I Am A Failure (with links) I'm sorry.

I came across an online posting today, that is a not so veiled shot at me.  I guess this means I struck a nerve.

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This person says, basically, that I should not be allowed to Speak The WLS Speak because I have had some problems, and I openly admit to eating inappropriately at times.

I am not successful and should be shut up. 

Right. 

• I HAVE had regains, hell my fat as**** 210 lbs again during pregnancy!
• I HAVE had some setbacks or issues, overall they are minor, I am alive!  Some would say I am extra lively.

I REFUSE TO LIE ABOUT ANY AND ALL SETBACKS.

I could! 

I could tell you that I swill nothing but liquid protein supplements!

I could tell you that I am EASILY maintaining my lowest weight, but I am NOT. 

I could tell you that my labs have always been perfect because I took the best quality vitamins and I only bought them from one source!  Not a chance.

The thing is, blowing sunshine and butterflies up someones ass before or post-operatively is not required.  Who sets the standards for "Bariatric Edumahcation?"  If I wanted sunshine and butterflies, I would play this:

I would never consider the possiblities, and go into this thing blindly. 

I suppose I did go into my roux-en-y gastric bypass blindly, I was not aware of what could happen to me.  

People did not talk about it.  HOW DARE THEY SUGGEST THERE MIGHT BE DOWNFALLS?  GASP!?  The horror!

Sure, there are plenty of positives!  I touch on those, as do most of the people out there journaling their journey or in a place of influence.

However.  I am NOT a butterfly journey.  "Look at me!  My life has been dramatically altered for the better because of the WLS, and I can FLY!"  Uh, no.  Some people realize that WLS is purely a physical aid, and you have to do the rest on your own, and it really does require a new brain.  People slip.  People struggle.
Pain hurts.  Why do we have to lie about it and pretend it doesn't exist? 

I went from 320 lbs to 150ish lbs.  Big freaking deal.  I did not become anything.  I did not change.  I am who I am. 

Part of why I started writing my PERSONAL WEB LOG was because of sunshine and butterfly people.  You can't live your life with your eyes, ears and mouth SHUT.  You can, but don't come crying when you are dealing with a problem, we told you it could happen, now it's time to deal.  You can live your life irregardless.  You live you learn. 

I am so far from perfect it's not even an issue. 

Are you perfect?  Should I pretend to be?  Would you respect me more if I were?

That's what has been asked of me.  Stepford Bariatrics.

And, the moment I asked her what I did to deserve such negativity, she banned me from her website.

QUOTE (meltingmama @ Feb 23 2009, 08:57 PM) I am part of what you are referring to as the majority, which makes me a failure by your standards.
"Are you the one that Teresa told me wrote that you go ahead and eat a doughnut when you crave one even though you know it makes you sick? I really didnt know that was you... but if you would like some help, we have a positive energy thread starting tomorrow. We are all in this together... why not join us bella"

And then my membership was deleted. Makes a girl want a donut, know what I'm sayin'?  What part of support is THIS?

Beth,

Stupid question, but...are you OK?  Really?

Jean

(Dramatic thread title.)

I'm good.

Thanks. 

oh please

how realistic is it to think you will NEVER eat anything bad again?

I stand by what I said in the other thread. she IS a nimrod. screw her

don't forget she is selling a lot of product. maybe she is shooting for sainthood

do NOT let her get to you Beth. Seriously. Ask Leilani or Connie in Texas or Debbiie about her. She is not a nice person and is using you to make herself sound superior.

what a b*tch!

argh! judi

I even emailed her last week - I wanted to talk about her "new" protein product.  She was pleasant enough, and replied about what she's selling.  I thanked her, and planned to review what she was touting so hard.

i don't think she would want a "dorito eater" reviewing her products! LOL

i bet if someone followed her around with a camera they would catch her with an occasional piece of chocolate!

<--- so not a Dorito eater.  Blech.

I am an indiscretion eater.  I love me some indiscretions.

Feel free to follow me around.  You will find my ass in Starbucks, Wendys (half a burger no top bun), and.. in the grocery store spending $300 on healthy foods and the occasional indiscretion, like DARK CHOCOLATE.

I find this increadably ironic.  Have you read her book?  I have.  I even reviewed it.  In it SHE TELLS YOU IT IS OKAY TO HAVE A BITE OR TWO OF DESSERTS!   Guess you made the mistake of admitting that you ate the whole donut! Ha Ha!

I read all of the comments on that other website (the first time I have ever even heard of that site) and all I could think is that when one of those people make a bad choice, they are going to be to shamed to admit it and reach out for advice.

I totally agree....but ya know something....they all obviously belong to an elite group of people who have had wls, or will have wls that was performed by true miracle workers......their surgeons not only gave them the tool to fight morbid obesity, but they apparently received instantaneous emotional and psychological repair as well.  Damn.....I sure do wish that my surgeon offered an absolutely fool proof 100% perfect nutritionally sound emotionally secure wls package!!!!  What a fabulous upgrade.

We are human, the surgery does not change that.  We make bad choices, and regardless of what they typed, I will never believe that everyone of them make nutritionally sound, wls friendly food choices every minute of everyday!!!  NEVER!!

If this journey was all rainbows and butterflies, then none of us would be members of cyber support sites.  We would all be running around with sunshine shooting out of are asses and aiming it at all the fast food joints, bakeries, ice cream parlors and so on.  I am super post op wls woman.....fear me and my protein supplements. 

I suppose they are all members of that site because they are having such a perfect journey, smooth  as ice, no bumps no glitches, no emotional roller coasters for them....they are just members to bask in each others glorious glitch free success.  Damn....to be so perfect has got to be difficult.

I guess I join MM in saying I too am a member of the majority and I guess that means I am classified as a failure.  I have eaten a Krispy Kreme dougnut, I have eaten Doritos, and many many other forbidden goodies......most of them have made me dump in various degrees, and I have not once felt guilty for eating any of it as post op, as I have not eaten a dozen of Krispy Kremes over the course of a day, I have not eaten the entire bag of Doritos, nor have I eaten an entire bag of chocolate goodies that I did way too easily and much too often as I did pre-op.  Typically, when I have eaten such no no's, it is usually only a bite or two and then I am satisfied and actually find that it doesn't seem to taste as good as I remember it pre wls.  And of course the dumping is not pleasant.

My surgeon, primary md, and nutritionist.....all of which are highly trained and more than qualified enough, have all told me that wls is not meant to place a person in nutritional prison, it is a tool to help you learn how to eat again, via making healthy choices and learning moderation.

I believe that what they posted only leads people to believe that wls magically fixes us and that we never ever have to struggle emotionally and we never make nutritional blunders again.

I want people to know that post op wls life is a daily fight......it helps people to understand that it really isn't an "easy" way out.  There are so many factors that go into consuming nutritionally sound and well balanced meals......everyone surely agrees with me here......kids, jobs, errands, financial worry, job security, time constraints ect, ect, ect.  For many it is a daily challenge beating down the emotional eating security blanket.

When they fall off of the perfection wagon.....I am sure they will need help, suggestions or a cyber hug.  I hope someone is there for them when the time comes.  Perfection doesn't last forever.

My rant is done now.

Missy-h