Letting it get to me...for no good reason!

I am six months out and have lost 114 pounds...which I would hope would make a noticable difference in my appearance.

I just spent Thanksgiving with both my brothers and their wives...and none of them have seen me in 1 1/2 years. My mother accidently told my eldest brother and his wife about my surgery but my other brother and his wife hopefully have no idea.

So the two that know about the surgery never gave me one complement about my weight loss even though I tried fishing for one...yes, silly I know...but everyone else in my family are extreme health nuts who have never been overweight and were overtly disgusted by my obesity...and since I had this surgery I have been fantisizing quite a bit about seeing them again and having them proud of my achievement....

The brother and wife who did not know about the surgery just went on and on about my weight loss and really made me feel good.

I know it is stupid to fixate on not getting a compliment from the other set...but I just can't mentally drop it since I invested so much hope in at least one, "Wow Kristi, you are starting to look good"...

So here I am venting...lol

However, out of curiosity...do you find that people who know about the surgery treat your weight loss differently than those who don't...almost like an elephant in the room or like it's doesn't count...?

Wow -- maybe they are jealous you're started to look good and be a health nut too so they wouldn't pay you a compliment? Lame, right??

For me, i've noticed that people are definitely complimenting me on my appearance. Even people that don't know me. For instance, my best friend is in Iraq and i was web cam chatting wtih her and one of the other soldiers were visiting her in her room and he's like "Hey, you're looking great!" I'm like aw thanks so much! So, you never know.

But, i wouldn't let it get to you too much at least your other brother was all about how great you were looking!!

Keep on losing. I'm sure you're feeling great!

I know it would have made you feel better - and you know they saw a totally different you.  Some people just can not be happy for another person - no matter what.  I love it when people make comments - but I try to just go on when they don't.  I know I'm looking good and feeling great - so there!!!

Hi- I'm just like you longing for the compliments.  After feeling sad about my husband not mentioning my weight loss, I brought it up and he said he was very proud of me, but he didn't want me to feel like he loved me because of losing the weight, that he loved me no matter what.  He was afraid of hurting my feelings, being overly positive might hurt me, like I wasn't good enought at my higher weight.  I hope that makes sence.  I understand where he was coming from, but at the time I just wanted the compliments!!   I don't know the relationship with your brother- but some men ( and woman) just don't know how to express themselves.  Congrats at your loss- I'm lookimg forward to mine!!  Carrie

Hi I had a similiar experience on Thanksgiving and know EXACTLY what you mean. We were going to my brothers and his wife's family was there- these are the size 2 girls from Long Island who I have spent the last 8 years suffering around because I feel that they never accepted me or bothered with me because of my weight. I couldnt wait to get over there and made sure I looked extra nice- I was anticipating a big reaction! I am 6 months out and have lost 100 pounds.
Well my sister in laws parents were so nice- gushing about how great I look etc. But the little witches didnt say one single word! I was stunned. I talked to my sister in law today and she said once I left they were all talking about me and her sisters couldn't get over how amazing I looked etc. She said they didnt know if it was ok to say anything because they weren't sure they were supposed to know I had the surgery!

Oh well I guess you have to just feel good about how great you look and feel for yourself and not worry about everyone else- although that is awfully hard to do considering what we have all been through.

I know for me, this has been one of my biggest emotional scars- because I actually had to drop out of being in my brothers wedding due to my weight. He is my only sibling and he was fuious with her because she (also size 2) picked these tiny strapless little designer bridesmaid dress that only went up to a certain size. I bought the biggest size and planned to have a seamstress make it work for me, but there wasn't enough material and it was a really unique designer pattern and we couldnt match it. I was mortified, but there was no way I was going to stand there with those skinny girls and ruin all their wedding pics and be humiliated. It was a BIG drama. I was so embarrassed. It all worked out in the end and my husband (fiance) at the time and I ended up doing a reading and we had a good time, I was so happy i wasn't up there in that dress. But it's a scar I am still trying to heal- believe me. So Thanksgiving was very disappointing for me when they didnt compliment me. Even though it really had nothing to do with them!

Ok thanks for letting me reminisce and remind me how far I have come from that very sad place!
Congrats on your success and enjoy it!