PANIC at the 11th hour! (It's LONG, sorry...)

Hello, all... I have been fighting my insurance company since January 2003, and finally, on October 29, I was approved by CIGNA for RNY. I think I've been so much into FIGHT mode, with hiring an attorney, preparing for the telephone hearing (which never happened due to being approved) that I lost sight of the actual life changing procedure. I am scheduled for Monday, December 1, and all of a sudden, I'M TERRIFIED. Sounds stupid, I know, cuz I've researched and researched for a YEAR. My husband even had his done in Sept., and has lost 75 lbs. However, he's been telling me, IT'S HELL at the beginning, and the PAIN is awful, and I saw for myself the psychological adjustment to changing eating patterns turned him into a MONSTER for the first month... I am afraid of vomiting post surgery from the anesthesia, afraid of the incision pain, afraid of complications, afraid of just about everything. Then, I was told I will be waiting for my "turn" for surgery for approximately THREE hours in pre-op. Can you imagine????? I'll be lying there all prepped, and scared to death for THREE HOURS...Sigh... What am I doing to myself? I can't be certain that my health will improve. I notice quite a few people NOT SMILING in their "after" pics and I wonder, are they FREAKED OUT cuz they can't eat??? lol Is the trade off worth it? I know I must sound nuts because I asked myself all these questions even last year and decided to proceed....but there's just something about going under the KNIFE in a few days... Any encouraging words or insights you have will be appreciated. I also don't have an angel, and don't know how to get one... Thanks to the best board on the internet for "listening"...

hi deb if you werent human you wouldnt be panicking..believe me..you are in for the ride of your life..as for pain in a few weeks its a distant memorie..id trade off all the pain i had from years of obesity to 3 weeks recovery time..its worth it believe me.. food will always be there bella ..you can eat the bad things in moderation to taste..if you feel like you want some choips eat 5 get it out of you..candy eat a few bites not the whole bar..everything in moderation..this surgery will not work unless you want it to..its a tool..as for having to wait 3 hours to have surgery..i waited 4 ..ask dr for valium or see if you can bring a book in with you at the holding p[art.. good ;luck have a uneventful surgery see you on other side joann

Hi Deb, I knew from the time that my orthopedic DR suggested this to me that it was the right decision (for me). You have to think to your self, how much do I really want to change the way I look and feel right now. If you are passionate that you really hate it, then you are making the right decision. Yes it is an adjustment, not just in the beginning, but for the rest of your life. We need to remember that we eat to live, not live to eat. As far as the anesthesia, it made me sick the day of surgery and the next day. I was nauseous (nothing to really throw up), but it passes. I also got sick from the morphine. The dr. took me off it and gave me something else. They also gave me something to settle my stomach. I was not really in excruciating pain, but discomfort. I had my surgery lap and felt almost normal 2 weeks out. Keep in mind that men are really babies and complain when they get a splinter. When my husband has the smallest ache, you'd think that he was dying. I live in pain daily (horrible arthritus in both knees, need to have them both replaced, and the reason I decided to have surgery) I rarely ever say a word about it. But men want everyone to know how they feel and to get sympathy. Jan

Hi Deb, If you were not scared I would be suprised. Know one takes this step lightly. We know the risks. When I start thinking like that I look at the walker that was just delivered becasue I can no longer walk without pain. I look and my diabeties testing kit that I didn't need a year ago. I think about what life will be like next year if I don't take this step. I have not heard one person say they regreted having the surgery. Everyone is different and some have a tougher time post-op than others. I wouldn't go by your husband, men are such babies sometime. I can't speak for you, but I know that the only way I can stop from over eating is if I have no choice. As long as I can do it, I will do it. Nothing in my past gives me any hope at all that I can diet my way out of this mess. I know I will grieve for sugar and other things I love to eat. I look at them now and can't help but feel some fear. It's almost like a ending a bad relationship. Sad but necessary. Only you can judge if the risks are worth the benefits. I'll keep you in my prayers. By the way, when you get there ask you doctor for a tranquilizer so the 3 hour wait won't be such a nightmare. I've done that for other surgeries I have had. Good luck Dianna

Hey Deb ~ Just ask any one of us if we would do it again. The response to that question should have you jumping at the opportunity to get this amazing life-saving, life-changing tool. No, it's not a piece of cake at the beginning, but the improvment is so rapid and then the weight starts falling off, and WHAM! you wonder why you waited so long to do it! BTW, I, for one, would do it again in a heartbeat!!! I'll keep you in my prayers... Charlene, Open RNY 10/30/2003 387/345/160

I am sure I will be feeling just like you are when I get a surgery date. Right now things are good, except I made the mistake of reading the book, I LOVE YOU FOREVER, to my son tonight. I was bawling on page 2 hehe. So was my son. I worried about losing my food, but it is temporary. So is the pain. Hey, if I can have my tonsils out at 30 I can handle this. I had two knee surgeries in less than a year. I can handle this. Remind me I said this when I am on here complaining of the pain after my surgery hehehe. I would definitely ask for a sedative. Let them know you are feeling nervous and anxious. I am going to make sure that hubby makes them give me something to calm me down. For all you know your recovery could be easier than your hubby's recovery. Just remember that each day gets better, and think ahead one week in time. Tell yourself how much better you will be feeling by then. After one week, think back and you will see that things are better. Good luck with your surgery and recovery period. You fought the insurance company. You won. Now fight the nerves and worried thoughts. Kerri

Just got a surg date of 12/22/03 and feel a little the same way. But I tell myself about all the benefits. Less pain, less medicine to take, no more seat belt extender. . . an on and on... Then I remind myself the pain and discomfort will be temporary and I can handle anything as long as I know it will go away soon. But the obesity complications will never go away if I don't lose the weight some how. I think about how I actually have hope of losing now where before I made the decision to go ahead with this surgery I really had no hope at all of my health improving. Hope is such a giddy feeling, I smile just thinking of the possiblitlities of life after this surgery. Keep positive thoughts in your head and rest assured you will be given some kind of medication in preop that you won't mind being there at all. I was given something and actually fell asleep while waiting for my knee surgery. This won't be any different in that dept. My prayers are with you!!

You've already gotten a lot of good advice, so I'll be brief. Ask your surgeon for something to help you sleep the night before surgery. Take a walk the day before, buy yourself some flowers, and definitely get some xanax or valium to help you rest while you wait for surgery. Actually, if your anxiety level is really high, ask your PCP, or surgeon for a few Xanax for the week before. You'll rest better. I'm not convinced we learn anything positive from pre-op anxiety. Warmly, Roz

Deb, You've gotten great advice from everybody so I will just tell you a little of my experience. They put the IV in me in pre-op and I don't remember anything until I was back in my room and my family and friends were there to greet me! I could have been in pre-op for hours for all I knew and I have no memory of post-op. Oh, I do remember them saying to me "OK, it's over. Everything went great" as they were taking me out of the operating room. Everybody's experience is different. Don't take your husband's experience as yours. Have a great Thanksgiving and an uneventful surgery. Ruth

Deb: I am set for 12/16/2003 and I am feeling some of the same things. I am terrified!!! I remember feeling this way when my doctor told me I was going to need a c-section. I knew it would be painful and the recovery miserable. I also knew that my baby's life depended on my going through with it. This time my life depends on it. I am worth it and so are you.