OT: Im going to be single again!

Hello my OH family well like most of you know I been in a relationship since before I had my surgery... I have had some wonderful moments with this man... he does things for me and my children no other man has even thought of. He cares and tells me he loves me and my girls... I have fallen deeply in love with this man. well the problem is right before we met he had just gotten out of a 5year relationship.... he was engaged to be married to this woman. she wont stop calling hes phone... so I was over there at hes house and she calls..he goes into the hallway and being that im not stupid I lowered the TV so I could hear...when someone calls me I answer the phone right infront of him. but anyways all I hear him say was I got someone here. So i asked him who was it on the phone and he told me hes EX so I was like what did she want... he said she wanted to talk about something...so then I said you told her u had someone over here... he said yea... I was like well damn you couldnt say I got my GIRLFRIEND over here.. being that he said SOMEONE and didnt clear the fact I was hes girl to her pissed me off.... he told me he had already told her that he was involved with someone new, but still I didnt like it. anyways before I met him I used to talk to all my male friends on messenger and on my BP page and on my myspace page. One night he came over and left hes email account open so I was trying not to look and close it but COME ON it was just there infront of my face just calling my name... so I looked and in one sent email he had sent this lady hes pics and telling her he hopes she likes them. So ofcourse i flipped and called him and he told me the only reason he did that was because he thought I was not taking him seriously, because I kept talking to guys online... so I foundit fair and delted my BP page, myspace and all the guys from my Yahoo IM. Today my friend asked me to help her with her BP (black planet) page because she doesnt know how... so we logged on and i helped her after I was done I went to type in hes old ID name and he has been loggin on... when he told me he has not logged on there in like forever!! so I asked him why does it say he has been loggin on to BP when he told me he has not been on there... he told me that 2 of hes other friends have the password and that one of them must have logged in that it was not him. I dont beleive him I just feel confused and I dont know what to do... I hate nothing more than a liar.. so what would you do? Meleney

Oh Meleney.  I'm so sorry to hear this.  He sounded like such a nice man, so kind, but I agree, if he can't tell the ex that his girlfriend is over or he can't stop getting on line with the ladies, there isn't much you can do.  None of us likes to be made a fool of.  The last guy I dated swore he would love me forever and take care of me.  He moved in here, spent all his money on strip clubs, and was on the internet in the middle of the night with all sorts of ladies.  I guess he figured I wasn't rich enough for him and he wanted someone who could take care of him in style!  I threw him out, lock, stock, and barrell and changed the damn locks!  I hope it can work out for the two of you, but if he doesn't change his ways, totally, I wouldn't blame you for dumping him. Linda

Thanks Linda I just hate to be lied to its the worst! Im sry to hear about ur past relationship... I wish men were not the way they are I feel like im never good enough... what the hell is wrong??

I know what you mean.  This man would sit right in front of me and have a phone conversation with a woman (I have exceptionally good hearing, so I could hear the whole thing), then tell me it was some guy he met at the guitar shop that morning.  WTF?  When the lying started was when I was done. You, young lady are an exceptionally kind and beautiful woman.  Don't you ever think it's because there is something wrong with YOU!  It's him that has the problem.  Some day you'll find someone who loves you just as you are and will realize just how wonderful and special you are.  I'm holding out till I find that, if it never happens, I'm fine as I am. Linda

Yea I prayed to God to send me someone good and BOOM here he comes...  I really thought maybe one day we would get married Im ready to settle and like you before he came along I was convinced I was not going to find someone worth my time and I had already made up my mind that if I had to be alone for the rest of my life well then so be it.

GOOD FOR YOU!  We all deserve better than to be dogged by guys!  I am so proud to hear of a woman who doesn't take that crap and kicks a guy to the curb for good when he acts like that.  I know it isn't an easy thing to do, the situation is full of pain... but you were strong and stood up for yourself, and that ROCKS!

It sounds like you aren't married - or living together - right?  Why not explore your options?  I wouldn't want to be with a liar either.  If it's meant to be - perhaps a bit of "un-exclusivity" might snap him back into shape.  If not - you may meet someone better - who isn't afraid to shout it from the rooftops that you are his woman.  You are a beautiful, strong woman.  Don't you settle for less than you deserve!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Terili

Yeah... sounds like he's running his game all over town and taking you for a fool to me.  I suppose it is possible that he is being honest.... but as my old boss used to say, if it walks like a duck, smells like a duck and quacks.... come on... its a damn duck.  He's an idiot if he lets people have his password and log into his account.  He needs to change the password and scold his friends (if that were really the case.)  I had a boyfriend once who still talked to his ex, and later found out he talked to her cause he was still sleeping with her... and at least half a dozen other women.  I'm not that gullible... anymore.

Yep I been cheated on so many times and been taken for granted..Im always looking out for my feelings I just hate this feeling of feeling DUMB  I really love him but I really feel like I cant trust him. Thank you Amethyst