any tips on raising a teenage boy?..

I raised 3 sons, current ages are: 27, 23 & 19. (I also have a 30 yr daughter). Honey... kids are tough to raise... the hardest job in the world...but, yet the most rewarding (you'll get there too). My two oldest sons & my daughter all moved out when they turned 16. I worked in law enforcement (DA) for 14 years. My oldest son, growing up, got into trouble with everyone who possibly could! One day, while working on a homicide trial, I got a call from his school saying he had not been in school for 17 days. UGH! Did I want to deal with that... NOT! I went to the school, withdrew him from school and informed him that he no longer had the privilege of attending school.  I told him that his room would go up for rent on the 1st of the month, and if he wanted to live there, he could pay rent. We sturggled with him from age 13 to age 16 when he finally decided he'd had enough and moved out. He got his GED on his own, got married at 18, went to community college with his wife, and together finished their degrees. He is now an engineer and a father to the most beautiful baby girl you'd ever seen! I say all that (and that was just one son!) to say this... Find a way to survive it yourself... because he'll get thru it... Just always let him know that you believe in him, that you love him (and even if u dont) that you TRUST him.  Good Luck..and God Bless you... sons really are a blessing! I believe that any woman who has son(s) has done something right in her life (or other lifetime??) Laxi

Laxi, I just LOVE that story.   My son is 14 and a great kid, but I've wondered what would I do if he wasn't?  Could I let him stumble and figure things out himself?  I think you just answered that for me.

Does your son have a cell phone ? Maybe if he does you can tell him you would appreciate at least a call if he is not comeing home on the bus. And I think I would call the other kids parents just to "feel" them out. Asking if they knew that under the states' law he isn't supposed to be driving anyone else around .  You don't want him to get into trouble but you are just concerned about your son. Too many accidents happen when more than one teen is in the car. Using cell phones, racing, just fooling around. I have a 15 yo daughter and always am worried where she is. She does have a phone and she knows I EXPECT her to let me know where she is and if things change. She now has a boy friend  who has an older brother . She can get a ride home but that is where I draw the line.  Now my worry is ........OH NO ! A BOYFRIEND !

Practice patience.............AND pray a lot! It's not easy......

I don't know... I have a 20 year old an almost 18 year old and a small child (2 years old) Just lots of prayer and patience.... I need that T-shirt! ;)

You can't fight with teens all the time so you have to decide which one's are worth the effort.  My wife and I always talked about everything and always showed a united front.  Once they know that one of you will tell the other everything they think a little more before breaking the rules.  The part of our brain that helps us relate actions to consequence doesn't mature until about age 25 so god help us all .

17 and you have a noose around his neck. If you want a relationship with your son you better loosen up a bit. The more you pull the more he will pull away. Time to sit down all three of you and set some house rules. But give him some rope.

Oh, boy. I've been here - I have three sons, 2 teenagers. I just got finished with a 10 week course called The Parent Project which helps parents of strong-willed kids.. It was soooo great, I finally have control in my own house (for the first time). The biggest thing we learned is to establish "House Rules" and not budge on them - EVER! Using a little thing called T.E.A.S.P.O.T. (Take Everything Away for Short Periods of Time) works wonders - but you have to be consistent.  Specifically in your case, your son is breaking the law and if you wanted to or were willing to, you could turn him in. Also, every parent needs to know that if a child does not listen and obey, they are being "unruly" and you have the right to file charges against them in juvenile court. They don't get a record or anything, but they do get a probation officer who will scare the crap out of them. I did it to my oldest son (16) and it straightened him out right quick. I've had to call the cops on my 14 year old ONCE (he's a destructive angry little bugger) - he never wants to face that particular officer ever again!  Raising kids is tough and teenage boys are a handful. I don't think parents are aware of just how many resources are available to them today though.  Christine

OMG - I wish my BFF knew about this program.  SHe's gone to hell and back with her now 19 year old.  She tries to be tough, but he can turn on the charm and soften her right up.  It annoys the heck out of me, but I'm not in her shoes, so who am I to judge? Through my son's life, I've been very consistent about consequences and actions, an my son gave up negotiating a long time ago.  If I did have a son like that, I would definitley take advantage of such a learning program.  What group holds The Parent Project?  Id love to hold onto that info for reference to other troubled parents.

http://www.parentproject.com - I have a workbook in my car with the phone numbers if you want them!  The greatest thing was you don't need to have out-of-control kids to use these tools. Most parents ground their kids but TEASPOT takes away EVERYTHING - which made a HUGE difference with me and my boys.  As for softening a parent up - we learned 2 wonderfully handy words in class - "nevertheless" and "regardless" - they can be just as sweet as candy, "nevertheless, you're on a 2 day TEASPOT!"  My absolute favorite thing I learned from classmates whose daughter has been bi-polar since the age of 6 - when one kids tattles and suggests a TEASPOT for a sibling ---- they get the SAME punishment!!!!!! LOVE IT!