any tips on raising a teenage boy?..

My son didn't come home off the bus so here I am worried and I call his g/f and she tells me he got a ride with his friend .. who has only had his licence for 3 months and can't drive passengers until the 6 month mark.. so he comes home in the friends car at 3:15 likes it's no big deal. and I talk to his friend and he plays it like its not a big deal that he is driving people around.. kids today.. and he says he parents don't care that he drives people around.. so he brings his back pack in the house and then leaves again in the car. .. he'll be 18 in 6 months and I know I can't keep him in the bubble for ever .. he just doesn't get that I was worried.. if I didn't care then I wouldn't worry. I did let him drive with this kid after prom because it was prom night and that was it .. now his dad is pissed and pissed at me .. I didn't tell him that he's only been driving for 3 months.

OUCH!  Sometimes our kids don't understand we're just looking out for them.  I know if it were me I would call the kids parents, after all they will be the responsible party if an accident were to occur.  (at least in most states)  Otherwise, lock him in a closet, throw away the key and call a locksmith when he turns 21...LOL  JK   sometimes humor can help us relax and find a new perspective on things...HTH   Sit your son down when neither of you are angry and just explain your point of view.  Good Luck!!!

My son turns 21 tomorrow.  I know how you feel.  I still want to protect him from the world, but he isn't having it at all.

He is home from college and last night told me I was "mothering" him too much.  I said, "Uh, yea, I am your mother, and I will always mother you."  I did promise him I would try and back off as much as possible, but no promises...LOL. Matter of fact he flew to Boston for his 21st birthday to hang with a friend he has at MIT....I told him he is giving me all kinds of gray hair. My only advise is to tell your son why you were/are worried, but you are right you do have to cut those apron strings.   I know I am always saying a prayer that God will protect my son...it's all I can do at this point. 

Although my oldest son is only 12 I have fully decided once he turns 13 I am dropping him off at good will.  LOL

LMAOTHAT WAS FUNNY!

Kelly, please don't take this wrong, because it is not a criticism... just insight.  When you let your son ride with the boy after prom, he didn't understand that it was a special cir****tance. When we excuse behavior (ie: riding with the boy), then the kids will abuse that excuse.  I know that I have two teenaged daughters and they often times don't understand and we as parents have a hard time explaining our thought process. It's tough to be a teen these days, and tougher to be a parent to teens.  Even after they turn 18, our hearts are still yanked out of our chest when we see them in situations that they cannot clearly identify as being dangerous. Have faith in the fact you raised him well, and that he will make appropriate choices... one day!  =)

i feel for you - I've been around my stepson since he was 9...he's 19 now & home from his freshman year at college.  In his junior year of HS, his dad &  I lost most conversation & the door became permantly closed.  All in all he's a good kid, so I dont worry much.  I still flat out ask the with who / what are you doing  / where are you going questions at every chance I get ( and I'm dealing with the fact that I only get one word answers), but besides that I step back - know if i push anymore he'll feel mothered & smothered.    He's just growing up.

I have two boys - one is 16 and the youngest is 12.  All I can say is be consistent.   Just for a laugh - My mom bought me a night shirt for Mother's Day and it said: "Listen, honey, no one knows how to raise teenagers.  You just turn around one day and they are people." Good luck.  I know it's not easy!  The Goodwill idea is a good one!

Well, often insurance will refuse a claim if an accident occurred during an illegal act.  So, if your son is in an accident in the car with his friend, and his friend is breaking the law by taking passengers when he's not supposed to, you could be footing the bill yourself or trying to sue his parents.  Good luck with that.  Perhaps a call to this friend's mother would be in order about this liability.

In California, they have 1 yr with no passengers (if getting license at 16). My little darling did pretty good with it...BUTTTTTTTT....about 11 months into it, he got caught..speeding w/ his friend in the car.  He got 13 hours community service for the speeding and 12 hours community service for having the kid in his car. (plus the kid had to get out of the car and walk home). NOW, you might think this is a good lesson for the kid in my sons car. About a month later (the day AFTER the  passenger kid got his license), they needed to take SAT's about a half hour away.  The kid called my son and said..Hey, its alright with my mom if u go in my car. I said, its NOT ok with me...Your Dad will drive u both to the SAT's.   Wish they didnt have to learn everything the hard way. My son just turned 18 and my heart tugs every Friday and Saturday when he is out til midnight.    Every time there is an accident with a fatality, I point it out just as a reminder. Im sure he thinks Im morbid, but ....just want him to know how fast life can be snuffed out.    Wish I had a quarter for every time I have said...Please think about the consequences and possibilities before you do things.   I know this didnt help you any, but you are not alone...Its a mom thing! (even my husband thinks Im a overprotective which does not help).   Good Luck