Devastated

Michael, that was like deja vu for me.  I have a friend who is very into holistic medicine ... my conversation was so very similiar.   Last week was the first I talked ot her since my surgery just over 4 months ago.    She asked how I was doing and when I told her she was much more supportive this time.     These people... sometimes our friends/families are going by what they hear and for some reason bad info seems to be retained in our brains longer than good info.    My goal is to prove them wrong.   Congratulations on having the surgery and you will do great.  Welcome to the other side.

Unfortunately, there is no surgery to cure STUPIDITY!!  (sounds like she has a bad case of it, too!) Best of luck to you, Anita

OK  to be on the fence about this..its sounds like she was concerned for you,your health and malnutrition.Understandable.If she is a TRUE friend..then her words were of concern. The LAZY comment is more bothersome to me.Obesity is a DISEASE....just like alcoholism....(it's like giving a beer to an alcohol..let's see what happens!) But Mike Are you really lazy??? or did you just give up on life with one hurt after another?Where you soothing the ache in your heart with food?or were you being just lazy?????Were you lazy in your life?do you have a job? are you functioning?Are you excercising?and taking care of what you eat now and taking your vitamins?(if you are so lazy you wouldnt be doing any of that) I am a massage therapist...I massaged at 248 with a 52 inch waist....Is she saying ALL obese people are lazy?(can you tell I am bothered by this lazy comment). It comes right down to have a problem of food and our emotions. It takes time to change your life and to cut through the denial. I know I have done my work (inner work as well as outer) to get to where I need to be...emotionally and physically. We all are trying to better ourselves everyday. be good, carol

Michael, I am just a newbie, pre-oper but I want you to know that, for what it is worth, you did the right thing in having WLS!!   I had one friend who had basically the same attitude as yours, and in her quest to "educate" me I realized she only ever made me feel bad about myself and then sort of turned the knife with a "See I am beutiful and I am being your friend" attitude... as if she was doing me a favor!! Prior to gaining weight 15 years ago, I was like a lot of other women here, I wasn't bad to look at, I actually did some modeling, but the weight made me forget all of that and in a way I am glad becuase I pray I NEVER had an "I'm better than you becuase I look good" attitude" I don't think i did.  My point is... sometimes "beautiful" i.e  "good to look at but insecure" people need someone they think is less than them to keep their ego up... you may have been that person for her and now that your life is changing... who's she gonna use?   May your journey be blessed with all good things and the best reuslts and may the people who are not FOR you... be removed from your life... you don't need 'em anyway!!  That's my newbie 2 cents LOL

See now that's what ****** me off so very much.  Because SHE doesn't know the facts she is spewing hatred your way!   Her words were so uncalled for.  Calling you lazy and saying just go anorexic is soooo degrading!  She should be behind you and suppporting you and your decisions, she doesn't have to agree with the road you took, but you took it and she didn't need to be so negative. I am sorry you have to deal with this.  You made the right choice for you and keep on with what you are doing! Don't let anyone bring you down!

I agree with you!! You just said it better then I did... carol

I think you said it perfectly as well  

Wow!  That sucks....and an old and dear friend?  Really?  Sounds to me like she could be jelous or something.  This is one reson why I chose not to tell anyone about my surgery.  I've only told one person at work and she is soooo supportive.  She wants and needs the surgery, but she's a big chicken!  LOL I have not even told my mother-in-law yet.  It's just something I think is very personal.  But, in your case, it was an old dear friend that you thought would be supportive.  Funny how this surgery tends to separate the real friends from the "posers"!

HI, I am sorry that your friend blasted you like this....Bariactric surgery is very expensive, but ignorance is free, and it sounds like your friend took the free offer. I also found her comments to be unsupportive and rude. I am just beginning the journey, and I hope that I never have to have the conversation that you had with your friend. Even though she doesnt understand, members of this board do, and you can always turn to us.  Russ (KB1FID)

Hey Mike, stick around here, you will find those who understand and have dealt with the exact same issues from well meaning dear friends and family, who eventually fade away. My guess, they werent a true friend to begin with. I too, had my sister in law die from the surgery at the age of 42 BUT she had let her health get to the point that she was going to die with or without it. It was a gamble and she knew it going in, had a stroke in the OR and lived about 2 years as a stroke victim, bed bound and felt she was a burden to her family. We talked before my RNY and she said she would do it again, regardless of her outcome, it gave her 2 more years to see another child graduate, another one marry and see 2 grandchildren born she would not have otherwise seen. Her quality of life was diminished but she never regretted her decision and her stroke eventually killed her, NOT her RNY. She even said herself if she had not waited until her health had gotton so bad and acted much earlier with surgery that she would have had a different outcome. I didnt want to wait until I reached that point and was getting there fast at 320 pounds.

For the record, Im 3 years post op and I still have a HIGH B 12 count, never have had to have a B 12 to this day. I take sublingual B 12 daily, vitamins daily, and my iron is even getting higher. Ive not had a complication to date, not saying I wont ever, the future isnt carved in stone for any of us but I do what my surgeon tells me to do, have regular visits and do my part to improve my health It is up to you, to do your part, to maintain your health and you sound like your on the right track from where I sit. Hang in there and welcome to OH!