OT: My BF cheated 2 days after my surgery

  You have been paying his way for along time and been being disrespected for much longer I am sure. It is time to move on. You are a beautiful woman who would do much better on her own.

Yes print out the ad and make copies because he might tear up the one you show him.  Can you go online and print the charges.  I know some banks and credit card places have online billing that shows all the charges.  Same with Cell phones.  Or you can also claim you thought it was for your account and opened it by mistake.  I'm sorry you are going through this but I feel you are a tough and powerful person.  We are always here to support you no matter what. Krista

Is this a joke, right!! If not so why do you need a boyfriend? J

I've read that WLS can make a rocky relationship worse and a strong relationship stronger.  I think there is some truth to this.  In your case it sounds like this guy has really been taking advantage of the whole situation letting you pay bills, not working, and then getting fired so soon after even getting a job.  He sounds like dead weight to me.  Who gives a heck if you are not housekeeper of the year.  That really isn't the issue here.  Being in a relationship and living together should be a 50-50 partnership with both of you sharing equal responsibility for bills and chores.  Furthermore, now that you know he has cheated on top of all that I'd say it's time to kick him to the curb.  You don't need proof to do that....you already know the truth and this joker is probably only going to deny it anyway (even if you show him the proof...he'll make up lies to cover his butt).  As for fears about paying the bills yourself (he was only ever contributing half the rent)....well, get a cheaper place if you can, get a roommate (someone you know and trust), do whatever it takes to not raise your son in an unhappy environment with someone that really is not treating you with the respect and love that you should be given. 

He's a jerk and you deserve SO much better. So do your kids. Who knows what diseases he could be bringing into the house? Don't even try to discuss it with him. You know the truth, you found proof. He did not pay for two dinners and a hotel room to cuddle. Get a safe deposit box, make and keep copies of his bank statement etc. there, open a separate bank account and stash away every spare penny you can. Then, I would pack my bags and move to CA, where you'll have some support while you get on your feet, while he is at work. You can have an attorney in CA contact him about where he can send child support. Do not even tell him you are leaving. Just do it. Hang in there! It probably doesn't look like it right now, but getting rid of this asshole is one day going to look like the best thing that ever happened to you. Promise.

Two words for ya:  DUMP HIM!!

He's obviously not worth wasting any more time on.  YOU are worth more than that.

Julie

I am chaneling Dr Laura as I type this and most will not like what will be said BUT it will be said, just ignore it adn move on if it offends you......... First you had a child before you moved in with you BF, BAD IDEA, raise you kid then get involved with someone. Never move in with him marry him then move in. You admitted you may have had a hand in "pushing him away" and drnying him his carnal pleasures amny times. ood at least you know where part of the problem lies. What kind of a relationship do you have when you're afraid to tell him you read the mail? sounds like you have been in a bad spot with this guy from the start that being said hes still a  jackass for cheating on you in your current state. You need to pack up the kids and get back home to your family where you and your kids will have some stability and support. Hes working parttime and will probably not be a good provider any time soon, sounds like hes doesn't what "the right thing" to do is with his life.  Move on focus on the kids and getting them grown up and teaching them the right way to do things, its a full time job.Once they are on their way you can focus back on your life, in 15 years or so. Good Luck 

You sleep with him, breathe his air, smell him, and have a child together and you can't open any mail that arrives at your joint home? You need to get some guts here. You need proof of what he is doing with the cheating, but you're not a slave automatically responsible for the clean or dirty house. He was living there, he is as responsible as you. If he is stupid enough to bring up you working and paying everything and him not cleaning, I'd say he will get what he deserves from a judge. Clean your house as soon as possible, for your own sake and the kids, and start putting money away for leaving him. You will need all the paperwork on what you both own, pictures of all your furnishings etc, and his bank account numbers. You need your own pay stubs , and any you can find for him. leave these things at work if you have to, but find them, and keep them. After you get all the information about the web site with his ad, just put it away and save money for leaving. Be looking for somewhere to go, or consult a lawyer about making him leave if you can pay the bills alone and want to stay there, after all, you are the mother with 2 children. Try to find out any help on childcare from the state if you need to. If you have a better work record than he does, you may get custody because you are better able to provide and he will get visitation and pay you child support. Anything wrong going on with your daughter that he can use against you, start right now to fix it. Do not let him intimidate you. And next time, don't leave your family and friends and move across country with a boyfriend. Believe me, he likes you not having family support while his is around. It's called isolation and many men do it to their wives or girlfriends. It allows him to mistreat you without witnesses.

One statement " HE IS A LOSER" and a cheat and this is not ur fault.  Get what u need to get together in ur life but please don't wait to do it before u leave him.  Get rid of the bum, once a bum always a bum.  And u my dear a beautiful winner, Joni

UPDATE Thank y ou to everyone for all the support, advice and comments. I know what I have to do, and I was having a very bad/depressed day yesterday. I'm a much stronger person than this and I have been putting up with crap from him for way to long for the sake of the kids and trying to keep the family together.   We had a really long talk last night and he admitted to cheating with a married woman.  He also admitted he found out about the guy 2 years ago (we were broken up when I went out with this other guy) by reading my journal so he didn't care about my reading his mail because he read my journal. I wasn't scared to tell him I read the mail because I thought he'd do something to me, but because I felt doin that was wrong, (and a federal offense.  I'm employed with the police dept, so I'm a stickler for laws sometimes and could lose my job if he decided to press charges)  even though I did think it was our joint account.   My daughter is gone for the week, so we are going to take the week to figure things out, where and how to go from here.  I'm playing nice for now, to get my ducks in a row, get an attorney, and have myself fully protected before we break up.  I am taking an inventory of the house as I clean and making copies of all the documentation I have.  I cannot move out of state right now, but am looking for other places, some that have income guidelines, so my rent will be cheaper.  And that's about it for now.   Thanks again I really appreciate you guys!!!