Hating myself

Today is one of those days I just hate myself. I hate what I haven't become, and what I have become. I don't know, maybe it is the onset of my 40th birthday this month. I just feel like I need to be more supportive on the boards, but how can I be when I just don't care. I think I may go into hiding till the 31st....lol Wow, after reading this, think I better call the doc and have him up my lexapro. Dee Thanks for letting me rattle

Hey girl answer your cell I am calling you.  LoL

Peaches,
in life we all have regerts with the wahst ifs what ifs what ifs..
what you going to do ? you cannot dwell on the past you need to move forward.
hitting the 40s is the best! embrace the 40s! they were the best years of my life even though i spent most of them obese!
you need to make peace with yourself over alot and accept what ever life have to offer.
congratulations on hitting the 40s, i wish i was in that era of my life again
remeber pay it forward bella
accept things and dont dwell on stuff it will eat you up like a cancer!
ciao bella
JoAnn

Dee, I have seen you be plenty supportive on these boards.  I'm sorry you are feeling so down on yourself right now - if lexapro is the key, then by all means call the doctor.  If its bigger than that - seek a counselor.  But, if it is just a mid-life crisis, go buy a car, or take a vacation (a good like Hawaii vacation), or something indulgant.  40 is a rough age mentally - try and remember the alternative to getting older - is NOT getting older.   My mother died when she was 43.  I turned 43 last year....its an odd feeling when you realize that you might be at the end of the road....but then someone said to me...YOU aren't your mother.  YOU grew up in a healthier environment, YOU are taking better care of yourself...this is NOT the end of the road.  So, I lifted my head up.  I hit the treadmill.  And yes, I bought a convertible (about 2 weeks ago).  Don't let your age get you down - that is an uncontrollable issue.  Its like worryin g about the sun burning out...nothing you can do about it. My point??  Relax.  Seek treatment as you see fit.  Indulge in a little "ME" for a while.  Get back to the boards when you're ready...there will always be folks needing support, be it now or in a month, or in a year... HUGS to you.  Hope your spirits are lifted soon!

Good morning Peachling I'm so glad you are posting. I know its difficult to offer support when you don't feel like you can be possitive and are feeling down. I just started feeling like I could offer it again just a few weeks ago. Call me after 3 today, my cell phone will be plugged in. Calling your dr is a good idea, you shouldn't be suffering. Don't feel bad about turning 40 they are the new 30s. You can rattle on as much as you want. Hugs and squeezes from Texas Lorraine

 Sending you some LUV............... YEP...sounds like them ole hormones and fat cells are colliding!!!! I hope you feel better soon! Leticia

Hugs to you Dee!  Yes, you might need to adjust your lexapro.  I am on 20 mg and thought I needed to up it but my doc suggested adding welbutrin.  It's working great for me -- sent that gloomy cloud packing. Re the 40s -- truly the best decade yet for me too -- I'm 47 and just had my surgery on 09/24/207.  Even though I've been SMO for most of my 40s, it's been a great several years.  This is the time when we become comfortable with who we are, grow more confident, and figure out what's really important.  All that well before we become old ladies! I'm glad you posted Dee, and do give your doc a call.  Jasmine

Dee, look at it this way, you are so much more healthy for this birthday that it is a time for rejoicing!  Trust me the 40's are not that bad at all.  I am half way through mine LOL.  Happy early Birthday! 

Self hate is a horrible thing..  It drives us to do destructive things.  Learn to embrace yourself and ever good and bad thing there is bc it is who you are.  Weight is our body not out soul.  Dont go into hiding but write down everything you are feeling and we will listen.   Oooo I couldnt tolerate Lexapro glad you could.  Im on wellbutrin.... so if you ever want to talk send me a PM.... Jess

Hugs to you  and kisses.  Hope your down day gets brighter.