Is your meal ok? ... are you finished with that?

This is a difficult situation:  I like a lot of others do not feel it necessary to tell a waiter/waitress about my surgury.  I just ask for a takehome box.  My mother on the otherhand goes into detail as to why I am not eating much.  On a few occasions I have left the table ( gotta love those foamies right?) and come back to find my food packed up.  One time I was not sick just needed to visit  the ladies room.  I came back and the food was packed up.  I asked what was with that and Mom said I thought you were sick and would not want anymore.  I had taken a bite or two of my eggs.  I just opened up the takeout box and finished eating .  I know Mom is just trying to help; but I don't find it justified to have to tell everyone in the world about my surgury.  A couple of restaurants have offered me the Senior meal or the kids menu but honestly there is nothing on the kids menu healthy for me to eat. ie burgers,hotdog ( gag)  , fried chix tenders . New years eve we went out and had a nice dinner:  the restaurant we went to usually has a "lite fare" menu but since it was a holiday they did not offer it .  They sat a 16 ounce piece of beef in front of me along with a huge baked potato.  1/4 of potato and four ounces of beef later I was asking for a to go box LOL. Anyway: I would suggest at least for a while ordering from the appetizer menu or sharing something with your husband. 

So, I hope you replied that "everything was fine, thank you. Please bring me a take-out container and I'll enjoy the rest tomorrow."  It's no one elses business why we are eating or not eating (unless there's an issue with the food), but she probably was concerned that there was something wrong with it.  Eating out is a treat for me, now.  I get to enjoy the meal again, or bring it home for one of my kids. Good luck, and enjoy!

I have been out to eat a few times myself and yes it makes for a slightly akward situation. In my experience, when I went to my favorite restaurant and the waitress kept coming up I just told her the food is awesome, as it always is when I come in here I'm just not very hungry tonight but I would love to get a container so I can have this later tonight or tomorrow.   She still came over about 2 more times and asked if everythign was good and if we needed anything. I told her excellent and we were all set and very stuffed!   I could have told her about the surgery but at this restaurant, which is a chain, I didn't want to talk about it that day.

I have in a different restaurant, advised the waitress up front.  Actually I wanted to order off the kids menu, so I asked her if I could because I had WLS and since I didn't veyr much I rather order the kids menu, if not that I'd be fine and just order off the appetizers (which were less than the kids menu) but she said, "Dear you order whatever you want on there, if its kids menu I'll bring that out for you and don't worry about giving me a reason."  She also offered to bring a container out for me if I needed it.      Basically you do and say what feels best... but remember a waitress/waiter questioning why you aren't eating, or asking if everything is okay is because they want to make sure that you are enjoying your food and from their perspective you came into their restuarant to eat and aren't doing the that.  Well you are eating but not like everyone else and therefore they want to make sure everythign is fine, so just reassure them and if you feel comfortable or need warrants you can let them know what's going on.    My surgeon actually gave me ID cards that I can bring out when questioned or don't want to talk out loud about it.  The card is very simple and just says: MEDICAL ALERT - Patient has had bariatric surgery and her stomach has been reduced to hold 1/2 cup of food or less.  Please allow her to order off the kids menu.  It has his name, information, address, phone and fax.  I haven't had to use them yet, so far wherever I go everyone is great.

The further postop you are, the more you've lost, the less apt they are to ask that question.  Oddly they have no problems or little to no problems believing thin people don't eat much at a sitting, but have trouble believing heavier people do.  grrr.  I never ate much at one sitting and took home leftovers.  I just ate all day long so it added up.

As you lose more weight you will be able to eat more and a bit faster!! I now go out and share a meal with either my boyfriend or one of the kids... sometimes the food does not sit well as some have said and I tell the manager after the millionth time of coming over that it is just not good and they take it off my bill.. only happened once or twice. I try to order what I know will be ok! I order dark chicken instead of white cuz I know it will be soft.. etc...LOL some times Fish is ok sometimes not depends... until I found this boyfriend the guys I was dating just figured I am petite thats why I don't finish my meals..LOL too funny.. I went from highest 300 pounds to 150... it always make me laugh..people think I am petite and small little thing... LOL I am still big on the inside!! well enjoy sweetie this is quite a wonderful ride you are on!! I am 9 months out and Loving it... Ciao

Get used to it!  I've had waitresses, managers, owners and chefs come to the table over the years to ask if everything was to my liking.  I've had some insist that my part of the bill be removed, even when I've insisted everything was fine.  Even when I said yes, I'm just not very hungry, or yes, I just don't eat much, they remain skeptical.  But I don't think it's their business to know why. I do plan in advance when eating out however. I have a small nylon insulated bag and plastic containers that fit it in as well as refreezable ice packs. I bring this along so I can safely and easily take my leftovers home. Even after 5 years I always leave at least half the meal on my plate. Ann

The two restaurants we regularly eat at (a vietnamese/chinese place every few weeks for 3 years, and a thai place once a week) have certainly wondered why I don't eat much now and noticed that I've lost a lot of weight.  I told them both that I'd had surgery and couldn't eat much now, but that's all I've said.  Anywhere else I've just said "the food was fine, I just wasn't very hungry" and either box it up, let my husband pick at it, or leave it.  Most wait staff doesn't ask but sometimes they look like they want to.  I am also kind of picky when I order and ask a lot of questions, so they may be concerned that it didn't come out the way I asked.  Managers sometimes come by, but mostly it hasn't been a big deal and I definitely don't feel like I should have to explain myself.  We eat at restaurants fairly often and mostly its been a non-issue, but you will run into questions now and again.  At the Thai place the owner was genuinely worried about my health - he always asks about our health and tells us what foods and asian medicines help with this or that - so when I stopped eating much and started losing weight quickly he was concerned about me.  Now he is so nice about making sure of what I can and can't eat and adjusting how they cook anything if I want and making sure I am super happy with my meal.  Needless to say we eat there frequently, its cheap and the service is like visiting your grandparents or something :)