A Funny For Miss Mary
Miss Mary...don't ask me why, but when I read this one I immediately thought of YOU! 
Yesterday I was at my local Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally c omplete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Target won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Yesterday I was at my local Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally c omplete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Target won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Phyllis
HW 314, SW 287, PS Weight 198, CW 181
Panniculectomy/Anchor TT 06-10-09
7.4cc in 10cc band
HW 314, SW 287, PS Weight 198, CW 181
Panniculectomy/Anchor TT 06-10-09
7.4cc in 10cc band
Hey there Phyllis!!!! It is great to see you. I miss you so much and Love ya!!!! I want you to please cruise with us again next year. You grab Tammy up and y'all come on next time. Hey Camen!
I miss you too! Tammy and I (along with another extra special lady from the Bama board) are planning a girl's weekend sometime in late February up towards your neck of the woods . We'll let you know ahead of time and maybe we can all meet up for Saturday afternoon coffee or something!
Ya'll have a wonderful time and we may just have to go next time! It was one of the most fun vacations I've ever had!
I miss you too! Tammy and I (along with another extra special lady from the Bama board) are planning a girl's weekend sometime in late February up towards your neck of the woods . We'll let you know ahead of time and maybe we can all meet up for Saturday afternoon coffee or something!
Ya'll have a wonderful time and we may just have to go next time! It was one of the most fun vacations I've ever had!
Phyllis
HW 314, SW 287, PS Weight 198, CW 181
Panniculectomy/Anchor TT 06-10-09
7.4cc in 10cc band
HW 314, SW 287, PS Weight 198, CW 181
Panniculectomy/Anchor TT 06-10-09
7.4cc in 10cc band
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