2009 Contract

Collards is green, my Cat's name is Lucky   
and I’m so proud to have a friend in a  sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Luckies  and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain’t got no scales but I luv you anyway.

Yo’re as satisfy’n as okry jist a-fry’n in the pan.
Yo’re as fragrant as “snuff" right out of the can.

You have some’a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we’re in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
well, I’m in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them friends at home, they all want to know,
what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape yo’re there fer yore friend,
to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

Yo’re as cute as a ladybug a-buzzin’ overhead.
You ain’t mean like those far ants I found in my bed.  

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hug me real tight like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete; Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.

Yore complexion, it’s perfection, like the best vinyl sidin’.
despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin’.

Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
we go together like a skunk goes with it’s stank.

Some folks, they buy chocolate for Valentine’s Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it’s romantic that way.

Some folks git roses on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger. That’s impressive," I say.

Some folks buy from a flea market booth.
“Bargin's are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this friend, honey, these won’t do.
Cause yor’e too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
more useful than bargains……IT’S A coupon to spend the night over

Luv, from yor Vicksta