Are you.......................... ?
Martha or Maxine? ????  ?????Martha : Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips. Maxine : Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway! Martha : To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. Maxine : Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year. Martha: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. Maxine: Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you! Martha : If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.' Maxine: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!' Martha : Wrap celery in aluminum fo il when putting in the refrigerator a nd it will keep for weeks. Maxine: Celery? Never heard of it! Martha : Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. Maxine : The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't. Martha : Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Maxine : Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away! Martha : If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. Maxine: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you. Martha : Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Maxine : Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!!!!!!  P.S. Thanks Martha Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. |
I have a friend in Florida who has a plaque in her kitchen that says, "Martha Stewart doesn't live here." I love it!
I wish I were more like Martha, but I'm afraid I am all Maxine. The only thing that resembles Martha Stewart is my hair this morning.
Well, I'm off to bake about 15 dozen cookies and make some chicken and dressing and all that crap. I'm doing the Christmas dinner at my house tomorrow. I wish Martha were here! Maxine and I could drink Margaritas while we watched her prepare the dinner! LOL
I wish I were more like Martha, but I'm afraid I am all Maxine. The only thing that resembles Martha Stewart is my hair this morning.
Well, I'm off to bake about 15 dozen cookies and make some chicken and dressing and all that crap. I'm doing the Christmas dinner at my house tomorrow. I wish Martha were here! Maxine and I could drink Margaritas while we watched her prepare the dinner! LOL
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