HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Hello Fellow Wyomingites,  I don't even know if that is considered a word.  LOL.  All is well in Northeastern Wyoming.  We have survived another "winter storm/blizzard" in which I had to learn just how "out of shape" I am by digging my car out of 18 inches of snow--and I drive a VW Bug.  Thank goodness I didn't have to dig out around a full-size car.  And also thank goodness my BUG gets around in the snow better than most 4-wheel drives.

It's a difficult time of year for those of us who must enjoy the outdoors from our living room picture window as opposed to actually being out there walking, hiking, camping, gardening, etc.  I could go to the gym, but I don't know of any that are truly FREE and my financial situation at the moment does not include gym membership.  I have put on weight, especially over the past few months due to major stress in my life.  The "Art of Grazing" should be a best-selling novel since it is already a cardinal sin to those of us who have undergone gastric bypass surgery.  I lie in bed every single night and vow that tomorrow will be different.  How many of you do the same thing?  I will just start over with the basic fundamentals I learned right after surgery.  I will eat 5 small meals per day, I will exercise for at least 15 minutes each day, I will write/journal/blog my frustrations, I will read something inspirational, I will learn to BE HAPPY and JUST LIVE MY LIFE.  Yet, every morning when I wake, I trudge to the coffee pot and start the day out with a caffeine buzz.  I eat cheese and crackers--just one small package is all I can stand.  I watch the birds and the turkeys and/or deer frolic over the frozen tundra that used to be my backyard.  Then I sit down to check the daily news and read my email.  All of this is over in less than 2 hours and I'm left with deciding how to spend the rest of my day.  I get out the Yoga mat and do a few stretches just to keep myself limber.  I could go all out and get out my Tara Stiles DVD and do an actual Yaga routine, but I'd hate to deter from my mundane daily routine of feeling sorry for myself and wishing the fat or the number on the scale would just magically go down by itself.

It has been 5 years since my gastric bypass surgery and although I did lose 120 pounds in my first year post op, I have gained 35 pounds of that back and I just can't work up the ambition to do something about it.  I lead the Weight Loss Surgery Support Group in Sheridan on the first Monday of every month.  I read and research every month for a program to present to my attendees, and it is always spectacular.  I am not a good public speaker due to short term memory problems that stem from a brain injury years ago--I cannot remember the details that I want to talk about.  And then there is the self-image problems that I experience from weight gain.  Who wants to attend a meeting led by a woman that cannot even keep her own program going?  I have shed tears over this negative thinking and have vowed to just stop and smell the roses.  Mostly I just keep on keeping on.  What more can I say?