WHY ARE WE HERE???...Kind of long

Hi all. I posted yesterday about my difficulties with my sleep lately and how the 16 minute drive home from work is usually a difficult one for me at 4 in the morning. There is rarely a night that goes by that I can't stay awake driving home. Last night was no exception. I stopped at a local convenience store before I got out of town and got coffee, I opened the windows and hoped for the best but to no avail. If a cop had seen me, I would have been pulled over for sure or worse...the unthinkable. I have had this problem for years. The first time was almost 20 years ago and was traveling on the interstate when I was headed for the median and the ditch when my passenger realized what was going on and grabbed the wheel. It scared the CRAP out of me!!! I could make this very long, but I will try not to. I have had this problem for years and even with the CPAP have had difficulty. Honestly, I have probably come close to death over a dozen times due to my nighttime driving sleepiness. Please don't flame me...I have been trying to get this under control and thankfully, it only happens overnight in the wee early hours of the morning when there is almost noone on the road. Mary Mc suggested yesterday in my post that God must be watching out for me or he would have let me wreck by now. I can't help but then wonder...WHY??? I am assuming he has bigger plans for me and that he is not finished with me yet. My next question logically would then have to be...what is his plan for me and why am I still around after all the close calls I have had?? WHY AM I STILL HERE?? Have you ever wondered that yourself?? I never thought about it until Mary opened my eyes and got me thinking...ya, ya, I know...a very dangerous situation!! For me, I guess the reason I am still here might be to help as many people as I can who want to help themselves. That includes my wife and kids. I don't think there is a better feeling when my kids come to me with a problem and I am able to help them. My daughter is almost a teenager and that is becoming more and more important now with all the teenage issues that come up. My son doesn't have a lot of friends and is a sensitive kid so I try to reassure him that we love him so much and will always be there for him. I love talking to you all here and can't describe the feeling I get when I help someone with a problem or make a suggestion that they like. Last week my new AMOS friend, Cheri A. told me I was her inspiration and I didn't even know her. I had only read a post or 2 from her on the board and just like that we accidentally meet at the surgeon's office where we both had this life saving surgery!! What are the odds...I live 2.5 hours away from that office and the two of us have never talked over the phone or face to face!! Coincidence...uh uh...I don't think so. I think there was a bigger reason for me being there that day and her too. It was so neat to meet someone who I have made such a big difference to. THANKS CHERI!!! Thank you to you all for being there for me and for all of us here on the board from day to day. There must be big plans for all of us here. So...Why do you think you are here?? I may not be able to respond today because of naptime (I need my beauty sleep before work) and work, but I will try to get back to you all sometime over the weekend. You all take care now and be good to yourselves and everyone around you. YOU ARE PART OF THE BIG PLAN!!!....K-Man

Ken, what a really great thought-provoking post. Certainly got me thinking. Please, please, please take care of yourself! I would hate to hear that something has happened to you. My husband works crazy hours like you too and he doesn't even tell me anymore about the times that he has fallen asleep behind the wheel because he knows that it will just break my heart. But you know the awful thing...his father was killed when he was 9 yrs old. You guessed it, because he fell asleep driving and hit a road sign. Killed him instantly. So again, please take care of yourself. Shel. P.S. Isn't Cherie great! I love her to death.

Hi Shelly!! I was so happy to see that you replied. I hope you are starting to feel a bit more normal now that it has been a few weeks. Man, it doesn't seem like it could be that long ago yet does it?? I am so sorry to hear about S's father. I have thought about that a lot and hate it when I get that tired, but I have to work and just try like hell to stay awake. Most nights I do alright. Thursday, I made a call to my old sleep doctor to get in for another appt. to see if there is something I can do about this. I want to see if I still need my CPAP and if I still have sleep apnea. I also will be seeing an Ear, Nose and Throat Dr. next month to have them take a look at my deviated septum in my right nostril. In case you don't know what that is, it is when the cartilage in your nose grows larger than it should, blocking of part or all of the nostril. Well, my right nostril is almost totally blocked and that might have something to do with my sleep apnea or my just not sleeping well anymore. If that is part of the problem, I am going to have it taken care of. It is a day surgery and I am not sure what all it entails but I will let you know when I find anything out. You take care now and drop me a line or call when you feel up to it!! Be good and take care...K-Man

Hey Ken, I saw this post out on the main board yesterday and though, OMG, somebody out here is going to go all-"just like driving Drunk," On you, and sure enough they did. I used to have rotating shift work back during Summer jobs at the Steel Mill when I was in college. I know that exhaustion driving routine. I used to roll down the windows and flap my arm out the driver's side. It sounds like yours is from not getting good sleep when you're In bed. Look into one of those "Temper-pedic" mattresses. Some folks swear by them for getting quality sleep. Even look into Melatonine. My father uses it regularly To get his abnormal insomnia under control. As for the "Why are We Here" question, I think it's not only our own journeys that we Are a part of, but rather, the "Collective Journey." Attempt to correct the mistakes of the past generation, Pass on value to the next, Make the whole a better place with each of our actions. Add our individual candles to the light of the world. I think of our physical lives as just a tiny portion of Our existence. I am a being of infinite life and power that have come To earth for this brief time to play in the space time Continuum. Later I'll return to a limitless existence not encumbered By trivial things such as gravity and the silly notion of Time. Check out the book- "The Power of Intention" by Dr. Dyers. Great way of looking at the power of spiritual life, Without the restrictions of a "religious" bent to it. Stay awake! Best Wishes- Dx

That is awesome Dx. Thanks and have a great weekend...K-Man