Thoughts of a ranting lunatic

I can't sleep so I thought I'd post. I need to update my profile and will do that soon. So many thoughts are running through my head. My date is 8/18 and I live 5 hrs. from the clinic & hospital (long story...not important). I have several appts. scheduled between now and the 18th but cannot just stay with my family up there because of obligations I have where I live. So it will be back and forth and back and forth, and I do not like to drive anymore. My concerns are with just about everything. I'm concerned about saggy skin, hair loss, nutrition (I know alot of that will be covered by the nutritionist), but the most concerning is how I will be able to handle school when the semester starts again 10 days post-op. Ugh! At least I'm a part time student and am only at school for 3-4 hrs a day. I turn 50 in a few months and am older than my instructors, but we enjoy the laugh. I'm more worried about school than anything else. I've worked too hard to postpone a semester. My joy of being approved a week ago dwindled quickly. I don't allow myself to feel emotions. Comes from battling depression for so many years. I had started to picture myself in skinny clothes but stopped it because I feel it is a bad omen. And yes, I will be seeing my therapist soon. Well, I think I'm done ranting now and will try to sleep again. Blessings! Cindy

Hey, Cindy, Why do we worry about the bad omens? My neighbor/friend wants me to join him at the support group in Wausau and I'm afraid if I go before I have my date that I'll jinx it. I don't want to buy anything ahead of time because that might screw it up. (Not in the food or liquid line since I know from reading here not to stock up.) And I can't even picture myself skinny! I've never been so don't have anything to go by. Lowest in adult life was 175 and had to work like a horse, basicly starve and exercise (I walked 4 miles a day which I got to love, then got addicted) to get there and added 100 lbs. in the last 10 years. I would get SO depressed, but there was more to it than weight. I've got a couple friends *****ally support me, helps tremendously. But look at you, going to school! That is a courageous thing to do, I believe. Or maybe your mental abilities far outshine mine! (I'm hitting the memory lapse stage that I blame on pre-menopause.) Hope you got some sleep! Best, Janice

Cindy, I know about the emotional roller coaster & all of the negative thoughts it can cause. You need to step back and think to your self why did I want this surgery in the first place, then focus all of your energy on positive thoughts and your personal goals post-op whatever they may be. If it is any consulation My Sister had WLS a month ago and she was ridng her bike several miles a day 10 days post-op. She tells me you find renewed energy and feel like you can accomplish anything. I beleive her too I can see a huge diffrent in energy levels and positive mood changes. I am sure you will experience the same results. Skip all of the worring untill the 18th. focus on the positive changes your striving for and most of all embrace life. School will be no problem for you I am sure as it is part time. Congrats on your approval again and Many prayers comming your way for a quick recovery and new you. Pj Manning

Hey sweetheart!!! I hear you. I have btdt -- just 4 weeks ago. Those few weeks before surgery are the worse. You will be sore and tired going to school. But take it one day at a time!! Go to the website. Visit often..there are a GREAT group of gals (and a male or two) I am not 50 nor even close. But I love them to pieces. They can be of great support to you!! http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/amosforums/over_50/posts/ Take a picture of yourself NOW so you have something to "compare" to and see your small successes turn into big!! Just think a month from now you will be recovering. Six weeks from now you will be down 10-30 or more lbs and it will be so worth it. it isn't easy. I know!!! But worth it!! Love, Gala who lives in Dodgeville!!! So if you ever want to get together let me know.