I need to vent

Hi! I am new to the sight. I am in the process of pre quilifing, and had a verbal "No" from WPS-Insurtec. The fight begins. My journey began with an epiphany. It was last winter and I had just celebrated my 50th birthday. Gulp. My family surprised me with a sit down dinner for 35 of my closest friends and family. It was a wonderful party. My oldest daughter planned this so I wouldn't plan a going away party for her. She was leaving us to move to LA with her boyfriend. I planned a special day anyway, but just for her and her younger sister, me and her dad. This included a day at the hairdressers for all, then family portraits and a fancy dinner. While we waited for the pictures to be ready, some photo's from my birthday bash were picked up. Shock!!! I know the camera's were flashing, but from all angles? Like most overweight people, I have an unnatural opinion of what I look like. Nice friendly face, great hair, great teeth, nice hands and I don't see much else. The 360 degree view was more than I expected. Then the formal photo's were ready. Oh my God! I spoiled every shot. This was the last chance I had for pictures of my family for who knows how long. I was devastated. Would you believe that I had them crop one shot so that my big rear end was removed? The winter was already long, and looking at the family photo was depressing on a few levels. I decided I could only go in one of two directions. I could either fight the fat with everything I got or ask my doctor for a handicapped parking permit and plan an early retirement.