Pre-Op Spousal Issues

How is everyone's spouses handling the idea and preparation for surgery? My wife is definitely trying to support me, but her & I both know she does not want this surgery to take place. For example, when we go grocery shopping now, I look at foods, protein supplements, and other stuff I'll need to eat post-op. At the same time, she points out foods she knows I love and will most likely never be able to eat again. She's trying, but it's difficult for her to accept the idea that cutting me open will be a positive thing in my life. Any comments or suggestions?

Hi Chris. I feel thankful cuz my hubby was super supportive and he didnt make comments or try to stop me once my mind was made up. He basically took a back seat. However, on the day of surgery he was VERY nervous and anxious because he knows the risks are there with this surgery (I had an open DS). In the end it all worked out and I am almost 9 weeks post op now. My suggestion for what it is worth, is to sit down (with no interruputions) with your wife and tell her how her behaviour is making you feel. Explain that her support is very important and that you dont want to sabotage your chances of being a healthier, happier you. OK, I know this sounds fluffy but really I think it may make a difference. If I can ask, does your wife struggle with her weight? If so or if she feels like she may be inadequate after you 'get skinny' you may want to reassure her that you want to be with her and that you love her. Hope that helps a bit. Let us know how it goes! ~Debby

Chris, I wish you the best of luck in what seems like a difficult situation. Fortunately, I am not in the same situation and have a very supportive husband. Honesty and communication is all I can advise. Not eating everything you may want to is a very small sacrifice compared to all of the wonderful benefits this surgery can bring. You just have to make up your mind to do the right thing and if she has a problem with it then that is her problem, don't make it yours. Good luck!!!! p.s. Since surgery, I have not had any appetite or desire for my favorite foods so it may not be as hard as you think.