Telling Mom about Surgery

I'm 52 and my mom and dad are 69 and 72 yrs old.  I don't know if I should tell them about the surgery until after it is done.  My parents are having a very difficult time since my brother 36 yrs old was killed in a car accident at the end of January. They have always been worriers but this would be difficult for them and they will worrry that they will lose me.  Would it be wrong not to tell them beforehand, they worry about me too much already. I will probably meet the ins requirements in August, so I have time to consider this. Thanks  Deana

Wow Dee....that's a hard question to answer.  I wish you luck in this decision.   I don't know what I would do, but please take into consideration that if something were to go wrong and they were called to the hospital or something, how would that make them feel in knowing you didn't think you could tell them?  I know parents worry....all of them do.  And you're right, it would be harder having just lost their son.  But I would have to be honest.  And when and if you do tell them, go in with all of the reasons you want to do this, and what it will mean for your health and longevity of life.  Morbid obesity is a killer....people that aren't, don't realize that. Good luck on your decision. 

Thanks for the reply, after I posted the message, my brain clicked and I realized that I would have to tell them beforehand, just in case there were complications or worse. I appreciate the advise and realize that if I have the reasons down on why this is needed, they will understand. This has been such a difficult decision.

I asked myself the same thing and I really didn't want to tell my mom. I am still in the process of trying to get financed for the lapband. I considered that if something happened I would not have said I love you and she would have been hurt that I had not shared my decision with her. I am also considering having my procedure done in Mexico and would be leaving my children in her care. I have shared my hopes of having the surgery and as I suspected she doesn't want me to and definitely does not want me to go to Mexico to have it done. I can't change her mind, I can only do what is right for me. I still feel better having shared my decision with her. I think whatever you decide will be best for you...best wishes!!