Depression

I have to say that I am very happy with my new body. But, I'm going through depression. A husband that doesn't talk to me. A husband that doesn't want me. What do I do with that? I don't know what to do. I want to be wanted and needed. I don't know what to do. HELP Arlene

Awwwwww Arlene, I wish I had advice for you. All I can suggest is maybe some counseling for either just you or the both of you. I do know that sometimes it is VERY hard to get men to go to counseling. I am not an advocate of divorce or splitting up, but maybe a separation is what you need. Maybe some time alone to reflect and see what it is that you want out of this life and your new "self", and also some time to let him reflect and see what he is losing if he does not straighten up. I will be praying for you, as I know this must be a terribly difficult situation for you. Please call me any time. I would love to go out and get a drink or just get together and share some cheese sticks *giggle* Please take care, and let me know how you are doing. DO NOT be afraid to call me and ask for help. I am here for you!!! Always, Laura

P.S. If you are feeling REALLY depressed, then I would go to my PCP and ask for something to help you through this time. I take Lexapro and it helps me immensely. I started suffering from depression about 3 months ago, and had no clue why, I just was. So, I went in and they gave me Lexapro, and I feel 100 times better. So, that would be one other suggestion I would have. Of course, I am a pill pusher, and if there is a pill to fix what ails me, sign me up *giggle* Take care sweetie! Laura

I just don't get it. He was one of the most supportive husbands I have seen. And, you two showed all of the signs of making it through this life change together. Something must be going on with him. I take it that you have tried everything to get him to open up to you and nothing has worked. I know that sometimes the person that had the surgery changes. But, I don't think that anyone here would say that you have changed. Your still the sweet person you always were. And, since you alway are there for everyone to lean on, I doubt he could claim that you were ignoring him. I am so frustrated for you. We have been close to divorce so many times, that I can't count them all. Some of my weight issues stem from that. I stayed for various reasons over the years. But, the damage I did to myself was horrible. Even today, I can't say if it was worth it or not. So, I am not one to take advice from. Even so, I am going to give some. I would never tell anyone to walk away from a marriage except under extreme cir****tances. But, I do want to say that I hope you don't let this eat you up. I agree that you should go to the doc and see if they can give you some happy pills. Then, with a clear head, take a look at your life. Is it what you want? What you need? What you deserve? Can you accept the lift he offers? We all know you can't change him. He will probably always be a homebody. But, ignoring you is a whole other book. If he isn't willing to try and give you what you deserve, then how much of yourself are you willing to give up? What is your gut telling you? Oh ((Arlene)), I wish I could ease your pain. This is just so unfair. Hat

Arlene! Wow, I really am almost at a loss for words. But you know me...so here are a few words for you sweety: Here is a little poem about your situation: Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low. -- Henry Ward Beecher What I would like to share with you is best confided in person and not online but I just would like to send you a big hug! Oh my goodness, I think I really have an inkling of what you are feeling and it is not fun. All people want, if they are totally honest with themselves, is unfailing love! It really sounds like you are missing fulfilment of the companionship you need so badly. Let's talk sometime. My new phone number is 253-882-5391 and I am so glad to have a local number now! We have to sit down and visit soon girl! Are you going to Barnes and Noble on Thurs? I am not sure yet if I can come! hugs, Molly