Small PS Update and long ramble on other things

There is nothing to report. Absolutely nothing. I saw the PS at the beginning of May. He promised that they would send in the paperwork the following Monday. Four weeks later they say they are sending it in that day when I call them. Now, three weeks later, they still haven't made a move. Last week I called them again and told them that Triwest was requesting that they resubmit the paperwork. That was on a Tuesday. As of today, Triwest repots that nothng has been received. At the end of this month, I have an appointment with a different PS. I have decided that I will go to that appointment even though I have to pay $70 for the appointment. I'll just pay it and turn it in to Triwest to pay me back. If they do, good. If not, then oh well. I am bouncing between accepting my body the way it is and coughing up the money. Like I said before, we are hardly making it financially. But, I know if I want it bad enough, I will find a way. As far as my body goes, I am happy with it until the clothes come off. Then everything falls. Emotionally it is hard to look down and see that extra skin. Plus, there are some issues. The skin is starting to give me problems now that it is warmer. Plus, my breasts are constantly messed up. It is hard to imagine until you get to this point. But, when I put my bra on, it is a combination of rolling up and turning in on itself. And, sometimes it gets twisted and cuts off circulation. Plus, they are always wet when I set them free. On the other fronts, the barfing continues. Sometimes I feel like I could eat an entire cow. Then, other times like an hour ago, I am back to barfing my brains out with a small amount of food. Fried foods don't make me dump. But, greasy foods do. Dumping isn't all that bad. At least I get a good nap out of it after the barfing stops. I also have to watch my blood sugar. At least I guess that is what the problem is. Sometimes I turn pale and get the shakes. If I am at work, I trie and hide it. But, others can see it. Usually eating something helps. But, it knocks me out of commision for about an hour. I really hate that feeling. does anyone else have trouble shaving their arm pits? Mine are now sunken in so much that the razor is too big to get in. I really have to work the angles and usually miss sections. Seems like a funny problem to have, doesn't it? That should be enough for now. I have a couple of emails to asnwer and thn it is off to bed. I think the meat I ate was too greasy. I am still barfing a bit, but the need for sleep has set in. To all of the newbies, I wish I had more time to get to know you all. OH is a great tool. For me, it is as improtant as exercising. Speaking of exercising, I have started again. I got up at 5 this moring and worked out. It is amazing how much easier it is without the extra 100+ pound working against me. To my old friends, how about an update. I know everyone is busy especially with summer here and some of you preparing for a move. But, pleast take a moment to check in and say hi. Hat PS please excuss the typos and bad spelling. I am too tired to proof.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you on your PS. I have my first consult next month in Seattle with Dr. Dry. And YES, my armpits are a horrible to shave, I laugh everythime trying to figure out how to get it all. Mine are very sunk in around my Pec muscles. Behind my knees I have to pull the skin tight to get it all too. Simple things that make you go wow I lost this much. Keep your chin up, you've done awesome, not and easy road but you have traveled it with grace and inspired and helped others. maria

Hi, Hat, Glad to know you are doing well in most things. I have only lost 94 or so pounds. I plateaued at 8 months out and have felt down because I thought I had a good year or so to be able to lose. I haven't gained, though. I have had trouble with urinary infections, which has always been a problem, but seems like extra skin might be problematic. I have a 2nd bladder stress test next week to see if they might redo the urethral sling that broke when I was at my heaviest. My one year anniversary is next week, the 23rd. I had so hoped I'd make it to the century club. So close, but not quite there. I am able to do so much more than I did, though I feel tired much of the time, so don't get the exercise I should. Fibromyalgia might be at the root of some of that trouble. I seem to have gotten chunky in the middle and bottom, though my legs and arms are not as big as before, and, yes, I have trouble getting all the armpit hair LOL. I also have another umbilical hernia, but so far, it's not huge, so that one may have to wait. thanks LMy

Hey Hat!! I sooo hope that you hear something soon - I'm anxious to know how your appt went yesterday. I know what you mean about going back and forth on self perception and body acceptance. I do the same thing. I am not yet at goal, so I hold off on setting any lasting perception of my body or decision on plastics. I look great in clothes. Some parts of my body don't look as bad as I expected, like my tummy. It looks bad, just not AS bad as I anticipated. Others are hard for me to accept, legs and arms, Oh, and my tits - or what used to be my tits. While I might not love the way I look... I do LOVE the way I feel! If nothing ever changes, I can be happy here. Interesting observation: I have noticed that as my WL slows and I stay at each weight a little longer, my body looks better the longer it's been at that weight or size. Things seem to shift for the better or something. The differences are subtle and likely only perceivable by me. Perhaps it's my body catching up with the changes, I dunno. At first I was thrilled to have armpits again... but you are right, arm-flats are much easier to shave. The excess arm skin adds to the difficulty in shaving, too. I feel so bad that you still barf. That just stinks. You are so far out at this point. Is there still hope that it will abate? Dang. I don't envy you in that regard, but you have done so well in your WL and life changes -- those things are inspiring to me! I am down 127 lbs. 11 lbs from goal. Then I'll be "half the woman I was before!" Still in a size 10 - shooting for an 8. I am regularly training for the Danskin Triathlon, thinking about doing the Reebok in September. I love swimming the best and intend to join a swim team in the fall/winter. I hope to have surgery on my varicose veins in October. I eat around 1100 calories a day, I guess, sometimes less, sometimes more. I still do not eat potatoes, pasta, rice or bread. No carbonated beverages or sugary foods, either. Lunch meats, cheese, beans, tuna, cottage cheese, salad and more cheese are my primary staples. I LOVE string cheese. I do not dump. I still throw up every now and then, but it's usually b/c I ate too fast, too much or didn't chew well. I don't eat much chicken as I never know if it is going to make me sick or not. My face is starting to look a little hmmm... what's the right word... gaunt, boney? It just has older look about it. I'm getting over myself tho and am not going to think about it much. I can double cross my legs! I think that covers the bulk of the news with me. I wish we could all meet at B&N again! Take care and let us know how your PS journey moves along! Nan RNY - Medial 09/16/04 276/149/138