Checking in...

Well, turns out I didn't dump as I though I had earlier, it was just that food got stuck. Man, I know to chew up good now! I guess when I pureed my cottage cheese I didn't do it well enough. I tried it the next day but pureed it until it was a sour cream consistency and did fine with it. Anyway, onto what's up now. The last 2 weeks or so have been rough. I've been extremely emotional, tired, and just awful. I would sway from furious to ready to cry to crying to wanting to sleep and everything in between. I was so not ready for those emotions. I heard about them and I knew about them but it is something else completely to experience it. I am now feeling much more 'even' I guess is a good way to say it. I'm feeling happier, more energetic, and not so weepy, etc. Another thing that I was knowledgeable of but was tremendously different to experience was the way I had to eat. I knew that I'd have to puree everything but I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. I thought I would just throw everything in the blender and VIOLA no problems! I also thought I'd just throw protein powder in everything and NO PROBLEM! I'd have my protein in for the day with no worries. But the texture of the food is something all together different. Pureeing things gives it a really gross texture. It tastes fine, but the texture is really hard to handle. Same with the protein powder. The unflavored stuff is okay (it does have a slight taste) but again, the texture gives things a very different texture. It makes it difficult. That, plus the fact that it is really hard to get it the amount in that I need for the day. Now, being 2-1/2 weeks out, I'm getting in pretty much 60+ ounces of water/day (which is what my doc recommends) and getting pretty close to 60 grams of protein/day. It definitely is taking a lot more adjustment than I expected. Well, like I said, I expected it, but putting it into practice is more difficult than I expected. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm now finally starting to get my energy back which I'm grateful for. I'm still having really strong cravings. It's sooooo hard not being able to eat anything. How long do the cravings last? They're the most difficult thing to deal with. I have this tremendous fear that as soon as I'm able to eat again I'm going to eat all the wrong things. I go out into town and every fast food or restaurant that I pass I start fantasizing about the food within the establishment (LOL). I see commercials and I'm craving. I go into my kitchen and I'm craving. That is my biggest obstacle right now is to really rearrange my thinking about food. I have these next few weeks to get a good food plan in order. Dr. Weber's nurse said that we should have 3 servings of fruit, veggies, dairy, etc. per day. No way I can do that now, but maybe at some point. Another thing going on is I actually DO feel hunger. I know that many people don't but I honestly and truly do. I can feel the actual emptiness within my stomach. That's interesting, too. If I eat every 3 hours like I'm supposed to (which I don't always feel like doing, though) it's not too bad. I don't feel like I'm losing any weight. I came home from my surgeon's office last week when I weighed 309 and on MY scale I was 308 (I wanted to compare them). After a few days I was 310 and stayed there for a few days. I've not weighed since. I was ticked. I just don't feel or see any change in my body yet. My clothes still fit me exactly the same. Hopefully I will see some change soon. I am exercising. Not 45 minutes every day. I'm doing 45 minutes probably 3 days a week and 30 minutes 3 days a week. I'm just now feeling like I can actually do 45 minutes in one day. Until next time... Michelle

Oh Michelle, hang in there sweetie, this too shall pass. I experienced pretty much everything you have described, only I never had to do the pureed food stage. My doctor believes in a 4 week liquid diet, and then on to regular foods, but chewed to a pureed consistency. I had all the cravings, to the point where I did chew and spit a few things, but I felt really gross doing that, so I did not do it very much. I am VERY PROUD of your exercising...WOW, that is great that you are getting in so much exercise already. I need to take your example, as I still have yet to exercise, other than taking the dog for a walk about 3 times a week. DO NOT worry about the scale (looking in the mirror as I say this). Do measurements of your body, write them down, and keep track. You will probably see more noticeable movement in your measurements before the scale starts moving. I noticed that my measurements would drop, and then BAM all of a sudden 3 or 4 pounds would be gone in a day. So it will happen. I too struggle daily with the dadgum scale. I have kicked it several times in the last few weeks. I am REALLY struggling with the last 7 pounds I have to lose. They are hanging on for dear life. As far as protein, I am going to suggest a protein I just found. If you go to protica.com, they have a 2.7 ounce protein "drink" that has 25 grams of protein in it. I can take it in 3 swallows. It tastes pretty good, and it does not make me feel yucky. I hate protein supplements, but this one is okay. It is pretty pricey, but you can get 1 sample for 3.41 and it will give you an idea of what it is. All I can say is Keep on Keeping on Girl, you are gonna do great Hugs to you! Laura 203/125/120 (maybe 115 I keep changing it depending on the day)...LOL

Michelle, I have so much to say. And, no time to write right now. But, email me your phone number and I'll give you a call later today when I have time. Hat