FUNNY...You Know You've Had WLS When

This is from the main board and TOO funny! You Know When You've Had WLS When..... *I have a date" does not mean your going out. *You have baby food in the house and no baby. * "I'm a loser" is a good thing. * All of your silverware says Gerber. * A wooden spoon isn't just for cooking. * "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death. * New clothes fall off in a week. * You get excited about hand me downs. * The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time please". * Going bald and getting wrinkles is a good thing. * "Jus****er for me please". * Hitting the "Century Mark" is actually a good thing. * You can be touched by an angel and still not be considered crazy. * When your rear end no longer looks like a mudslide. * When you get excited that your incision was "only 6 inches". * When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club. * Other women are calling you "*****" behind your back. * When you are glared at in the plus size department because you don't "belong there". * When you really don't have a thing to wear. * You have to prove you are the person on the drivers license. * You start being in the pictures not behind the camera. * You want to hug everyone fat and hand them your surgeons card. * You are never parted from a bottle of water * When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal. * Being too small for your britches. * When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up, position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder. * When you go pick up your child at school and all the other kids say WOW you're mom is hot. * When you got to the mall a take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door. * You truly are a "cheap date". * When one drink makes you flipping floozy! * When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound. * You flip your shirt to show complete strangers your scar. * Vitamins feel like a meal. * You go from a 56DDDD to 32AAA in a year and didn't have a breast reduction. * You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did you change your hair?" * You can cross your legs... both of them * Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra * When your obsession from food turns to your scale. * They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a turnstile. * No more velcro shoes * Tongs are no longer to fry chicken. * "Checking for leaks" no longer includes your panties * When your stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables * Your mother says "You don't eat enough" * When your doctor looks you in the eye and says "I know you will have sucess with this." * Having sex your husband complains that your hip bones are poking him. * You can wear corderoy pants without igniting a fire * When you wave and your upper arms wave back * You safety pin your underwear * Someone phones and thinks your husband is sneaking around with some skinny mistress * Cannot blame the cat for shedding * Cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card * 3 Lean Cuisines a week and thats your total grocery purchase * The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god..did he die???

That is hilarious! Dare I ask this? I know I'm pretty naive sometimes. But what else is a wooden spoon used for? Love Diana

Thanks for the e-mail. I was wondering if it had something to do with that part of the anatomy.

OMG! I could relate to almost everyone of these. I wanted to so much to respond to each of them. And, I just might. I am trying my best to hide from unpacking all of those nasty boxes. I keep slipping in the computer room, but they keep calling me back. Anyway, that was way too funny...and TOO real in some cases. Thanks for posting. I never get over to the main board. Hat

So true! -Gerriann 165 pounds gone forever!

Priceless.... I haven't had my surgery yet, but understand most of these. By the way... what is a wooden spoon used for? Thanks for the fun WLS thoughts... I love your photo. Melinda Seattle