Need encouragement

HI Nancy it's Lorie...I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Dr. Weber might be a great surgern but has the bed side manner of a cow. No feelings. He's my Dr. too. I go see him next week. You need to remember that you did not fail. You are the only person that knows your body. You were very adiment about exersizing before surgery. 30 pounds is better than I did. I lost 22 pounds. He kept telling me I had to walk weather I felt like it or not. Throwing u*****t. You ARE going to make it. in a month or so you are going to laugh at all this. Yes you see a Doctor but you need to do what is best for you. I am so proud to be your friend and to know you Nancy.I promise, by 9 months your going to loose so much weight you are just going to feel so good about yourself. If you want lets not wait for the next meeting, lets get together as soon as you can ok? Nancy you know the Lord and you know He will not fail you... Love you Lorie

Lorie!! You are a doll! Thank you soooo much. I LOLed at the 'bedside manner of a cow' thing! It's so true! I console myself that I didn't select him b/c of his personality, people skills or his bedside manner. I selected him b/c of his record and success. And I am pleased in that regard. I sincerely feel that my insides were rearranged by a pro. But geez! Thank you, Lorie! How blessed I am to know you. Yes, lets get together! Would you be interested in getting in a walk and visit? Email or call me. Hugs and love... nan

This could have been me writing this except that he didn't give me a hard time for my weight lose. You might remember how much trouble I had getting him to treat me for my stricture. Never mind that I was having to go to the hospital for dehydration. And, I never once talked to him directly when I was sick. During my last appointment, he said that the good thing about having a stricture was I couldn't eat. Never mind that my calories at that point were ranging between 86 and 270 a day. I have to wonder if he would be happy if I wasn't eating anything. And, I think this is why seeing a nutritionist is so important. He also spent more of my appointment explaining the surgery to the intern than talking to me. When I spoke up one time and told him that my pouch was about 2 ounces, he was mad that I even knew that. He asked me why I was pushing my pouch to figure out the size. I hadn't actually pushed my pouch. I just knew how much I could eat of ultra soft food. Most of the time, I can only eat one ounce. Then he said that my pouch couldn't be that big and it was probably just food getting backed up before it entered the pouch. I wished I hadn't mentioned it. But, I did because my nutritionist thought my pouch would be about 4 oz by now. I always try and get the first appointment of the afternoon to try and cut down on the wait. And, I take the boys with me. That usually helps to get rushed through. I left DH out in the lobby this last time with the boys. He had a great time sharing stories with everyone else. I think it is crazy that he made you feel like a failure. I had lost only 32 or 33 pounds at 6 weeks. Now at three months, I am down about 65 pounds. I know how hard it can be when others have dropped that much in half the time. But, I try and remind myself that I am not a failure. They are just lucky. Hey, you and I are not failures. We are losers. Can I ask why you don't want your stricture treated? Do you think it has negatively impacted your weight lose? Are you throwing up much? If you are, have you gotten to the point where you would just rather not eat? I have. Oh, and do they have any idea how big your stoma opening is? Hat

Hat - thank you! I wish you lived closer. I'd love to meet you in person. I remember reading your accounts of the stricture and dehydration!! I was disappointed for you and thought how alone I would feel if I were in your spot. I felt the same way about his take on the calories - no caloric intake was too low. That seemed to be his attitude about food intake in general. He seemed disinterested on the topic of protein!! I only have so many appt where I'll have to endure him, right? I just started throwing up these last few weeks. I am doing somewhat better in that department. I'm not throwup enough to be concerned about it - but I'm aware and paying attention. At the worst, it was only once a day. I retain most fluids and nutrition. Occassionally, I lose it if I am over full or explore foods I oughtn't. Usually, tho, it is vitamins or meds I swallow. That's the reason I brought it up in the first place. I told him that I break my pill into little matchhead size peices. It is evident that my tummy can not yet handle that size chunk. He said that it is likely that my stoma is swollen and he'd wait to see if it needed to be fixed. He did imply that it would be a good deterrent to eating (or keeping down?) less food. I do find that it is often several hours after hurling before I want to put anything (water included) into my tummy again. So those days I consume less. If, as I progress to real foods it occur more often, I will be sure to watch for dehydration and get a call into him! You are right - we are LOSERS! Thank you soooooo much for your understanding. I appreciate your help. I know that there is a big DrW fan club out there. I respect the man as a surgeon. But I am releived that I am not alone in thinking he has a few areas needing improvement! Hugs!!!! An a big THNK YOU!! Nancy

Oh, Nan, I'm so sorry! I've been concerned about you, since I haven't seen you posting in a few days. Did you get the voicemail I left you the other evening? (I know, sometimes with several young people in the household, messages don't always get conveyed to the recipient!) Anyway, I think you're doing great. I'm sorry for your experience with your doc. Reading the advice about seeking aftercare elsewhere, I guess I'm not sure how that would work -- but if God leads you to seek other medical advice, he'll also show you who and how. He has been leading you step by step, and He'll keep being there for you each day. Lori's suggestion of getting together was great! I'm here for you, too -- although since I haven't been through it yet, I can't offer the same perspective. Anyway, the next three days I'm available, and perhaps the three of us could set up something. (Tuesday I report in to VM @ 6:30 am.) Call me, and take care, Susan

My hubby just told me this morning that you called. You are right - messages do not always get thru in a timely manner! Thanks so much for posting! I can't believe all the support I have gotten! I have been thinking about and praying for you - knowing that your time is almost here! I would definately like to chat before you go in. I wish I didn't have so much scheduled between now and tuesday I'd love to see you before hand. I can't remember if Hunter does a bowel prep or a preop liquid diet before surgery. What are your days looking like? I am anxious to hear about how YOU are doing! I'll be sure to see you in the hospital, my dear friend! Love, Nan

Monday is full liquid, prep in the afternoon. In one of your responses in this chain, you mentioned breaking up your pills. I'm concerned about the medications I take, and how I will get them down. They told me to cru**** (that's what Terry told me she had to do -- and then it tastes so bad). But if they are tiny pills, and you just swallow them, does that not work? or do you have to crush them because they won't dissolve in the new pouch? I don't really understand yet about my medications, and the two most critical are for high blood pressure, and edema. I tried to get answers from my PCP's office, and they were a little put out with me -- said their other patients didn't have problems. Another question -- what vitamins are you using? Please take care -- you're on the right track -- you certainly ARE NOT a FAILURE! From my pre-op perspective, I picture the journey as hiking down a mountain. It took a VERY LONG time to get up to the peak (of our weight), and the downward journey is not accomplished overnight. Sometimes when hiking down a mountain, the trail meanders through a valley, and may even have upward ridges at times, but the overall trail is descending DOWN the MOUNTAIN. From the peak where you started, you've traveled significantly down your trail. In Him, Susan

Thank you for that great illustration! It's perfect -- i need to keep it in mind. I have a med that I cru**** doesn't taste so bad. Taste your bigger pills - they may not be so bad. Once when I had to take tylenol, I crushed it and it tasted horrible. I mixed it with a spoonful of pudding or something and swallowed as best as I could without tasting. The little pills that I do swallow I break up in to tiny peices. I haven't tasted them - they are so small and easy to break. I don't think crushing is for absorbtion as much as it is getting it in. Bring your meds with you to the hospital, the nurses will help you get the answer! :D Nancy

Hi Nancy, I just wanted to send you a big hug. I haven't had my surgery yet but I'm feeling your pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you for strength to see you through this and you will get thru this. Arlene

Thank you sooooo much Arlene! I am so thankful for all the support I have gotten on the boards. Keep in touch! Nancy