OT: Need some opinions... Phoenix vs. Seattle vs. California

Right now I live in Ohio. I have lived here all my life. I absolutely hate it here and I am so sick of it.   My wife and I have had plans to move out of state for awhile now.  The plan has been to move to Phoenix next summer.  My brother lives there and I would love to be closer to him.  Plus we wanna move somewhere that it doesn't snow very much.  Cost of living in Phoenix is similar to here in Cleveland.  Here's the problem, Phoenix is a red state and gay marriage is not legal there.  My wife and I were married in Canada last year so our marriage is not legal here in the states. 

We are rethinking our plans and don't want to take a step back by moving to a red state with no LGBT equality.

Out of all the states where gay marriage is legal...there are only 2 in which it doesn't snow alot.  California and Washington.  California is OUT!!  Cost of living is way too expensive there otherwise that would be our first choice.  We have both visited California before and LOVE IT but toooooo expensive!!  So that leaves Washington.  If we moved to Seattle we could get legally married and have the same rights as heterosexuals couples.  It would be so nice to have equality. Problem is that we don't know anyone there and it would be an all new experience.  I'm all up for that but it would be scary at the same time. 

We have a fantastic relationship. Been together for almost 6 years and no problems in our relationship at all.  I'm not afraid to move thousands of miles away with her but we are both nervous about not knowing anyone out there.  Plus we have never even visited Washington.  We have seen lots of pics!  LOL :) Visiting is not a possibilty.  Long story short, if we move to Seattle we will not be able to visit first.  It will be a blind move. I would go out there to get a job and find someplace to live first but that would be my first visit out there.  That kinda scares me.

I am an RN so i am not concerned about finding a job anywhere.  RN's are pretty much in high demand everywhere. 

So does anyone here live in Washington or know anyone who does? What's your opinion on the state?  Anyone make a huge move to the unknown?  How did it go?  I'm just curious to hear others opinions.  We have been talking to our friends and family and of course everyone is talking about how far away it is.

I know this is probably a very hard and scary decision for both you and your wife.  Times are changing everyday and my opinion is sooner or later many more states will permit your marriage.  How disappointed would you be if you moved to Washington then later Phoenix passes approval on your marriage.  I think there is a lot to think about with moving.  Where would you be more comfortable?  Would that state not allowing same sex marriage affect your relationship?  You both know you love each other and although it would be great to have the state you choose be with you on your marriage, in your hearts does it really matter?  I hope I am not sounding uncaring because that's not what I mean.  I have lived with my fiancee for 9 yrs, we can't get married because he was born with a heart defect and is on disability, if we get married he loses that (and that would suck for us because he is not allowed to work).  I suggest you do a Big Pros and Cons list and just keep weighing out what your best decision is.  Best wishes for you and your wife where ever you decide to move.

Hello, 

I do live in Washington on the Olympic peninsula, which is a couple hrs from Seattle. This state is somewhat same sex friendly, however I am heterosexual so haven't personal experience. But I do see advertisements for many activities for gay adults. I am sure you would feel welcome. Seattle weather is very rainy and gray a large part of the year. You really appreciate the sunshine when it is here. It does snow a little most winters, but never really lasts long nor is very deep. Traffic in Seattle is a bear, and the reason I moved here 20 yrs ago. If you would like more info, just email me.  

n2sleeve

I've lived in WA for most of my life, but I did live in AZ, NJ, CA, GA and VA as well.  I love it hear, but home is always home, you know what I mean.  There is a great LGBT community here and the weather would probably be an improvement compared to the extreme climates you are used to.  However, it does rain her a lot (which I love) and when it's not raining there can me many days in a row where it's grey.  I've lived east and even in the winter the sky is blue. Winters here are pretty cloudy...always.  But the summers are glorious (I think we appreciate the sun more than most because we don't see it for long periods).

It's not cheap to live here.  Seattle and the surrounding suburbs are spendy and apartments are in high demand right now because there is a shortage of homes for sale.  If you are willing to commute a distance you can find less expensive living.  I live way out at the base of the Cascade mountains but my commute is only 45min.-1 hour. I say only but that may sound crazy to you!  

I think you would enjoy living here, but the weather and the cost are two important things to research thoroughly.

Best of luck!

Lisa O. 

My commute now to work is about 45 minutes and I am fine with it. Do you know of any smaller suburbs that are safe to live in near Tacoma or Seattle? I've been doing so much research and I'm excited about the idea of moving. We are leaning more towards Washington as of right now. Thank you!!