I want everyone 2 know.....PLEASE READ!!!!!!!!

Hello all. I want everyone to read this email... I am very hurt and I feel very violated. I had this person as a friend on yahoo messenger and OH. I was chatting with this person and explaining my Pain from yesterday and today. I asked this person to read my OH profile and it states that my horrendous pain is from wearing a Binder yesterday. This person was so concerned that he/she figured calling my Hospital and giving them my name and he/she told me what they said.  The reason I feel so violated is because I felt that he/she was befriending me and I him/her. He/she asked me my last name, after telling me theirs. Then apparently he/she called my hospital and telling them them that I am having this horrendous pain for the last 11 days....OMG. I told this person that the pain is from wearing the binder yesterday and I have my 2 week-post op appt tomorrow and That I was told on Friday, that the left-hand side pain that I had been experiencing where I had to hold up my stomach to walk was most likely a collection of blood or fluid that will disapate eventually. That the ER will most likely not do anything. I mentioned that too. Here is the OH email this person sent me and what I sent as a reply:

Date Sent:	November 9, 2008 - 4:24pm
To:	"""""""""
Subject:	RE: I apologize
""""""", DO YOU REALIZE THAT CALLING THE HOSPITAL WAS NOT COOL!! I AM A GROWN WOMAN AND I HAVE CALLED THEM. i KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH MY HEALTH AND MY LIFE. I TOLD YOU I CALLED THEM AND WHAT THEY TOLD ME AND WHAT I AM DOING. I FEEL BETRAYED. PLUS YOU DONT UNDER STAND.......dID YOU REad my last posting. I stated" this horendous pain started yesterday after the binder", not for the last 11 days!!!!!  I dont appreciate you befriending me and getting my last name to use it. I dont care in which way you used it, but it was wrong. I am not a very trusting person and I was trying to be friends with you. I feel bad for this, but i think it is best , that we dont talk or chat for awhile. I dont need to be angry or agitated in my condition. """""""wrote: you will not die... just that I'm very concerned about you being in so much pain   at a 25 out of 1 to 10....for the past 11 days?!  i'm just shocked....  i'm very sorry   i will not bother you anymore but i'm here .... ~"""""""

I am not a very trusting person. I have had people do me so wrong in the past. It took alot of trust for me to give this person my last name..... I didnt think this person would go behind my back and call my hospital. I have Identity Theft and even a woman using my name and I had warrents for my arrest. I dont appreciate it. I dont this this person had BAD intentions, yet it was wrong.

I am in horrible pain and I am hurt and agitatted to say the least. I wanted to share this with my OH family. I wanted  people to understand why I will be very distant with people and not make friends.

Thank you for reading and understanding.

SUNNY>>>>>no last name!

Sunny,
I am sorry to hear this happened. I would feel the same if something like that happened to me... very violated to say the least. I'm sure the person just has a very, very big heart and cares so much for you as their new friend that they called on your behalf... but IMHO, that's crossing the line.

I hate to think that this would keep you from making friends with genuine, trusting folks here on OH... but completely respect your decision.

Wow.  I am sorry that this happened.  You said you didn't think that this person had bad intentions and I hope she learned something about boundaries.  On the other hand I read your profile and understand why whomever it was soo concerned.  I would have been too.   If I had a friend in IRL who was in that much pain I would have went over and dragged her butt to the ER.  Take your time getting to know the people here.  I hope that in a while when things have settled down you will fell better about others on OH.  I have made some of the most wonderful friends here.  I hope you do too.

Sunny..

I am sorry that this happen to you!

If the pain get much worse... and /or  you start to spike a fever.... get to the ER.  Since you live in FW... and St Francis does more WLS cases than any other hospital in the area... they should be able figure out  what is going on.  Granted... going back to the UW might be better... but it's definately further.

I hope you feel better SOON!

Helen

Isn't there a saying that the road to hell is paved with good intentions?  This friend very clearly violated your boundaries and trust.  You're a grown woman, and even if you are wrong in your assumptions (and I'm not saying you are) regarding the origin of your pain, you deserve to have your decisions respected even if someone disagrees with them.
 
I'm sorry for your hurt.  But please don't assume that everyone on OH is like that.  Most of us are mature enough to respect other people's boundaries and accept that decisions like that are yours to make--and none of our business!  I can see that someone might try to convince you that another interpretation of the pain might be x or y, but if you decide it's z, then its totally your business and must be respected.

By the way, I hope you feel better.

Karen

Karen,

Did you order some PB2?  If you did I have it and need to get it to you!


***Sorry for the hijack****

Again, I am going to my 2 week post op appt today. The herendous pain is subsided from wearing the binder. This person didnt listen to anything I said. I mentioned like 4 times that I have appt today.

St Francis is not a possiblty for me. I am a disabiled woman and I have Medicare. The WLS doctors do not except Medicare. So I would end up driver to UW anyway. I will not go to St Francis Unless it is for something else.

I was not this persons friend. I was trying to become a friend yesterday when this person did this. I feel very violated and my wall ha**** a all time height. 

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.  I hope you feel better and get that pain under control.  I hope that later, when you've had a chance to do some healing, you take another look at this incident.  It sounds like this person was very concerned about you and was afraid for your life.  It may not have been her business to do anything about it, but maybe you can forgive her when you think about her motive.  She must feel just terrible now, especially if she's read these posts. 
Sheryl

I just came in from my 2 week post op appt. I lost 18 lbs. I was upgraded to the Soft Diet. I am doing okay and I am right on target according to surgeon. I was fitted for a Binder. It is the proper size and fit. Once I heal alittle better I will start wearing it.

 The reason I was having the horrendous pain over the weekend is because I was wearing the binder (my hubby brought) wrong. I was wearing it to high. When I woke up this morning, that pain was gone. Now I am back to post op pain.

 About this messed up woman. I am still angered everytime I think about it.  OMG Maybe she had good intentions, but this was a bad move. I dont have alot of trust. My wall is like 3 stories tall. Being concerned about someone is one thing, but befriending someone to get their name and go behind there back, is another.

 Hi Sunny! I am so pleased to hear that you saw your doc today, and are feeling better. I feel bad about recommending that you try a binder,and it made your pain worse, instead of better! So many of these comfort things are trial and error.
I am also a very private person, and I would also feel angry if someone used my name and called a physician without asking me first. That is crossing the line, in my book. I hope you continue reading and posting here. This is a long, complicated journey that we are all on, and it sure helps to read and talk w/others who are going through the same thing. Especially since support group meetings are once a month or so.-Pam