People can be such jerks!!

So we've all experienced the stigma around WLS, in particular bypass. Today I had two different people make comments like "I'm going to be watching you like a hawk after this surgery to make sure you don't eat anything you're not supposed to." and "why don't you just work with a personal trainer and get a diet plan?"

Most people that know me, know me to be very direct and set very clear boundaries...so today, I had to rip some serious ass. I will not tolerate ignorance and people putting their weird crap or issues on me. And if I hear about Carnie Wilson or Al Roker gaining weight back one more time, I'm going to lose it. That is all most people know of this surgery, a musician and a tv weather guy. For the love of God!

I don't expect people to be as knowledgeable as i am about this surgery. I have to be that knowledgeable as it's happening to me. But I do expect people to behave themselves in a manor that isn't assuming that I've made some rash decision or that someone they know had a bad experience therefore I should scrap everything. They have no clue about the thousands upon thousands of people that have had successful outcomes and keep their weight off for years and years.

Ok, I'm going to take a breath now and go to bed. Good night everyone! LOL

I am 6 1/2 years out and wear a size 6.Cheryl

It irritated me too, just tell people when they start getting a check from the food police then thay can talk to you about what you are eating, we (peeps on OH) though are allowed to give you a gentle "nudge" if we see you doing something dagerous. LOL
And as far as Al and Carnie go...  they are still sucesses in my eyes, they are both down a tremendous amount from where they started, maybe not americas ideal but happier and healthier I'm sure.

It reminds me of what a nurse practitioner said to me when I was talking about surgury for weight loss and insurance coverage. She actually said "of course they will not cover it, it really doesnt work. People think the surgury will fix them and do not want to work at it and they either do not loose or they gain it all back and then some".

I was sad when I talked to her and depressed when I left feeling like there is no hope then I found this site and am so grateful for all of you. Thank you for this and all the support you give  each other.

God bless all of you whatever stage you are at in the process.

Man-O-Man I hear you Jody!!!

People can be such jerks. Just let it go...if you can. It's all ignorance speaking. I've heard it and felt it all during this last year. I find it amusing now. My very own MIL and SIL's have this pact to not say one word to me about my weightloss. Come on...how juvenile can you be! Sure it is irritating and even disappointing to me, but I didn't have this surgery for anyone but me.
I am 125 pounds down and I feel fantastic. I don't need anyone's approval or cheers to make me feel like I'm doing well or doing the right thing. I know I am doing the right thing...for me. But you know....it sure feels good when people say nice things to you about how you look. You are only human after all.
So I've not only lost a lot of weight, I've had to grow a tougher spine. Which makes me an all around better person!!
I, too, feel that Carnie and Al are successes. I can't imagine how hard it must be for them to be judged all the time by the world that only see them for moments on TV. Kudo's to them for carrying on with their chins held high!!

And kudos to you to for opening up a can of whoppass and for taking control of your life and getting WLS. I see your day is coming up soon! Congrats and keep in touch. Let us know how you are doing!

Enjoy the ride,
Susan
=0)

Your real friends will support you! Don't worry about rude people! I am 6 years out and a size 8. Hang in there and have good thoughts! Merrilou

Other than the one friendship that fell apart , I've been really lucky . Everyone else has been very supportive , or they haven't said anything . I'm pretty blunt . People know if they say something to me , I will say how I feel . People are weird . They glom on to the negative . If it's sunny , there's always someone pointing out a stray cloud .

I am approachhing my fifth year maintaining a 175 weight loss.  The thing that has served me the best from an emotional standpoint is to embrace in my heart "LET IT GO".  Feeling irritated at some peoples ignorance or times when they might think they are complimenting or helping you and it's actually something that rubs you wrong is not the only emotion this will help with.  I felt a great amount of grief and mourning for the years I suffered obese, and regret for lost time - feelings that if only if I done this sooner.  If only Kaiser hadn't stalled me and made me give up for two years.  For the fact that I still have to deal with some of the ravages of walking around with an all that extra weight (knee replacement surgery last year, worrying what my artieries really look like now after those years of fattie food) and wish my skin removal comes behind kids going to college and weddings to pay for and vacations we still can't afford to take.  I too think Carnie and Al are smashing successes and there is no comparision to their quality of life at their highest weight. 

I promise the diet policing will fade after a couple of years.  I am able to eat very normal at this point and tend to really eat that way at parties or family gatherings to help them forget that I am not that different anymore now that things have normalized.  It comes up less and less and the glorious things is I am not morbidly obese.  I never forget where I come from and will always be here for my community of peers, but this far out life is really no longer dominated by the WLS or my former obesity. 

Judgement and ignorance will always be there.  If not on this subject than on wether I clean my stove drip pans (MIL) or can't become a morning person ever (my dear hubby).  It's so much nicer in life to accept yourself and not give in to our crabby self.  It might get better results or it might not teach or change the wrong people in our lifes, but it feels like my days don't contain much drama in my head.   My mother in law is so full of wives tales that will not be unbroken in the face of scientific evidence, judgment tendencies on childrearing despite the fact my kids are all very successful and happy, and is getting more cranky with age.  I pretty much LET IT GO.  It started when I lost my beloved mom and first felt the emotion in relation to my many sibiliings and our various issues.  It was so freeing and I am able to enjoy them for the things I cheris from the days of our childhoods - which is what I really want from the relationship.  No changing their adults selves!

This surgery saved my life and gave my heart a huge hug and chance to be truly happy .

Patty

I am pretty open about have gastric bypass and don't mind if people know.  Normally, when people say something to me that is negative, I just blow it off - I really don't care what they think because the surgery was for me.

On occasion, when an someone is negative, I will just start going through my various weight related problems (diabetes, hypertension, joint pain, stress fractures, etc.).  I will then point out that the stuff wasn't getting better, more problem were occuring, etc.  At this point the person's eyes are glazed over.

I then point out that I haven't had to take medication for diabetes since the surgery, my lower extremity edema is gone, etc.

I then explain that WLS was the right decision for me and usually that person will agree and the subject doesn't come up again.

I am really lucky in that the people who matter most in my life (wife, kids, my in-laws, and people I consider friends) are all supportive - none have ever expressed any negative views to me.

Scott