I want to eat....

Hi.... I found out in an email this afternoon that my biological father only has a few days to live.  My parents divorced when I was 4, he was transfered with his job... and I did not have any relationship with him until 6 or so years ago (at 45) I live in Bremerton, and he lives in Bellingham... so I will be able to go and see him this weekend.I  am having a multitude of emotions and my first reaction is to eat!!!  I am angry at him for dying before I had more time to get to know him.... I am angry at myself for not making the effort to see him ( and the rest of that side of the family) this past thanksgiving.  My brother and I had planned to go and see him this winter... but life got the better of us... and we never did.  I am angry that my aunt did not call me...  I am fustrated that my husband has my cell phone today because he washed his in the washing machine and his new phone is not here yet ... and he made the decision to not allow long distance calls from our home number (since we almost never made any since we both have cell phones). I called one of my friends from church and she prayed with me and situation...and I do feel a little better. I know an addict alone is NOT in good company... so I am reaching out to my friends here. bye for now....  and my desire to eat everything in the house has subsided at least for now... but if it returns... I will be back here .... Helen

Oh Helen I'm so sorry hun ((((((hugs)))))  Is there anywhere you can go for a walk? I have had a few days where stress was getting the best of me, went for a walk, and it gave me time to get things in my head organized, away from everything and everyone.  I know our first instinct is to grab the food, but I tried that once myself and only made myself sick.  You will be in my prayers as well for strength to get you through this tough time.

Thank you Shelly... Walking instead of eating... and it sunny out tonight.... thanks for the suggestion. I heard from my brother and we are going to go up to visit on Monday... He is working all weekend so monday is the first time we can go together. I got another email from my Aunt.... she said the my father and his wife want my brother and to visit... and how sorry everyone is that the news came through an email.    So I am not feeling as angry as before. I ate my dinner... and now I am just waiting for my hubby to get home. Helen

I'm glad you are feeling a touch better.  I know it's a very hard and stressful time right now and will truly test you in the near future.  Just know we are all here for you when you want and need us (((((hugs))))

I am so sorry Helen.  I pray that you will find strenght to deal with everything you have on your plate right now.  Try not to beat your self up, the past is the past and you are being given this opportuinity to reconcile with your dad now.  Do your best, thats all anyone can ask.  Here is a big ((((HUG)))), come here and talk to us anytime.

Helen, I'm sorry.  Since I volunteer with kids in our foster care system I certain can understand *some* of what you're feeling.  And, having lost my father when I was only 24 and my mom three years ago (both, far, far, too young) I can certainly say that life is not fair. Now is when you need to really evaluate who you are as a person.  And food isn't an identifier.  You are NOT what you eat nor will it help you solve anything.  I'm glad you recognize this.  Like the surgery, getting through this won't be easy. Try not to be too angry at others, either.  This information is difficult for people to process.  Sometimes they don't know how to act or what to do.  When my mother-in-law was getting sicker and sicker we weren't told about it.  By anyone.  Like my mom and dad, my mother-in-law died far too young.  At least we felt fortunate that we were actually given a chance to say goodbye.  For that I'm grateful. I wish you peace and understanding in this difficult phase of your life.  You'll make it through. Lori

My heart goes out to you and I pray you will find the strength to stay in control of the eating. I do have one suggestion about the phone situation. At one time we decided not to have long distance service either but we bought a phone card to have on hand just in case an emergency arose and we needed to contact relatives. Where your father is so ill you might want to consider that option so you know you can keep in contact. Best wishes to you!

Thank you Everyone for all your support! My father is at home...with hospice... and is not expected to live much past the next few days. So my brother and I are going up on tomorrow (sunday) and see him.  I spoke to my Aunt... and she told me that my dad had asked about my brother and I... so that made me feel better.  Its been a shock., to the whole family that my fathers health changed so radically so fast. I did a little overeating today... I did not sleep well... and ate in hopes that I would not be so tired. I am back on track now.  I finally went grocery shopping so we have healthy food in the house. Thank you again....  Helen

Hugs and prayers for Peace for you and for everyone involved  i will say a special prayer tonight for you~~~~ peace!

Helen - I'm so sorry to hear about your dad...  I hope your visit to him yesterday was a good one and it sounds like you've been able to work through some of the emotions.  It is so hard to lose a loved one before we're ready.  I lost my sister very unexpectedly last July - she was only 59 years old and there was no warning...  I'm just glad that you have the opportunity to at least see your dad this one time in his final days.  I hope that you will find comfort in the fact that you were able to see him now and that you were able to reconcile with him.  Hopefully this will open the door to continued communication and relationships with that side of your family...  Family is so important to us!  I agree with Shelley's suggestion to walk instead of eating...  Other ideas would be to pray, write in a journal, call a friend.  I also agree with the suggestion of purchasing a calling card for emergency long distance calling from home.  You can get one at Costco for under $20 that would give you something like 700 minutes.  I use those, too, as we don't have long distance on our home phone due to our cell phones!  Anyway, take care and I hope your visit with your dad gave you some peace...