OT: Feeling kinda isolated and alone...(very long post)

Collette~ Yes, I have a lot of those same feelings...it's such a risk to let people in.  I am the kind of person that once you're my friend, you will always be my friend and I will always be there for you.  It's really hard to lose that with me.  That's how I've always been.  So it's hard when most people aren't like that - I'm not one that likes the superficial friendships as  much - though I would even be happy with those at this point - as long as I know that's the kind of friendship it is.  I like the real friendships...and I know those are hard to get anyway. This site has been great, I agree! You should join us for our get together!  I know it's a bit of a drive from Kent, but you'd be totally welcome!!

Its sounds like she was just a friend of convience. you have several oh'ers who live near enough to you that hopefully you can all get together and hang out or do the zoo or something. I am kinda like you as I have no real friends to speak of. I mover to Shelton 11 yrs ago and have just 1 friend, who I don't even talk to that much. when I moved here I worked at an all male company, no friends to meet there. I am very quiet and shy when it comes to meeting people. we moved to a new house in April and I don't even know my neighbors names, they have never come over to introduce themselves. I don't work any longer so I just paly on the computer alot. and talk to my daughter in TN. when she's not working. It looks like you are gonna have a day to hang out with others in your area, since Shelley is trying to set up a date for you all to meet.  Good luck with that and your upcoming surgery.

Hey there Cindy you are welcome to come too you know!!! 

Thank you for that.  I just get nervous when meeting people, I guess I'm just insecure in my own skin. I may come if I can get my daughter to go with me, so I don't feel so awkward. I have gone to 2 support group meetings in Bremerton and I had her come to those with me also. She is wonderful as she is a talker and not afraid to ask questions. She is a real support also.

Yes, I am looking forward to meeting them.  And as Jillian said, you are more than welcome to join us!  I would certainly love to meet you - I would even drive out there to meet you if I had a vehicle working well (hopefully in February our van will be good as new - or hopefully better LOL).  But seriously...please come...even if your daughter can't...we'd love to have you there...and just like you, we'll be meeting most of these people for the first time there - I met Shelley and Fran during the Nutrition classes at Madigan, and I met Nancy at Vitalady's support group...but it's still not an easy thing for me either!  So you are not alone! Hope to meet you then!

Annie, you have kids, right?  Let me ask you this -- how would you handle it if they were older and you had the same thing happen to them?  How would you explain it? I think what this person did to you is wrong but people do change.  I'm sure you can go back in time you'll recall a friend you may have lost because your interests changed and you moved on to another group of people.  Its happened with me.  Because I can't have kids I'm being systematically cut off from my friends who do.  They think I can't or don't relate.  On some levels, yes, that is true but on a humanitarian level, absolutely not. Life is all about change and growth.  Hopefully yours is a positive one. Superficial friends (or friends you discover are superficial) have way of revealing themselves.  The real friends also will show themselves.  Time will tell as far as where this person ultimately fits (I've had friends push me away only to find their way back -- and apologize). Trust me, I don't make friends very easily but if you are my friend, I'm yours for life.  It sounds like you're that way a bit, too.  I also have both social and general anxiety disorder so I really don't like meeting people, either.  That's probably why I have the friends I do. By allowing yourself to open up you'll find new experiences that will support you and friends who will share those interests.  Just don't automatically rule out everyone. Lori

Lori~ Yes, I am the kind of person that if you are my friend, you're stuck with me!  It takes a VERY HUGE thing for a friendship to dissolve on MY end.   Thanks for your words! I appreciate it!  I think I am finding that those of us who ARE like that, have probably been hurt so many times, that it makes it hard for us to open up to people.  And we tend to isolate ourselves because of it.  So now, it's time to start reaching out (do my OWN branching out) and meet people.   I think one of my downfalls is that I am too trusting too.  I usually assume people will be GREAT friends...and I treat them as such...and let them too far in.  Know what I mean?  Not that I shouldn't let people in...but I think I need to be more selective and more cautious. Anyway, thanks! ~Annie

I completely understand (and agree).  The good thing is, since you have kids, you have immediate ice breakers and excuses if things get a little too touchy. As far as not letting people in, well, I would think that's something you have to work on.  I would almost think the military background would force you to not make all of the tight bonds that would otherwise happen. You have to put yourself out there to find companionship, though.  I'm sure you can do it!

WOW!, First Miss Annie, I just want to say that she wasn't a true friend. A true friend doesn't judge or talk bad about you. Or dump you for another friend, they have you join them. Its her lost not yours.  So on that note I want to say that I really enjoyed meeting you and talking with you today. I sure hope that you and my daugher will become good friends because you both are very special people, and I am happy to have met you. Like I said today I am here for you so call me anytime... Hugs Terri

Thanks Terri! I enjoyed meeting you today too.  I told the boys about the baby I got to meet today, and they want to meet him too - they just LOVE babies! Thanks for calling me today!  I tend to isolate myself...especially when I get depressed!  Your call was just what I needed!