To tell coworkes or not? How?

Hi All, I've been pretty secret about my surgery (I'm now nearly 3 weeks post). Folks at work (except for HR + Benefits who know all) know I am recouperating from "a" surgery, but not that it is WLS. I found it best to keep it to myself at work because of the shame I still suffer from. And not wanting to talk to people about my weight, and possibly dealing with the unsupportive/negative. I'm planning on going back in 3 weeks and am wondering what folks' experiences have been and what they would advise. I have a group of folks I eat lunch with that will undoubtely notice my change in menu, and lots of folks who will undoubtedly ask "what were you out for?" Thanks - Pixelgirl

Hi Pixelgirl, Each person has to make this decision for themself. If your co-workers haven't been supportive of you in other areas they probably won't be in this area either. I did let the people around me know what I was planning and I feel very lucky that, by and large, they have been very supportive of my banding. I'm sure there are those who still feel that we banders have taken the "easy" way out, but they certainly haven't been in our shoes over the years of anguish over our weight. They also are the same people who have no idea that this isn't an "easy" way out, it is hard work and not something we're doing just for vanity or fun. I was banded on June 15th, I'm already off of my CPAP machine, my acid reflux is gone, I'm preparing to go off of Lipitor, I can now walk the mile around my neighborhood without gasping for breath, in other words, it's changed my health and my life. One positive about telling people about your surgery is that I've already talked to a number of people who are now planning on having this surgery to save their lives. If they hadn't heard about my surgery this might not have happened. Just hang in there, don't worry about what others say, you'll be a whole new person soon. Blessings, Nancy B, Birch Bay, WA Banded 6/15/06 260/213/??? size 20/22 pants in June, size 16 now!!!!

Hi, I had my Lap-Band surgery today and will be missing the next week of work, and I have not told anyone at work about it. I guess I just thought it was too personal and kinda embarrassing. I'd rather say I got my appendix out or something, not that I want to get all caught up in lies either. At this point, I'm out sick. I know what you mean about the changes they'll see when going out for lunch and so on. I used to do that too and sometimes out for drinks once a month with a group. I won't be doing that either. My plan right now is to say I'm on a strict diet and I don't want the calories from alcohol and if I do go out and eat, I'll order something small with some chicken, veggies, and so on, and take the rest home saying I'm just not very hungry right now. That's the thought at this point. And really, I will be losing weight all the time so, they'll just think I'm doing so good on my new diet. Really, it's what I needed to do for my life. I do care about my co-workers and friends and don't want to lie and it's not that I don't even trust that they'd be supportive, but right now, I'm just not ready. So only my b/f and ex-husband know I had the surgery today. I've thought over and over again about telling everyone else and I just don't want to do it. I guess it depends on what you can live with as far as kind of living a little secret? It's not even a bad thing, just a personal one. Whatever you decide will be best for you. Just wanted you to know I'm living the same thing right now. Good luck with everything - you'll be fine. Dee

I have been up front with my co-workers all along . That's just how I am . I really haven't experienced any negativity . A couple of people have were concerned about complications . Whatever you decide is okay . It's a very personal decision .

I have a little bit different situation in that we own our own business so I don't really have coworkers per se. But we do have a lot of staff who know me well. I was a little leery of telling eveyone at first especially when I wasn't quite sure myself. But as I'm getting closer to actually getting a surgery date, I've been telling many of our staff memebers too. They have all been extremely supportive. Mostly people are concerned about complications and many just don't know what in entails and have lots of questions. I've been happy to explain and perhaps educate some folks about what exactly weight loss surgery is and is not. I think you should do what you are comfortable with maybe just tell the few people you work with most. But I think you'll find much less negativety about it than you think. It's so widely discussed in today's media that people are a lot more accepting than even a year ago. Anyway, best of luck to you!! Corinna Q

Hi Pixelgirl, It will be a year in Feb since I had my surgery and I didnt tell the people I worked with. I knew that some would be supportive and some would try to tell me I could do this with out the surgery so I felt I would keep it to myself. I am down 90 pounds and people see the change but just remember the weight to them is slow and you can just tell them you have changed your eating habits and will be eating small healthy meals to maintain you weight loss. People really dont ask me to much other than how did I do it and I just say that my diet has changed. But it is up to you what you tell them you may still have very supportive co-workers and will be fine. Know your friends and feel it out. Good luck you will do great just remember it is your life and you have a great journey ahead of you. All the Best. KN