Need some positive Lap-Band support!

Hi to All, First, I would like to thank everyone on this board for the generosity of spirit...it's been very beneficial to my pre and post-op education. I am just completing my 4th week of pre-op diet/vitamin/exercise log (my surgery will be performed by Dr. Gabriel Alperovich at the Valley Medical WISH Center. It looks as if my surgery will be performed the end of July/early August. For some reason, "friends" and family, who truly are supportive of me and understand I research everything thoroughly, are starting to slip comments into our conversations about people they've "heard of through various grapevines" who have a) died from malnutrion as a result of lap-band surgery, b) gained back their weight by failing to adhere to all the post-op programs, including learning to graze all day, c) died of dehydration, or d) throw up after every meal. Good stuff. So it's starting to get under my skin and causing some anxiety. I worry about the water most of all because I take bipolar meds that require a lot of water consumption (don't want to have kidney failure as I get older). And, to be perfectly honest, I'm probably grieving about giving up certain foods. Here's what is keeping me hanging in there, however: The other day, I was on a 2 hr walk, when my boyfriend and I heard a teenager (sunning in her bikini at Lake Washington) look up at me and say, "Oh, sexy." From the age of 10 I was put on diets by my mother, taken to the doctor for possible thyroid problems, to a hypnotist in high school, etc., etc., and in looking at picture from my childhood, I was only 10-15-20 lbs overweight at most. I've yo-yo dieted my entire lifetime. I grew up with a brother and sister, all of us close in age, who had perfect bodies, as did my father and mother, and physical looks were an emphasis, as well as physical activity. I was labeled the brain in the family, but always made to feel as if I was an outcast. I've endured more hurtful comments that "normal" sized people feel is their god-given right to fling into the universe in a minute's time or less and which stay with me forever, about my looks/weight than I can count. Everything from, "You're so beautiful, why are you buying that donut?" to "You are an incredible singer, but fat girls shouldn't wear denim," to "Your face just doesn't match your body...we're going to have to do something about that," and here's one of my favorites: I was on a date with a guy, when a carload of young men in their 20s saw me and hollered at my beauty....when my date opened the car door for me, two of them yelled, "Oh god, she's fat!" So I'm trying to dig up all those hurtful comments, stares, putdowns and think about this: I'm now 52 and 110 lbs overweight. With the lap-band surgery, do I want the following: To wear a bathing suit and sun at the beach? Do I want to wear nothing but a man's white shirt and panties while sitting around home...preferably with a man? Do I want to wear French underwear? Do I want to wear "cfm" boots and show off my legs? Do I want to train for a triathalon? Do I want to hike on our beautful NW trails? Do I want to travel around the world without worrying about fitting into airplane seats, being unable to walk a lot? Do I want to look like the sexiest grandma in town? Do I want to put those nasty remarks behind me for good? Do I want to learn to tango? Do I want my son to forget about worrying that his mother might die early from her weight/comorbidities? Do I want to quit seeing multiple specialist for weight-related health problems? Do I want to look at just one of those shallow people who you know criticize obese people and say to yourself, "F**k you! Hell, yes! And, no, I'm not bitter, just trying to stay focused. Thanks for any and all responses.

Well, I can't tell you about life post-op, as I am pre-op myself.. but I can say - hang in there! You can do this! And remember - the band IS removeable, so if you DID have some weird problem - it's not the end of the world! Michelle

Thank you for your kind words, Michelle. Also, thanks for the reminder about having the band removed if necessary. I think I'll be fine, just got the heebie-jeebies for a few days. Good luck to you, fellow pre-opster.

I'm glad you found somewhere where you can be comfortable being yourself and be supported. Lori

Thank you, Lori. All the best to you in your recovery.

Chandler, I have found that almost all of the people I have told, which is a lot because I did not want to appear to be trying to hide it from them. (family, friends, coworkers when asked about my weight loss) knew nothing about what the band is. Most get it confused with RNY . Also it is hard to explain what the band is without a diagram or something. Hang in there ,when the band is placed you will really feel like a new woman. It is great to feel in control of your eating and every pound or inch lost makes you feel even greater! I was nervous about the whole surgery thing ,had second thoughts and yes I sometimes miss eating whatever I want but it gets better all the time. I was banded on May 2nd 2006.Including the preop week I have lost 35 pounds. A friend had it done May 19 and she has lost over 40. Keep in mind that the people with problems are the ones we hear about or read about. There are thousands of people who are doing well and would never give up the band. I dont know if you post on the main lap band board but there are a lot of great people on it as well. BTW I was crossing the street before my surgery and a guy in a car called my butt a rump roast so I know how those comments feel. Tell your family not to worry about dehydration you will be able to drink as much water etc as you want. it goes right through, even after a fill it is fine. Oh, tell them you will not throw up after every meal, there is a learning curve to the chewing for awhile and sometimes a food that goes down fine one time will give you trouble the next but I would not consider it throwing up, you burp and whatever is stuck usually comes right up. It is not a constant problem at all. One last thing i( I swear) once your family sees the weight loss they will be much better with it, especially when they see how much happier you are!! keep your chin up, Donna C

Donna, Thank you doesn't even come close to what I feel after reading your response. It's absolutely what I needed to hear. Thank you with all my heart...I'm wearing a smile again! Chandler

Hi again Chandler: First of all, at two weeks post banding, I feel wonderful (better than before surgery), I'm also down a full pant size. Had a little bit of nausea the first two days, but kept all of that yummy clear liquid down. Haven't felt nauseous since starting food that has a little more substance to it. Can't tell you about post fill because I haven't been there yet. You will look and feel fantastic after your banding and it will be worth all the effort, don't let others dictate your life, you can take control. I find myself now wanting to go up to everyone who is obese and hug them and tell them, "Hey, guess what I just did?" I won't do that, but hate to think of the pain that comes from remarks like those ignorant people you mentioned. Blessings, Nancy Boat, Birch Bay, WA