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Trust me some of us have been here for over 10 years and we have seen a lot of things.
Maybe there is something else that they both like to do that doesn't involve food. Movies, mini golf, just a walk, that they can do for their date night instead.
My husband has always been supportive of me and it was him in 2003 who suggested I look into WLS. He just wanted me to be healthy and active. Now the tides have turned and he got a back injury 3 years ago. He was depressed and gained weight which didn't help his back. He had tried on and off for the last few years to lose the weight and just recently came across a Dr. on youtube who is a holistic doctor from Sweden. The way the doctor talks about things and explains things peaked my husbands interest. It really motivated him to lose the weight, get off his sugar meds, and be more active. So I have been right there encouraging him and helping him in any way I can.
I think communication in a relationship is the key. I hope things work out for them.
Dr. Sanchez Lapband 9/12/2003
hw305/revision w280/cw197/gw150
Revision from Lap Band to Bypass on 2/4/2015 by Dr. Pohl
Oh, I hadn't even thought of that. He is overweight, and maybe he is thinking that. Their date nights revolve around eating out at nicer restaurants, so you have raised a very interesting point, thank you. Wow, there is a lot to think about! How do you all get so smart! Thank you, ladygodiva1228! Wise words!
In answer to her talking to him about it, I think she shared it with me first to see if I noticed anything weird and yes, it's going on for sure. I want to be understanding of it all so I don't judge him, it may not be his fault. I'm going to suggest she have a nice long talk with him so they're discussing what might come up before it becomes them fighting about it.
White Dove, it's strange to think that my son in law may be thinking she will be attractive to someone else, but then we don't understand the psychology of others, so I'll just get the book and ask her to consider reading it, and to join this website and find some friends on this website. I found the second edition of the book online for about $10.
I know she had a psychological evaluation prior to surgery, but it doesn't seem like there are enough warnings as to the great changes in the relationship that can occur. Theirs might not be major yet, but if they don't communicate clearly and honestly, I can tell it could get to that point, and with two children in the mix.
This is good insight for me, don't forget to communicate, even without surgery!
A couple of questions. Was he ever supportive of the surgery? Is he himself overweight or obese? If it is the later of the two sometimes the spouse feels like they are losing their eating partner.
Has your daughter talked to him about his recent behavior?
Dr. Sanchez Lapband 9/12/2003
hw305/revision w280/cw197/gw150
Revision from Lap Band to Bypass on 2/4/2015 by Dr. Pohl
You know her best and how she will react. I used to buy that book for friends when they had weight loss surgery, but it used to cost about $20. I was surprised at how expensive it is now. I had my surgery in 2007 and found it very useful then.
I remember the head of our surgery center saying that it is possible to keep your marriage together after weight loss surgery but it is not always easy. Seeing a big change in your partner is very life changing for you too.
One day, my husband said that I was no longer the person her married. I said, "thank you". He said he did not mean it as a compliment. I told him that I did not work so hard to remain the person that he married.
Many men think that their new thin wife will attract attention from other men and might leave the marriage. And sometimes that does happen. There are emotional things going on and the couple has to work through them together.
Real life begins where your comfort zone ends
Thanks, White Dove. It is hard to watch but I care about them both so I will stay out of the middle, I want my "mom" relationship with her hubby to continue being a good one and she and I get along just great. I may suggest she read the book first, not sure.
I was sleeved on August 10, 2020, so it has been a little over 6 weeks as I write this, and I have only lost 16 pounds, barely 2 pounds per week. Anything is better than nothing, but this is pretty disappointing because I hear of so many people with dramatic weight gain post op.
I did lose 36 pounds before surgery over two and a half months, and I get that I may have used up some of the 'easy' weight loss then, but I ate so little after surgery (fasted for a day, then liquid diet for two weeks, then purees and the gradual introduction of more normal foods with an average daily caloric intake between 800 and 850 calories -- and I log everything). For the last month I have been exercising 4-5 times per week for at least 30 minutes, and reaching 10,000 steps some days even when I don't get to my treadmill (much more than I was exercising pre-surgery).
I recently discovered online that a drug I have been taking for neuropathy (amitriptyline) is linked to weight gain (wish a doctor had mentioned that earlier!) so I am tapering it off and I'm almost finished with it. That could be a factor too.
For what it's worth, I also have been extremely hungry. It feels just like it used to when I would lose a lot of weight, then start feeling abnormal levels of hunger.
I am determined to stay the course, hunger or no, but I almost want to cry when I hear of people "forgetting to eat" or "unable to take more than a few bites before they feel satisfied". Not my experience at all.
Any ideas anyone, or similar experiences?
Thanks, Selene
I'm going to ask what your daily meals look like. What are you eating and are you measuring stuff or just eyeballing. Honestly I wasn't eating 800 cals a day until almost 6 months out. It could be that you are eating more than you think.
What about fluids are you drinking enough?
As for the extreme hunger it very well could be an acid overload. Acid definitely mimic hunger.
Dr. Sanchez Lapband 9/12/2003
hw305/revision w280/cw197/gw150
Revision from Lap Band to Bypass on 2/4/2015 by Dr. Pohl
+1 The "hunger" you feel is not really hunger, it's excess stomach acid. I assume you were prescribed a PPI, so this should diminish over time, although it may not go away entirely. When you feel a "growly" or "rumbling" stomach, drink extra fluid and it should go away.
Post WLS, what is a reliable cue that you need to eat? I suspect this varies from person to person, but for me it's a sensation that I can't really describe. Whereas the growly stomach seems to demand immediate attention, and goes away when I drink water, I find that true hunger is more of a quiet signal that makes me realise it's been a while since I ate. And of course if I wait too long to eat, I start to feel faint. I think it took about six months for me to reliably recognise true hunger.
Good Morning!
I wrote this blog post detailing some facts about getting your Gastric Sleeve Surgery done in Mexico, and why you get the best cost-benefit!
Read all about it here
https://www.endobariatric.com/weblog/2020/08/19/the-truth-ab out-getting-your-gastric-sleeve-in-mexico/
Regards
Dr. Alvarez
Even though there is no average weight loss, there is a very typical weight loss. Most people lose 100 pounds over the course of the first year. It breaks down like this:
Month 1 - 20 pounds
Months 2-6 - 10 pounds a month
Months 7-12 - 5 pounds a month
There is individual variation, but that is what you can reasonably expect.
The extreme hunger does not make sense at all. It is very likely acid reflux. That is common after VSG and mimics hunger. Are you on something like Prevacid? I was sent home with that. Talk to your surgeon about the hunger. It is not normal.
Real life begins where your comfort zone ends
