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I completely agree. My local peer circle is similar.
I know some people here think I am harsh, but I know what to do and can see the red flags in others. I really do want other people to be successful. I think all of us long-term veterans do or we would not still be here!!
Laura in Texas
53 years old; 5'7" tall; HW: 339 (BMI=53); GW: 140 CW: 170 (BMI=27)
RNY: 09-17-08 Dr. Garth Davis
brachioplasty: 12-18-09 Dr. Wainwright; lbl/bl: 06-28-11 Dr. LoMonaco
"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears."
You are very wise, both to recognize that WLS is not foolproof and in recognizing your personal difficulties. This gives you a massive advantage over those who think they've got it licked before and soon after surgery.
Rocky's reply above gives you great insight into what is expected and what you will need to succeed.
There are several long term successful vets here on OH who are here to both give and get support - that need never disappears. They have lived this surgery anywhere from 5 to 30 + years and they really have BTDT, so are able to guide, advise and kick ass when necessary. Use and appreciate this resource - it's maybe the only group that doesn't encourage hand patting or smoke blowing. Too many groups out there are lessons in failure.
So while those posts about not making goal, stalling and regain worry you, they are doing you an awesome favour by giving you an opportunity to consider ALL sides of this life changing decision.
Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
#yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes
RNY 4-22-02...
LW: 6lb,10 oz SW:340lb GW:170lb CW:155
We Can Do Hard Things
I think people with significant/complete regain are way more common than those of us *****gain and lose.
Most of the peers I keep in touch with have either never lost their excess weight or have regained and then some.
Never underestimate the long term successful veterans here - they are not typical in our population.
The OP is wise to be mindful of the very real possibility of not being successful in the 5, 10, 15 ++ long term
Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
I had similar worries before my VSG. I had tried so many diets in the past and failed each time to keep the weight off. How was this going to be any different? Here's what i would tell the pre-surgery me.
WLS is different. Normally, when you try to diet, your body fights against you. Your metabolism slows down to maintain your current weight, and you get hungrier. After WLS, you will be less hungry. You will probably still feel "hungry" all the time for a few months because of excess stomach acid. However, I found that type of "hunger" felt far less urgent, and I could ignore it much more easily. It's hard to explain until you've had the surgery. Now I only feel hunger when it's been a while since my last meal.
After WLS you will need far less food to make you feel full, so you will naturally tend to eat fewer calories. You can work around this by eating "slider" foods like sweets that move through your stomach quickly and leave room for more food, but if you're wise you'll avoid doing this.
WLS changed my cravings. Before WLS, I would crave something specific, like chocolate ice cream or pizza. Now I get cravings for "something sweet" or "something savoury", and in either case it's easy to find a healthy food that satisfies the craving.
All of these changes give you time and space to develop healthy eating habits. The danger is that you could eventually go back to your old habits. In reality, I think there are very few people *****gain all the weight. More typical is the person who loses a satisfactory amount of weight, and then during some life crisis (illness in the family, unpleasant job, etc.) they regain some weight. They have to go back to basics (eating high-protein, healthy food) to lose it again.
on 2/20/20 4:23 am - WI
In order to truly succeed you must become a disciplined person. Surgery was never intended to do all the work of weight loss. Surgery gives us a very finite time to get the weight off rapidly. If you follow the surgeon's plan you will lose weight. If you become disciplined you will maintain that weight loss. It's hard work. Those who tell you weight loss surgery is the "easy way" to lose weight are wrong.
After surgery your tiny stomach will prevent you from over eating by making you feel terrible if you do. If you get RNY you may be one of the 30% who have dumping syndrome when you eat sugary foods. Feeling awful when you eat the wrong foods will keep you on the right path for awhile. Eventually the swelling goes down and your pouch relaxes and grows and you are able to eat more food. This is when the discipline comes in. You will have to measure your portions and learn to be satisfied with a very small amount of food. You will have to learn to make good choices when you eat. You will have to stop grazing and snacking.
The problem comes when we figure out how to eat around the surgery. For instance, I have dumping syndrome. If I eat 4 cookies I am in serious pain, but I can eat one cookie, every few hours, and feel nothing. That means I can eat the entire package in a day...one cookie at a time.... and start gaining weight.
Many of us include a therapist in our WLS team so we can learn the discipline needed to lose, and why we choose to sabotage our weight loss. Getting the head stuff right is the biggest part of the equation in weight loss surgery success. Sometimes we need help figuring things out. I encourage you to seek out a therapist that specializes in eating disorders.
Coming to this site and interacting with others who have "been there and done that" was essential to my success. The people on this site will tell you the truth...like it or not. Sometimes the truth hurts, but is necessary to hear.
You can do this. We're all here to help you.
HW 270 SW 236 GW 160 CW 145 (15 pounds below goal!)
VBG Aug. 7, 1986, Revised to RNY Nov. 18, 2010
if you stick to your surgeon's plan, you'll be fine. People gain back when old habits start sneaking back in again.
Thank you very much, Sparlekitty. I'll order it and start reading right away. This is the best place I've ever found to get information from a number of people, very grateful. 
What a great community!
All surgeries involve gas; the surgeon needs to inflate your abdomen so they will have room to work and perform the procedure. For most people, it's not a big deal and it's all out of your system within a day or two.
If you're trying to learn about surgeries, I really recommend the book "Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies." I gave it to my mom before I had my surgery six years ago, and she said it was a really big help!
Sparklekitty / Julie / Nerdy Little Secret (#42)
Roller derby - cycling - triathlon
VSG 2013, RNY conversion 2019 due to GERD. Trendweight here!
I haven't had surgery yet. I'm waffling between the VSG and RNY. My surgeon hasn't told me his preference for me.
The more I read these posts though, the more worried I'm becoming. I've read quite a few posts about people who are having trouble continuing to lose weight and those who have gained the weight back. That scares the heck out of me.
How do I avoid this after my surgery? I'm already having a hard time sticking to an eating style before the surgery. I've lost a few pounds, but not enough. If I can lose a few pounds why do I need the surgery in the first place? I know, I know it's about maintaining weight loss, but I'm really afraid I'm going to fail and in a year I will not have lost the weight I desire and still won't be able to do the things I want to do after my presumed weight loss.
This process really scares me. I am not a very disciplined person.
Help!?
