I cheated now I'm scared

I am almost 4 weeks out from my surgery and is up to the puree stage of my diet.

But today for some reason I had a very bad anxiety attack, which I am medicated for, and believed I was going to die of I didn't eat something solid. So I went to my fridge and took out a cold piece of KFC wing and bit down on it 3 times before I could snap myself out and threw it out.

Now I'm fighting the urge to panic because I had not only eaten solid food, it was also deep fried and I barely chewed it. I tried to throw it back up but the more I tried the more pain I felt in my gut, like I was trying to squeeze my gut too much.

It's too late to call my doctor now and he won't be open till Monday, am I in a lot of trouble? Should I call the hospital?

Right now I'm just feeling nauseous and nothing else. I can feel my stomach rumbling alot but nothing has happened yet and it doesn't hurt.

Has anyone cheated like me before? Did it cause a lot of complications?

I'm guessing from your post that you're worried about two main things:

Have I hurt my stomach?

At 4 weeks out, your stomach is probably mostly healed. Eating a bite or two of a food that you're not ready for can cause pain and nausea, but probably not permanent damage. Of course, I'm not a doctor, and this is not medical advice, but personally I would wait 1-2 hours, and if I didn't feel better then I would call my medical team. Even if your doctor is not in the office, surely their phone is redirected to an answering service that can either get a message to your doctor, or to someone who is on call for this sort of problem.

Is this the start of a spiral of failure for me?

I think it's quite common for people to make a mistake and try a bit or two of something that they shouldn't. I would take this event seriously (it sounds like you're doing that!) but I wouldn't read too much into it because it's still early days, and you are still learning what works for you. You're facing an extra challenge at the moment because you're so limited in what you can eat. If a couple of months from now, when you're on solid food, you had another panic attack, and your fridge was stocked with appropriate food, I have a feeling you would have made a better choice, perhaps eating a little more that you should, but not going totally overboard.

I occasionally get hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). When it hits I get a panicky feeling -- nowhere near as bad as an anxiety attack, of course -- but enough that I'm not thinking clearly when I grab something to eat. But my fridge is full of healthy choices, so the worst that could happen is that I eat a little more than I should. Since the hypoglycemia only happens 5-6 times a year, it's not really an issue.

Are you actively in therapy? I'd say a call to your therapist is in order, or consider engaging one if you haven't already. This is a great page for support, but we're not good for giving mental health advice.

This isn't usual behaviour and it could get worse if you don't work on it.

Its very easy to get into transfer addictions and eating disorders after this surgery, so best get professional help lined up. Most of us do it if we want to be successful.