I Have Fallen Off the Wagon, Drug it Threw the Mud, Set it on Fire, and Watched it Burn

Posted this in the WLS Grad forum, but that part of the forum doesn't get much traffic.

I rarely post on here. Which is part of the problem. I am not a part of the bariatric community locally or online. My username is FitChickinOnederland. This is no longer true. My lowest weight was 157 (I thought I was a fat whale). Had a panniculectomy almost 2 years ago, finally had a flat stomach and STILL thought I was a land whale. Here I am on February 27, 2020 I sit at 217 pounds. I have gained a whopping 60 lbs. Feeling sick, I went to the immediate care center a few months ago, and test revealed that my sugar was elevated. I was probably 20 pounds lighter, so I can only imagine what it is now. Last night, my aunt noticed a dark spot on my neck, my mom noticed it too. A slight discoloration, just like when I was insulin resistant at 314 pounds. That was my breaking point. My rock bottom. I am not going back to Metformin, I am not going back to my blood pressure meds, bladder problems, joint issues. Not fitting in desk, restaurant booths, seat belts, shopping in plus size stores. I cannot. I will not. I refuse to go up another size.

I will be using the next 39 days of Lent to get back on track. Getting back to the bariatric basics. I just had my first meeting with my campus dietitian, and we're coming up with a game plan. I have been attending Over Eaters Anonymous meetings, and I just got a sponsor. I will also be looking into getting a personal trainer on campus, once my finances allow me to do so.

I am posting here as accountability. I need to immerse myself in the bariatric community. It's one thing to be a part of the weight loss community, but people who just lost weight, don't understand WLS struggles. I need WLS surgery buddies. If anyone wants to, please reach out to me. I have amazing friends, but they don't understand WLS. I need bariatric friends. Message me if you want to connect.

consider participating in the RNY menu group (the one over here in the VSG section seems to have died, but the RNY one is still active, and we do have VSG patients over there. We take everyone!). We post what we're planning to eat for the day every morning, and the group is very supportive. I'm sure I would weigh over 200 lbs again if it weren't for that group!

Thanks, I'll do that!

Please give me more information about this group

it's on this site. Just look at the threads under RNY. The menu threads are always titled something like "What's on your Tuesday Menu, RNY'ers?". People get on there to post their daily menus. There are a lot of "regulars", many of us a year or more out. Some have been on for years I've found them to be very supportive - and a lot of us have become friends. We "talk" about more than just our menus!

There are lots of long term veterans here on OH who have dealt or are dealing with regain.

Staying plugged in and accountable has always been the key for me.

Catwoman 7 has given you great advice about joining the daily RNY thread.

Stick around. Be honest, accept critiques with grace (noone here wants you to fail) and you absolutely can do this

Fitchick, good for you for taking the hardest step ! Using Lent as motivation is brilliant ! Early on in the process, OA helped me quite a bit. Identifying that my disordered eating was a symptom of addiction has been powerful and has helped me be aware of potential transfer addictions. One of my biggest takeaways is that I can choose relapse or recovery... I am always in one of the two places. Welcome to recovery !

Yup, right there with you...even the numbers are almost identical (my lowest was 144) and I'm sitting exactly at 217 now. Though...I was as high as 231, but started back in the wagon mid-January and have lost. I've not been in this community in a LONG time. Just happened upon your post. I'm in Florida. Let's connect!
Michelle

Yep, whole reason I came back to the site. Started at 289, went down to 142 after a VSG and went back up to 186 (now sitting at 176) this past year. I can make all kinds of excuses of why but honestly I just started sneaking back in foods I shouldn't, extra snacking and discovered "slider" foods.

I need to get back into being accountable as well, realizing (again) this is a tool and you have to use it as a tool to succeed.

Welcome back!! I hope your week has gone well. I was up 30 pounds at Christmas but I made a promise to myself to get back on track for my physical AND mental health. Since then I joined WW and have been going to weekly meetings. I am down 14 with 16 more to go. Losing regain is a lot slower, but totally do-able. Good luck!!