7 months post VSG: Looking for my mojo

Hi Everyone - I am so thankful to have found this online forum. I have great local support with my therapist and family (at least my husband who tries to get it) but I have yet to attend a local support group post-op. My doctor's office is great clinically but one does not go there looking for emotional support. Either way, I have enjoyed reading the forum posts and grateful to find so many people to identify with.

Starting weight for me was 245. I was banded in 2010 - lost 50 pounds to achieve pregnancy. Band was removed in 2017 due to constant issues and then I gained it all back. After months of research and therapy sessions, I decided to have VSG in May 2019. Wonderful surgery! Hospital time sucked but after 4 weeks off of work, I felt great and to this date have had literally no issues with any type food - liquids or otherwise. I have lost the 50 pounds again and seem to be hanging out at 193. I have not lost any weight in 4 months. I cannot believe how easy it was to fall back into old habits even with my built-in portion control. I figure you can either adhere to the new diet and rock this lifestyle or you can go back to eating smaller amounts of what you ate before - interesting dilemma.

Regardless of the food, the harder thing for me has been the alcohol. 6 weeks post-op my brother got married and despite the fear of God they put in me for drinking, I went ahead and tried it out after being dry for nearly 2 months. No issues at all - once again, is this too easy? Fast forward to October - 53 pounds lost and I am off to Hawaii. Drinking every day and eating off plan but TONS of exercise - lost a pound during the trip, WTF? Fast forward to now and I have yet to recover from that point in time.

In October for whatever reason, I started getting TERRIBLE TERRIBLE CHRONIC hemorrhoids and was in so much pain, I couldn't even drive or even go to work on some days. This is also the point where I really started losing my hair. Stress at work kicks up, here comes the holiday trifecta and I find myself completely off plan, 1-2-3 drinks almost daily and though I make sure I get my protein and vitamins - I stopped tracking. Gain of 5 pounds since my lowest point.

I am 46, my estrogen crashed so hard after the surgery - I am starting hot flashes and haven't had a cycle since July. I started a mild anti-depressant to get me through the really hard days but overall, I have lost my mojo and that is the issue. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I feel and though I still don't regret having the surgery - I am trying to figure out how to get my mojo back.

Since the New Year, I cut back on the drinking (trying for weekends only) and had a few successful days of tracking so I could lose the 5 pounds (1/2 way there). I plan to attend the support group next week as well. I need a reboot and a kick in the rear, but I don't know how. I want to feel good about myself (not only now) but also want to lose another 40-50 pounds to achieve my goal. Is there such thing as the half-way blues? :-)

It is hard to come onto this forum and admit failure but I need to be honest with myself. I know why I haven't lost any more weight - that part is obvious. The real question is how to get back on track, will I be able to or am I doomed and this is the end for me in terms of post-op success?

I put a picture up from ever evolving storage room/office. Top left is after 20 pounds lost. There is no weight loss between the bottom left (Mid-Sept.) and bottom right (yesterday) but my hair loss is obvious.

Thank you for listening and I am sorry this is so long. Anyone out there identify with this? Are there any drinkers or is it just me? Anyone reach 1/2 of their goal and said to themselves, I am OK with this - let's stop here?

With gratitude,
KM14

The hairloss may be ovbious to you, but it isn't to me. Let me tell you what I see. I see a beautiful, strong woman, with a beautiful, cheery home ,who can do anything she puts her mind to.

Here's my suggestion for getting back on track. First, make it a habit to log everything you eat, without judgement. Once you have a week's worth of data, look back at it and identify one small tweak you can make that will improve your diet without making you feel deprived. That last part is important. If your diet leaves you feeling satisfied, it will be easier to stick to it in the long term. After you make the tweak and live with it a while,, you can consider if you need to make another tweak. Don't try to become perfect overnight!

Another thing I recommend is to start paying attention, again without judgement, to the situations that trigger you to eat unhealthy food. Then come up with a plan for a better way to deal with those situations.

Finally, when you're ready, consider giving up the alcohol altogether. Transfer addiction is just too much of a risk to be worth it, in my opinion.

Thank you so much for your kind words - I knew I was in good company on this forum and I so appreciate your response. Today has been a good day - I hope it is for you too.

like Wombat, I don't see the hair loss, either...

I will be blunt with you: you need to stop drinking alcohol. Not scale down, not when you are ready. Drinking daily is a path to alcoholism. And hopefully it is not too late.

Alcohol addiction post op WLS is a known issues. Alcohol can affect the way we see food, the way we digest food and absorb it. It can affect our blood sugars, causing food cravings..

When I start drinking alcohol, even a few times a week, not daily, I start gaining weight. Plus my hypoglycemia and RH get much worse.

Alcoh has empty calories, but it also can negatively affect fat loss.

Alcoholism is a serious issue. Hopefully you can still stop and you are not there yet. Alcohol can cause damage to our body, liver and brain.

Hugs.

Is the mojo more of a physical thing or mental one? Maybe a little of both? Physical stuff is really just getting back to basics, have you gotten any labs done, maybe you're too low or high in one area or another.

Mental stuff might be a little more difficult. Like finding different ways to deal with stress, like maybe pamper yourself with a spa like bath. I mean you can't take a bath in the middle of a stressful situation, which would be funny as hell if we could do that! Just think about what makes you feel happy & peaceful.

You really need to think about why you're drinking & if it's really worth it. I like drinking too, but that had to change after surgery. Hanging with friends, special occasions etc is handled much differently now. No more drinking to relax or blend in, had to find other non alcoholic ways on dealing with that. I'm not saying don't drink ever, but it really can't be a regular thing anymore.

If you're cutting back to weekends to drink, you might be on the cusp of having a problem.

Hi, your letter was very informative. i am investigating getting a VSG and found your letter very interesting . a lot of the things i guess i didn't really think of happening. i do know a friend that had surgery and was very unhappy that she started to drink heavily and needed an intervention ! it is quiet scary to think that you trade one habit for another. you seem to have a great plan started, i wish you the best on your journey. i also don't see the hair loss in your picture, you look lovely.

If you don't get on-track pronto, you will gain it all back plus more.

I have been a member of this community since 2007 and have seen that more times than I can count.

Listen to the others- give up the alcohol and start tracking every bite. Make healthy food choices.

You can do this, but you have to want to do it.

Good luck.

Thank you everyone for the support and replies. I hadn't visited the site in a while and didn't notice I had so many supportive comments. I am grateful to this community and for having a place to be honest about what I am going through. I am seeing my therapist next week and working through things one day at a time. My tracking was better last week but still couldn't make it through a full day. It's Sunday morning and I've had 10 drinks since Wednesday night.

I hear you and understand this may sound extreme but I am mindful that it's too much and certainly a huge reason as to why I am not losing weight. My lifestyle has embraced alcohol for many many years - my husband brews beer, we are wine enthusiasts and we are very social with others who drink. I am not making excuses, I am just saying that if this is truly the root of my issues, it is going to be a process and not easy.

My therapist even told me it was a slippery slope and tried to kick me in the ass back in July when this was starting to happen but I was still losing weight and didn't take her as seriously as I should have.

Thank you again to everybody! I know what I have to do so I am happy to keep posting honest updates. I am not afraid of criticism, judgement or tough love. It's refreshing to be so honest.

Have a great week!