Just starting my journey need advice

I have just started this journey on going through all the qualifications to get approval from insurance for the VSG surgery. My BMI is right on the border of even qualifying, meaning if I lose even 3 pounds my BMI won't be accepted by insurance. I have yo yo'd most of my life losing and gaining the same 25-30 pounds. I am now 40 years old and want to use this surgery as a tool to help me get past that hump. But mentally I have been having a hard time with being told to not lose any weight and just maintain to be able to qualify for surgery. Part of me is like "Should I not have surgery and try to lose weight again on my own" because being told to stay the same is for some reason making me feel weird. I know it's only two months and chances are if I tried to do it again on my own I known I wouldn't be successful. I would just love some support and insight because I feel like this could change my life for the better. Thanks

It will change your life for the better, yes. I am not sure why being asked not to lose weight makes you feel strange, since all it was said for is insurance reasons. Insurance companies are very nit-picky and it is likely you might be on the cusp of either it being covered, or not.

I guess the fact being told to stay where I am now puts some doubt in my mind because it makes me second guess should I just take this time and try to lose weight on my own and if I do then just forget about the surgery. I don't know why my train of thought is like this because I have always lost some weight and then regained it back. Maybe it's because I am right on the border of being overweight but not as overweight where I qualify for surgery. Maybe I'm thinking to myself WHY can't you do this yourself?

Okay. I understand your train of thought then. I had the same thought and I was very very heavy. I wondered if I was just not dedicated enough before, but if I hadn't had the surgery I never would have lost weight. I would have continued the cycle. The surgery is more than weight loss. It is a chance to start fresh and change our way of living. No more cycles.

I was right on the cusp also for qualifying for a referral into the bariatric program to get VSG surgery. I had to maintain that weight for a few weeks before my program started and they recorded my body analysis.

Then my insurance qualified me by allowing me to move forward in the program. I had to do 12 weeks of classes that dealt with exercise, nutrition, mental health, and other weight related issues. I have Kaiser insurance by the way.

I had to lose 10% of my weight to actually have the surgery. I started at 247, dropped to 224 during that 12 weeks and then after my liquid diet, I was 213 on the day of my surgery.

I had lost a ton of weight on my own before multiple times, but it never stuck. I always gained it all back plus more. For instance, I was 185 in 2014 after losing 65 pounds on my own... then had some tragic events happen and I gained 100 in a year. I treated my body horribly by losing and gaining huge amounts of weight.

I had enough. And actually, my marriage was falling apart because of it. The decision to have this surgery in July of this year (2018) was the best one I've made. Do it for you. Many of us on this forum felt like you do. However, your life will change immensely.

I'd avoid the surgery if I was you. I say that because the surgery is really just a small part of it. The real success comes from following a very strict diet and sticking to it. If you can't follow the diet, the surgery will be useless and you'll just gain the weight back again. Your stomach will stretch back out after a year or so. Exercise is key too. With diet and exercise you could save the money and headaches that go with this procedure. Put the money towards a personal trainer.

Think of it this way, your stomach will be 2 oz after surgery. Get a food scale and weigh 2 oz of food or 1/4 cup of soup. That's your entire meal and you get 3 of those a day. It's actually difficult to make such small meals. I eat roughly 500 calories a day right now. I'm 7 weeks post surgery. Also you will be on a liquid diet for weeks. Lastly, you will have to spend hundreds of dollars regularly on vitamins and shake mix.

I'd treat this surgery as a last resort. Sounds like you just need a little help.

The only message I can give you is that only you can make this decision.

But with the benefit of age(I am 58) I can tell you I wish I had the benefits of surgery at a younger age. I just had my surgery, finally, at the end of October, so the jury is still out, but I have hopes.

My sister had an RNY at the age of 43, lost 120 lbs, got wildly promoted at her job, and got married for the first time at the age of 50.

What got me thinking seriously about surgery was when I tipped the scales at 300. That was in 2009. In 2010, I had a failed gastric bypass where they told me to lose 30 lbs. I was very discouraged (nothing like waking up and being told they couldn't do the surgery) and it wasn't until I found my current surgeon who encouraged me to lose the weight in a positive way. That isn't common.

Anyway, I had the surgery and haven't had any regret some speak of, but there were no complications.

So think about it. Yes, you have to go through a lot but if my sister is an example it's definitely worth it.

Good luck.

So they actually put you under for surgery and then told you they couldnt do it? May I ask why?

Because my liver was too large. Tests had revealed my liver was oversize, but the surgeon told me they don't know until they get in there whether it is too big or not. So they did cut me open and I still have my scars from it, along with the wounds (not scars yet) from the second surgery. The first was certainly a disappointment.

I see your surgery is upcoming. Good luck and try not to worry too much. What happened to me doesn't happen too often.