Pity party

I have been greatly struggling with old food habits for the past several days. Each night once the kids are in bed I have gone to the kitchen and eaten as much as I could tolerate. I've gained several pounds in less than a week. Sometimes it feels like I am possessed as though I am watching myself make these self-destructive choices but can't snap myself out of it. I am so disappointed in my actions and also feeling quite sorry for myself, which then makes me even more annoyed as I know how lucky I am in life and I am responsible for my own actions.

I have been working with a new therapist for a few weeks, but I'm starting to think her approach is not a good fit for me. The most frustrating thing is that I am a therapist and I know what I would say to a client, but the whole "physician heal thyself" thing just does not work.

I guess I am posting here for a few reasons. Accountability mainly. Hoping that by speaking out loud the self-destructive actions I'm taking it may help me snap out of it. Also, I know some of you can understand where I'm coming from and that alone is helpful. Finally, advice. Have any of you found yourself in this sort of state. How did you get back on track when your old demons seemed to be in the driver's seat?

Thanks for listening.

I've found being unprepared with MY snacks tend to lead me to eat things I shouldn't. If I have a sugar free pecan candy in the pantry, I'm most likely to get it before bed to snack on than to dig into the other things but they must be forefront in the pantry and my line of sight.

However, I would recommend absolutely finding a new therapist. You know from your training, not every method works for everyone.

You posted here for accountability and help, and I think that's the right step. Stay here. Start posting on the daily "what you're eating" posts. Start building the habit of checking in and being honest with yourself. Self-evaluation is an incredible tool. Start tracking your food and daily habits. Is there a trigger to the eating? Stress? Lack of sleep? Too many sugary treats throughout the day?

Do you have pictures from before that you can compare to now? Looking at where you are and setting goals is a valuable motivational tool. Especially when we want to avoid the mentality of, "I've already failed today so I might as well eat this too."

Just my 2 cents. Glad to see you here.

Thank you so much for your input and your ideas. It's so helpful. I usually post on the VSG menu thread, but haven't this week since I was off the rails. I'll get back to that. And I'm going to work more on self-evaluation so I can identify the precipitating factors.

Well I would just say that you have done so well. Don?t get down on yourself now. Just turn it around. You know exactly what to do. I have had a few bad weeks myself. Seems like after I came back from vacation I fell into some bad habits. Luckily no gain, and still very slow weight loss for me, but nevertheless I know I?m not doing what is right. I?ve changed some things up today. I?m lowering my calories a bit, upping my protein, lowering my carbs, and increasing my fluids.

It?s back to the basics for me. If you?re like me, you know what to do, now you just have to do it!

Thanks Shannon. Yeah, you're right we do know what to do, it's just the matter of doing. Back to basics is exactly what I need.

Jess, I don't think it is pity, I think it is reality and I for one am glad you are sharing this it reminds everyone that this is not a fix but a tool and not always easy. I am not sure what you can do other than maybe get something to eat after the kids go to bed that is a good choice, like protein? OR go to bed yourself? I have been dealing with a bit of overeating this week (or two) and I have found that having a Pumpkin Spice coffee when it hits at night seems to help me regain control and I've finally lost what I had regained just this morning!

As a therapist myself I can tell you, if you are anything like me, we can dance around those working with us if they are not right for us, obviously your last one worked for you and this one is not, so get a new one because you matter!

I think opening up on here is a great idea, you are holding yourself accountable in a way by doing this and you also will get words of wisdom from those further down the road that had to deal with this same issues and that is the kind of party you need! You not only CAN do this, you WILL!

Cheri thank you so much for the encouragement and advice. It is helpful to be heard by people who truly understand.

Jess,

You have made a good start on changing this. Admission to self is the first step to change. The others have given you some things that should help.

Consider this a well. Since the trigger time is after the kiddo's are in bed.. set that time aside for something for yourself.. consider a low calorie cup of hot tea, and a low calorie snack you have planned and accounted for. Also include an activity to keep your hands and mind busy. The craft component and satisfaction of producing gifts can be satisfying, giving an emotional reward. It can be something like counted cross stitch or plastic canvass, if you have not done any of these before.

This is a time, for me for a private study, or for crafts. I crochet for myself( dishtowels and dishcloths) and for gifts for others ..ie baby blankets, youth blankets for the children in our family. Other ideas are a planning time for considering gifts,activities, and such for the holidays/ birthdays ect, or .Reading a favorite magazine, or book.

Thank you! I think keeping myself busy with crafts is a great idea!

Get a new therapist you like. That will solve half the problem.