4 years out- feeling sad and discouraged

Hi Everyone,

Lately I can't help but mourn my life directly post op when I was feeling great and steadily losing weight. I had surgery in 2014 and was at my lowest weight of 152 and still steadily losing until I got pregnant in December of 2015. During pregnancy I got up to 214 lbs (the day I delivered). The lowest weight Ingot to after having DD1 was 179. I stayed between 179-186 until I got pregnant with DD2 in December of 2017. I am not one month postpartum/post-op (had to have a c-section this time) and am not cleared to work out yet. This pregnancy I was 238 when a I delivered, and am now at 206. I am breastfeeding but struggle to keep my supply up (had the same problem with DD1 and I think it's due to the surgery). I spend most of the day feeling sad and mourning my "old" body. I've been eating healthy (lean protein first, no starchy carbs) the last two weeks and managed to gain two pounds. At this point I'm feeling like I'll never be small again. It doesn't help that I'm in a wedding in 21 days and dress is about half an inch from zipping at my waist. I don't know what to do at this point and am considering working out against doctor advice.

Hey, I remember you!

Are you seeing a therapist? I think that would be the best place for you to start, since it's sounds like you're dealing with a lot of really challenging stuff! Childbirth, c-section, weight gain, weight loss, breastfeeding, having a 2 year old as well.. that's a lot to cope with. I think that talking with your doctor or a therapist about how you're feeling could be a really useful tactic for you right now.

Do NOT start exercising against your doctor's advice.

Mama, you're still full of post partum hormones, you're tired, your body is healing, and breastfeeding is hard, emotional work. Foremost, be kind to yourself.

Why do you think surgery is hurting your milk supply? I had some supply issues early on with my first kid and I didn't have a surgery then and had plenty of calories in. Have you tried fenugreek? Have you seen a lactation specialist?

Don't stress on exercise. You're burning plenty of calories caring for Baby and healing.

You didn't gain two lbs eating like you are eating. It's water weight, some hormonal weirdness, or something else.

Finally, screw the dress. If you need to get it altered or need to wear spans or even get a new dress, do that. You just had a baby and you're taking care of another child as well. I know what that feels like--sometimes all the worrie**** you at once. Take a breath, do what you can do now, focus on what matters the most and let the rest wait.

(and if you think some of this may be PPD, there is help out there!)

Hey! So you have two beautiful babies, and despite your pregnancy gains you seem to have somewhat of a grip because you are losing! I think what you've accomplished is pretty awesome, because with each of my babies I stayed the exact weight I was at 9mnths pregnant. You are going in the right direction. Most of the time the answer lies right within us. Either too much snacking, or caloric intake. Tweak what your doing. Log your calories though MFP, and get it together! You also need to focus on protein because your baby will deplete you. . I would probably guess you need 100 gms (at least per day) while breastfeeding (of course please confirm with your OB). Also fluids and multivitamins are a must! Wishing you the best, and congrats on your newest bundle. You've got this!

Follow what Shannon has said, I know a mom who did VSG lost to goal and just had a baby, she keeps her protein UP and is producing a lot of milk. She also had a C-section and those are hard on the body, I've had 2, you will need to give your body time to heal and then start workouts do NOT go against your Dr. you could hurt your body very badly. As hard as it is, just love those babies and hang in there you are going to get back on track soon!

Congrats on 2 beautiful baby girls! I wasn't able to have children due to infertility so am unfamiliar with all you're going through, but I think you're doing great and should be proud of yourself!

My only tip is that weight loss happens in the kitchen not the gym. This means you should focus on your food intake, calories, and macros, and not on exercise. Definitely don't start exercising early as it could cause other issues, including some weight gain. Where exercise is helpful is to MAINTAIN weight loss once you reach goal, stress relief, cardiac health, joint flexibility, and building up muscles. Too many people think if they work out really hard they will lose more weight but that is rarely the case.

Don't be so hard on yourself, life happens!!! I maintained 118-125 for over 10 years after losing 200 pounds. Due to a personal tragedy I gained and hit the 190 mark a year ago. After several starts it finally clicked and I am back to goal losing 70 pounds of regain. Here are some steps that helped me and I hope they will help you too! You may have several starts and stops but don't give up, don't beat yourself up. IT WILL CLICK!!! Our tool works if we work the tool and get back to the basics.

Planning/Preparing

Remember when we were preparing for surgery? How many meetings, classes and such did we attend? We were told the more prepared we were the better our chances were for success. And they were right. Go through the house, car and work place and get rid of trigger foods. Stock up on foods that will keep you on track. I removed every bad carb/sugar temptation and replaced it with lots of protein, veggies, grains and fruits.

Journaling

Get back to journaling. This will help you identify when you feel like eating, stress factors and any triggers in your life. Once you identify these factors, this will help you put tools in place to keep you from eating. It became clear I was not taking time for me anymore. I worked my day job and then spent the rest of my time caring for my husband. It was easy to reach for fast, prepackaged food. Since I purged my home I have to eat clean as there are no other options LOL

Use a tool to track you're eating and exercise like Getting Started with Health Tracker. Once I started to track ever bite and drink it became clear why I had gained.

Goals/Rewards

Make a list of goals for yourself. Make them realistic and small. Some of mine were move more, purge all junk from my home, eat more protein. If you didn't make a Weight Loss Surgery bucket list when you first had surgery do it now. GREAT reminder of all the things you can enjoy in life after losing weight.

Food

In general, a long term post-weight loss surgery eating plan includes foods that are high in protein, and low in fat?, calories, and sugar. Important, vitamins and minerals are provided as supplements. (if you had a different surgery adjust this to your food plan).

Water

Water is our Best Friend. I have to say I never went back to pop or any bad drinks, however I was drinking tea like crazy. What is wrong with drinking tea? I was either using sugar or 3 equals and 3 sweet n lows per 32 ounce glass. I found once I started carrying one of the metal bottles of water to keep it cold I drank water all day.

MOVE!

I can't say enough about how key this was for me. The reason I kept my weight off for almost 10 years was no matter what, I kept moving. If I could not go to the gym I would walk. Grab a cart and walk all the isles at your local box store. I loved Zumba, bootcamp workouts, lifting weights. When I stopped, the weight started coming back. So for me I am starting slow to avoid injury by walking and using some of the workouts on my Demand TV. Find something you love to do and it won't feel like a pain in the *** to do daily.

Support

If it's an option "run" don't walk to a support group. Come here on OH daily for support and participate in one of the food threads. It helps you be accountable and also great ideas for food prep.

Keep me posted on how you are doing.

Hi everyone, thank you for your kind words! I have been focusing on making sure I'm eating enough and the right things! Since I posted this I am down 6 lbs!!!