Almost Five Months

Post-op. I am struggling...a lot.

i've come to a few realizations the past few weeks. I've got far less there for you friends than I thought. AND that it has always been that way. It's ok that not everyone likes me. The fat on me was/is no "protection" but it made it easier to shrink into a hole.

I'm still waiting to hear back from two calls to the psychologist's office. They have blown me off both times, promising a call back. I don't expect all the answers but I need to start getting help ASAP. So with all that I've decided to go through the clinic I get my psychiatric care from. I also feel a change in meds for my BPD and anxiety. I go on the 16th to talk with my case manager.

if someone tells you that WLS is the easy way out, do me a favor? Kick em in the shin for me!

I got your back. WLS is definitely not the easy way out. For most of us who opt for it, it's the only feasible way out of obesity. But it sure ain't easy!

But even if WLS were the "easy way out", so what? Life is hard. I'm sure even the happiest person in the world has plenty of other challenges in life, more than enough to build character or whatever else struggle is supposed to do for you. It's not as though we're going to become spoiled if we lose weight!

Thank you!!! I think if I hear one more person I know actually say that to me I might lose it! It's different when it's someone who has seen you struggle say something that stupid. Ahhhhh!

I'll be sleeved on Monday. Any advice since youre five months out

Whenever someone says WLS is the easy way, I make sure to tell them in no uncertain terms, that WLS and the work required after has been the hardest I've worked at losing weight in my life!! There's nothing easy about it if you want to get the weight off and keep it off.

I have chronic depression, although it's well-managed with medication. I know it's very different from BPD, but I wanted to share some techniques I use, in case they help you while you're going through a rough time. These techniques don't make the depression go away, but I do find they take the edge off, making it easier to manage until my mood changes or I can get the appropriate help.

• I try not to think about anything that's bothering me. I know that sounds very trite! But as soon as a sad thought enters my mind, I say to myself "I'm not well enough to cope with that right now, so I'm not going to think about it." I can't keep it up for very long, but it does get me through the first 24 hours of a bad patch.
• I watch comedies on YouTube or Netflix, or anything that will distract me from the low mood. I'm not making light of the depression; you can't laugh it away. But I find the distraction helps a little.
• I call a friend. Even if I choose not to talk about how I'm feeling, hearing the voice of a friend makes me feel a little better.
• I take a "mindfulness holiday" for a few hours, or a whole day. This is easier if you practice it ahead of time, when you're feeling OK. Basically, anything you do, pay attention to all of the sensations you're experiencing. If you wash the dishes, you feel the temperature of the water and how it feels on your (gloved?) hands. You listen for and feel the "squeak" when the plate is clean. You notice the smell of the dish soap. And so on. The brain can only process information at a certain rate. If you keep it busy processing all of those sensations, it won't have as much time to generate sad thoughts.
• I used a website called Patients Like Me (www.patientslikeme.com). They have a very comprehensive mood map that you fill out. By filling it out regularly over a period of several months, I noticed some early warning signs that a low mood was coming. (For example, one of my early warning signs is a vague thought that I've let someone down or embarassed myself, even though I can't remember when or where.) That gives me a chance to take some preventive action, like avoiding anything that will stress me out, and perhaps treating myself to something nice. Even if I can't prevent the low mood, I can often reduce the severity.

I think I've already given you all the suggestions I have to give, so I'll just give you this:

Glad you've got an appointment to hopefully get the ball rolling on getting some help. None of this is easy. And there's so much ignorance out there about wls, obesity, mental health, you name it.

I've struggled with depression on and off my entire adult life. Although not the same as BPD, what's funny is the very best therapy I've ever had is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, which is now starting to be used for depression, eating disorders, and addictions, as well as BPD. It's even helped enormously with me getting a better handle on my ADHD.

Anyway, I'm an newbie and don't have much wisdom to offer. Just wanted to say you're not alone, and I hope your meeting next week goes well.

The struggle is real, too real. I have been battling the ups and downs for over 20 years. I have been on medication just as long. My psychiatrist believes that I am borderline BP as I exhibit most but not all symptoms and has been treating me with anti- depressants and anxiety medications accordingly. He wont even consider changing my meds for the first year post surgery.

Since surgery (March 2018), I have found my 2 best female friends (both overweight) have distanced themselves from me to the point where I can't even get a text or phone call returned. My co- workers look at me differently. I don't preach about being over weight and the ill health effects that it has on our body nor do I preach about WLS. In fact, I am quite low key about it unless I am asked.

WLS is NOT the easy way out. It is a tool that we use to get ourselves better and away from death's doorstep.

I'm glad I did it and I don't care if people look at me sideways.. I feel better, I will live longer and my husband loves my new "side handles"

*hugs to all*