Whatcha Eating Today VSGers? Sunday, 7/29/2018

Happy Sunday evening. I had a rough go of it today, and since I post every day when I'm making good choices I felt it would be dishonest not to own up to a disaster of a day like today. I woke up and felt overcome with diet fatigue. I had my normal coffee & protein this morning and a healthy lunch of turkey soup but then I started snacking and went kind of nuts. Throughout the remainder of the night I ate and ate. I had chips and guacamole, an English muffin, a cookie, pizza for dinner, and a Twix bar. Around 2200 calories all told.

I feel sick and ashamed and a mix of angry with myself and... sad I guess. Food will always be an issue for me. I've been building up coping skills and developing responses to cravings and urges to eat off plan, but I've got a long way to go.

Here is what I'm proud of. I'm proud that I still went to yoga and worked out on the elliptical (when I used to screw up I would also cancel workouts... because obviously you can't eat a candy bar AND work out). I'm proud that I'm not keeping this a secret and pretending I'm executing this perfectly (as some here seem admirably able to do). And I'm proud that I'm putting a stop to it right now instead of falling off the wagon into quicksand like I used to do.

Once I finish with neurofeedback I plan to return to counseling. I hope I can find someone I click with who understand the dynamics involved with eating disorders and wls. I know I need the help.

Sorry to be a bummer, thanks for indulging me. I'll see you all tomorrow with a menu I can be proud of.

You got this Jess! You should be proud of how far you have come and I know how hard it is. We all have rough days even if some people don't want to admit it. Tomorrow is a brand new day!

Thank you so much! Today has been much better.

I know this is a day late, but I think it's incredible that you were willing to share your trouble eating last night with us. It's very brave. Food will always be difficult for a lot of us. Important thing is to accept our mistakes, but to never feel ashamed. We should not ever feel shame because of food, it starts a terrible cycle that's hard to break.

Thank you for the encouragement and advice Mersh. I really appreciate it. Unfortunately shame around food is not new for me, but I'm working on reframing my thinking. Two steps forward one step back it seems, but as long as I can keep making progress.