Family negativity

I'm still 6 months out from WLS so its a bit different. My wife and kids know I want WLS and they are 100% supportive of the surgery. Supportive of the diet? Not so much, but that's a story for a different post. I've told my siblings and parents the half-truth. I've told them I'm considering WLS, but am doing the 6-month weight management program first and will decide whether or not to get surgery after I complete the 6 month program. I have only told my direct boss at work that I am considering, because I don't want to surprise her when I request 2 weeks off. I'd not said a word to any of my co-workers, and I doubt I ever will. I work with a bunch of young super athletic 20 something's. They definitely wouldn't understand. I haven't told any friends or extended family. My wife's family knows because she can't keep a secret, but they are so messed up me getting WLS is hardly news-worthy.

You may end up with more in common with the athletic 20 somethings as they may view you as proactive about your health.

I find the phrase "why ever would you want to know" a good way to put the question back on them. Not unkindly.

Life is too short to spend you're time caring about people who are insensitive.

You've made a wonderful decision!

My dad dealt me life-long criticism about my weight. I had so much fear about telling my parents that I consulted with my therapist. That was helpful, so I would suggest if your surgeon has a therapist they work in tandem with it's worth the hour and $ to talk with them briefly. Or find someone who works with WLS patients.

Therapist said focus on the message "I'm doing it because I care about being strong and healthy." etc. My surgeon's office provides a binder on the surgeries that are offered and exactly step by step what happens. There is also a great New York Times article about bariatric surgery on-line. I printed out that story and took my binder to my folks house and sat down and talked with them. I'm happy to say it was life altering and my dad told me how proud he was of me for being so courageous as to take this serious step. I believe understanding came through education for my parents.

I've had to tell a couple of friends that while I value their friendship, when we go out to eat they are not allowed to make ANY comments on what I'm eating. I remind them that they trust me to drive their children in my car, so certainly I can be trusted to choose my own food. My besties know I've had the surgery, not my extended circle.

Lastly, when I went to my initial meeting for surgery the surgeon stood up in front of the room and announced "I guarantee that you will lose at least one friend, but I also guarantee it will be a life changing decision." I'm not advocating you attempt to educate everyone you come across, but for me, attempting to educate the people I cared about was the right decision.

Hang it there you are doing the right thing for yourself!

I didn't tell anyone outside of my immediate family until it was over with ... then I just announced on facebook and included a statement that unless you were a doctor your opinions on my medical care was not needed. I got nothing but support and a few folks that were interested in the process because they were thinking about having the surgery themselves.