Family negativity

So how did everyone deal with this?

I hadn't told one family member until this morning, the day of my surgery! And I only told them at my daughters insistance in case something went wrong.

I pointed out to this family memberI hadn't advised them as I didn't want any negativity (or to be talked out of it). So of course I got negative feedback. Told It's called exercise. Yeah done that several times over the last few decades.....still fat. I'm not upset or second guessing my decision but am a little hurt. How did you all deal with it?

Looking forward to some replies when I come out of theatre this afternoon.

I would recommend never bringing the subject up with this person again, and changing the subject if they bring it up. Rely on other people for your support going forward. :)

Told my husband, my two teen daughters and my two best friends. Didn't tell my mother. Didn't tell my sister. I knew neither would understand. I knew my mother would be judgmental. I'm almost 2 years out. Mom's dead (thank G-d) but my sister still doesn't know. I'm down about 110. I'm smaller now than I was in college.

As for people who are negative or saying idiotic things, that's when you look at them and say - so did you have sex with your spouse last night? And when they look shocked, say, well if my body is your business, your body is my business. Did he/she like it? Any complaints? They'll get the hint quickly that this is a subject not open for discussion.

I would very nicely say, "thank you for your advice" and then carry on and never think about it again.

I absolutely shut people down. It is my body and my decision. I neither need nor desire unasked for opinions, as I am a capable adult.

I didn't really shy away from telling anyone, and I blogged about it so it's not like it was a secret.

But I didn't deliberately inform most people ahead of time. My husband and daughter were involved in the decision, and my sister had it done and had been advocating for it for years. So the only real family issue I anticipated was my parents.

My Dad has always been the kind who says "it's a simple formula, calories out exceed calories in" and he was able to completely change his diet and exercise after a heart attack a couple decades ago. He truly doesn't understand people who can't just decide to change and follow through. Or what it's like to fight obesity, because our bodies at a certain point start fighting tooth and nail to keep the weight on.

Most of the information I gave them is in my blog post about it:

http://www.theantichick.com/2016/08/05/the-easy-way-out/

I told them what the studies showed about the efficacy of WLS, and that my medical team had encouraged it, especially my rheumatologist because of the potential to manage my auto-immune better. They of course were worried about the risks, and I explained how this was as safe (or safer) than gall bladder removal. Nothing's 100% but I've had anesthesia before and had no issues, so there was no reason to expect any with this surgery.

It was funny though, because their major concern was that I was going to become the food police and talk nonstop about the surgery and weight loss at every dinner and family gathering. Because my sis did that. I pointed out that I'm not tempermentally like my sis at all, and frankly there's more interesting things to discuss than food and diet when everyone gets together. Unless someone asks me why I'm eating so little or not trying the pie or whatever, I don't get into it.

Now they're huge advocates for WLS after they've seen my success and the fact that I did not in fact turn into the food police or start preaching about WLS at every opportunity. They now want me to visit with obese family members and convince them to try it. LOL.

Bottom line, it's your body, your health, and your decision. It's nice to have family and friends support you, but the reality is some of them won't. Just tell them you've made your decision, you hear their concerns, and you'd appreciate only helpful feedback in the future. And then refuse to discuss it with them further. Boundaries with family are wonderful things.

I have ran into this as well with family :-( My mother tells me absolutely EVERYTHING that can go wrong and my brother tells me how he is loosing weight (as he lays in a hospital bed from food poisoning from fast food). And of course our genetic make up MUST be the same since we have the same parents LOL.

I tell them thank you and I understand and appreciate their view on it but opinions are like a..holes. everyone has one and they always stink. I have also told my mom she can either support me or she can move out of my way. I am an adult and made an adult decision on what I feel is right for me so support or shut up are her choices. I do that very calm, polite and a smile on my face. I think we spend too much of our lives worried about what others think of us especially family and for some of us that is why we at where we are :-( so cutting everyone else's opinions loose like a deflating balloon and letting it go is the healthy thing for me to do. If they try to bring it up again I tell them I am not discussing it unless it is a supportive discussion because negative is part of why I am here at this point. Good luck and just know YOU GOT THIS!!!

I'm going to steal the a..hole line. Thanks. ?

I told everyone afterwards and didn't invite opinions. I have very clear rules with my family and friends on boundaries, so they know my bottom line and don't cross it.

It's saved our relationships on more than one occasion.

I highly recommend it.

I'm so sorry you have a negative gnat in your ear. You have probably tried every diet and exercise plan under the sun like the rest of us. She simply doesn't get it and will probably judge you for "taking the easy way out"--which is bunk. This is a journey that will change your life in some good ways; however, not everyone is supportive. I suggest not talking anything weight related with people like this because you don't need that.Surround yourself with as many positive thinkers as possible!