Dating after surgery

Hi everyone. I am new here. I am waiting to have surgery but I was wondering, how do you guys feel about dating after weight loss? I was skinny most of my life (eating disorders forever too). I have gained so much weight in the last couple years. I haven't dated since my daughter was born b/c I have never been comfortable being overweight. My daughter btw is almost 15!! Yep. I am so happy to be going into this journey but now I fear the loose skin will be a whole other obstacle. I am in therapy but I really wanted to talk to some people who have been through this. Thanks for helping me through!!

I have dated a few times and that has never been an issue. You might find you are one of the fortunate ones and have loose skin somewhere not seen right away.The less time you have been heavy and the younger you are will more than likely be in your favor. If it really bothers you there is always plastics. You are just going to be so happy about your health and the way you feel you will be to the moon and back.

Thank you for the feedback!! I really am so looking forward to being able to be active again. I can't wait to feel better. I guess sometimes I get stuc******b stuff but I really just want to feel better again, and just don't want to lose sight of the true goal. Thanks again?

I'm a bit embarrassed by my loose skin, but as a 54-year-old who dates women my own age, I can say that most guys realize that eventually gravity wins, and we all have something that didn't look like it did when we were 20. Just be happy with yourself, and realize there are 3.3 billion guys out there, finding the right one is going to take some time, but with the right attitude it can be fun.

Keep in mind that a genuine smile and learned, sustained confidence covers a multitude of hanging skin!

I'm married and I'm still nervous about the skin, so I know what your going through. My only advice would be just to love yourself, and know that a partner worth having is one that accepts you for your flaws and all.

Not everybody has a ton of loose skin. After losing 140lb, my stomach looked like I'd given birth (which I hadn't at that point), which was totally manageable with shapewear.

If you find somebody who loves you for you, saggy skin won't matter.

I'm 40, had one baby, and lost 100lbs. I'm 1year and 2 mos post VSG. For a bit, my extra skin was appalling (to me) Now I'm noticing that my stomach and thighs seem to be improving. My arms look much better. And my ta tas are, well, very deflated.

I have not dated since I left my son's father, which is going on six years now. It's surreal for me to even write that! I have other issues that have kept me from dating, which overshadow the WLS issues. I tried a dating site, and rec'd a very positive response. I went on two coffee dates, and then became overwhelmed and quit. Did you know it's completely expected to text with someone every day even if you've just had coffee with him one time?? I told my therapist that I thought it was invasive that this man was texting me "good morning" in the a.m., "how's it going" at lunchtime, chatting in the evening, and "good night" at bed. She laughed and told me that this is a very normal way to show interest. But it felt so intrusive and way less interesting-- because who has something interesting to say all day to a virtual stranger? Plus, this constant contact eliminates intrigue. No exciting wait for the date this weekend because you're talking all day. Ultimately, and sadly, it triggered my fight/flight response and I've since quit dating again.

I promise, I'm a fairly normal person! I'm just bringing this up because, well, you haven't dated since your daughter was born. My advice is to take it slow, have fun, be gentle with yourself, and to allow yourself to uphold the standards you deserve. Definitely continue with therapy. I have been surprised how little my weight (or weight loss) actually has to do with my confidence or ability to put myself "out there".

*hug* and buen suerte.

I love this topic and will be doing a youtube video on it soon. I had the vsg when I was 18 years old. I lost 200 pounds and you bet I had a lot of extra skin on my arms, legs, stomach. I was young and concerned about dating as well. In short- this is what I learned.

I decided to be up front with the person I was dating. I let them know I had WLS and how much I lost. I did this because 1. I didn't want eating out to be awkward if I got full after a few bites. 2. It's a huge part of my life and anyone who wanted to be apart of my life should know about it.

I saw it this way- If the person can't take you as you are, they don't deserve you. I met my husband in 2014 after I lost all the weight. He didn't care about extra skin, and loved me for me. Well, 4 years later we are married, two children, and I have had multiple skin removal surgeries (my choice) and he still loves me.

I'll be making a video on relationships and dating after wls soon because it's common to worry about this!