1 Month Surgiversary! (With some personal reflection, very long, sorry!)

Well! I cannot believe that it has already been a whole month! I was in anticipation (with some nervousness) for several months so it feels odd not to have that feeling anymore.

I was 393 at my highest and this is around when I started the paperwork process. I must admit, for the first couple of months of the process I did not change my eating. I think I was still in denial and thinking that I could lose the weight on my own, whenever I felt like it. My therapist has really helped me become more aware of my actions and emotions and some of my behaviour. I really feel like that was invaluable and still is to some extent... I think part of it is going through the thought process of explaining yourself to someone else. I think this reflection is useful.

Anyway, I got down to 378 by my official surgery consultation appointment. Insurance approved me in a few days and my surgery was scheduled. Bam!

I still kind of regret not taking advantage of the entire time I had before surgery, but I can't change that now. I followed my pre-op diet religiously, and I was 350 a couple weeks later on the day of my surgery. Yesterday, I weighed and I am down to 325. Hw: 393 Pre-op: 378 Sw: 350 CW: 325

I was inwardly berating myself yesterday because I've only lost 25 pounds in the last month. Then, I thought about how silly that was. I've had a little stall but I still lost 25 lbs in 30 days even without hitting my water goes the first couple weeks. Isn't it crazy how we put ourselves in denial, BUT when we are doing well, we berate ourselves?

There was a question the other day about self-compassion. Basically, I take it to mean treating yourself just as well as you would treat someone that you love. I'm going to try to do this more; I think we all should. Sometimes we do need to give ourselves tough love, but sometimes we need compassion.

NSV-----

1. One of my kiddos is in a musical at a local community theatre called Dogfight. Typically, going out always involved trying the chair and then asking for alternate accommodations because I either didn't fit or my legs were so pinched that it was cutting off my circulation. I went with a couple of other teacher friends last weekend, and the chair was comfortable! I almost cried.
2. A very good friend of mine that I don't get to see very often got engaged recently. We live about an hour or so away from each other, so we met halfway at a Steakhouse last night. I FIT IN in the booth. I was good; I ordered a steamed green beans with no butter and the kids grilled chicken strips (3.2 oz. of chicken...legit brought my scale, not embarrassed at all) I was able to eat almost all of the chicken and a couple beans.
3. I wore jeans that I haven't fit into in a year, and a 2X top. It was snug, but it fit! I was in 4X polos before surgery and now I have a couple 2X that I wear to work. I'm at my second job right now, and I'm wearing a pair of 22/24 pants and a 2X work shirt (compared to the 26/28 pants and 3-4X shirts I was wearing 1 month ago!) These clothing changes really help me acknowledge my weight loss. When I look in the mirror, I can tell my face is slimmer but other than that it still looks like regular me. It helps that my co-workers and friends have commented on it as well.

I had a tense moment with a good friend a few days ago. She is also SMO...she weighed about 345 a few months ago when we wait ourselves together. I have noticed that she's made some comments towards me and I haven't taken them personally. When I told her about my surgery beforehand, she kept making remarks about how happy she was with herself and about how she didn't have any ill effects from being so large. Granted, she's only 25. After surgery, she was really sweet and she checked on me but she still made a few comments about it being irreversible and about how I'm beautiful "the way I am." I think my surgery has made her confront her own weight, and she's decided to try to not acknowledge it. As a friend, I'm unsure of what I should say. When she saw me a few days ago, she specifically did not mention my weight loss or my surgery. Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset. I feel like she's struggling and I should say something.

Anyway. If you made it to here, I apologize for holding your time. I absolutely loved reading all of the updates and surgery posts when I started creeping on the site, so I figured I would do the same. I'll post pictures on my 3 month SV day. :-)

I have no regrets thus far, but I know it will be a journey. I don't think that I will ever regret taking this step for my health. I know some people ask me about my GERD and said that I shouldn't have had the surgery, but I haven't had any other problems with it yet. Most of my family members have it and they are all normal BMI, so I suppose some things are just genetic. My PPI controls it well, and I haven't had symptoms even when I have forgotten it. I will stay on top of it and pay attention to my body and probably get a scope just to check it out next year.

Thanks for all of the information and help over the past couple of months! It's been invaluable.

i loved reading this. wish i'd been more diligent to document my first month, even though it's been ages ago.

continue to enjoy this journey. if you come across people that may say no-so-nice comments, your attitude and positive outlook will back you up as you travel along doing what you know is best to maintain the goal you'll reach.

yay you!

jo

Congrats on your success so far!! I know it feels good. I'm on cloud nine lately.

I also have a co-worker friend who was not as supportive in the beginning. She's very heavy with all sorts of medical problems. Before surgery she loved to tell me about all of the complications her mother and sister have had after their surgeries (both RNY). She even told me about someone she knew who had died. She also told me about a time when she met a patient who had become a quadriplegic after throwing a clot on the operating table during bariatric surgery. Oh yes it was quite lovely to hear right before I was to go under the knife.

Post surgery she now compliments me a lot. She seems more supportive. If she asks questions I answer. I'm not going to shove bariatric surgery down anyone's throat, and whenever she makes any negative comments, I just nod or shrug. I prefer to let my results do the talking, but if she ever needs my support I'm there for her.

Its also hard hard not to be excited, and happy about my surgery. I don't want to make her feel bad, or feel like I'm rubbing it in her face. It's a hard balancing act.

Wishing you continued success!!

I had several people tell me those stories too, and it didn't help that I had a friend whose father died from RNY complications. I'm sorry, that must have been nerve wracking.

What people don't realize is that living with morbid obesity is just as or more so dangerous. There is a risk of surgery for anyone, especially those who are so large and already have health problems. It made me so nervous. I made sure they put me on heparin, I wore my compression tights, took my walks, swallowed the damn water as much as I could, and tried not to worry about it. And man, am I glad I did it.

I am trying to be diplomatic with my friend, and you're right, our results speak for themselves!

Congratulations on your latest weigh-in. We are going to be in the 200s before we know it! :-)

I hope so. I only lost 10 last month. I'm shooting for 15 this month. I think adding in exercise will help!

Hi and Congratulations!1 Thats a lot of weight for one month!!

Please keep an eye on the GERD. I had a sleeve and had to revise to RNY 6 months ago after 9 years of progressive suffering and weight gain due to eating carby foods and crackers to relieve the constant burning and vomiting. It progressively got worse over time because the esophagus sphincter overtime due to the LES pressure with the sleeve. I don't take any meds anymore (relief) but I was taking maximum drugs for acid and they lose their efficacy overtime. I also had a hiatal hernia that no one saw until they did the RNY.

Don't take reflux lightly!

I definitely won't take it lightly, thank you! I was serious about getting a scope and monitoring over time.

Of course, I'm still hoping that I'm in the 35-50% (varies across several factors) that don't have worsening GERD after surgery. Time will tell.

Congrats on your revision!

Congrats!

Congratulations and keep up the great work!

Thanks for sharing your experience, I love reading reflection posts! Congrats on your progress - physical & mental. You're doing awesome!