NSV - Life Changing - Caution: Brutal Honesty Inside

I've been SSMO for the last 10 years. Although I still worked full time, I couldn't walk (also due to an illness, but my weight was a big part of the reason). My husband, unfortunately, was/is an enabler. And he loves me more than anything. As much as he supports me in this new lifestyle (and he does!), he supported me when I was at my heaviest.

He hated it, but did it anyway. He built me custom seating that involved 4 x 4's and industrial strength wheels. He installed chair lifts in the car. Modified the car seats so I could fit.

He also built me a custom shower when I could no longer fit in our regular shower. I was too big to shower anymore. I had to leave the door open and the floor would flood. I guess you can imagine that my hygiene suffered. So he built me an 6' x 6' enclosed outdoor shower. With multi nozzles and sprayers and a custom bath chair. That is where I have showered for the last several years.

It amazes me today how many 'accommodations' had to be made so I could slowly kill myself with food. I never really looked at it and saw the big picture. I ignored all the "hello" signs and the red flags.

Well, today, I tried the regular bathroom shower. Not only did I fit and could close the door, I could turn around completely and didn't touch any of the walls. I took a shower INSIDE THE HOUSE.

If you are reading this and can relate to or are still dealing with some of these issues, please know that you can change it. It is not easy, but it is possible. Can I sit in a regular chair yet? I don't know, I haven't tried. Can I fit in a regular bathroom stall in a store? I don't know, I haven't tried yet.

But I'm going to try and even if I can't, I'm going to continue to try periodically because I know that I will eventually get there.

Peace, love and hugs to all of you here on OH. You have been a rock in a the storm for me. Thank you.

What a tremendous NSV. It must feel amazing. Good for you. Enjoy your new freedom.

Throughout this process, it always amazed me how many compromises we made because of our weight. I think we got as heavy as we did because the compromises were gradual. One thing, then another, and another, until our whole lives were affected by obesity.

And now you get to see the process in reverse, and speeded up! You'll have so many victories like this as you continue to lose weight. Enjoy the ride!

As I look back, I agree, it was a very gradual process. One little change at a time to accommodate the increasing size. Each change required mental gymnastics to rationalize why the change had to be made. I got quite good at rationalization. Now, I deal in reality and don't let the three year old that lives in my heart to dictate why we need to do those things that only give temporary pleasure. Instead, I hug her even when she throws a fit and tell her it will be alright. (Therapy is wonderful).

Thank you for sharing this.

I agree with Grim, it's amazing, in retrospect, the things we do to adapt to a world that is unwilling to adapt to us.

Keep up the hard work.

What an amazing NSV for you!

And I'm also so happy to see, that even if your husband was an 'enabler' for you in the past, that he is now also supporting you on the way down. That makes me so happy for you, because often that isn't the case.

I can't wait to hear about all of your victories as you continue on your journey!

I had to come to terms with his undying support. In some ways it is a gift and in some ways it is a curse. And ultimately, it is me who determines which it is.

If I ask for support from him that is good for me, I get it. I can also talk him into supporting me in things that are not good for me, even if it makes him unhappy.

I love him so very much and he loves me back. He is truly my soulmate and together we have built a very happy relationship. Of course, he is not perfect, but neither am I. So together we make a great team as his strengths are my weaknesses and my strengths are his weaknesses. I am truly blessed.

That's great! And it's awesome that you have such a great support in your life.

I think it's easy to ignore the gradual changes, even when you have to buy the next size up in clothes, or make an accommodation. One day you suddenly realize you've moved so much further down that road than you thought you had, and it's sobering.

Your progress is amazing, keep it going!

Thank you. When I look back and see the entire picture, it truly is sobering. Actually, it was closer to horrifying. When I finally opened my eyes and really looked at where I had gotten to, I couldn't believe the path that I had traveled and life I was living. And I was doing everything I could to continue to walk the path. I was researching what I could wear that was bigger than 6X as I was almost out of that size that was the biggest retail size you cold easily buy. I even looked into getting custom clothing made. Wow.

What wonderful progress! So proud of you! Keep up the great work