Hello (+ seeking some advice/opinions)
I'm so glad if my message was helpful. I am from Illinois, and although I have some family still there (my son, Paul, his wife Stephanie and my little grand, Isabelle who is 4 -- and of course who I adore!), and many dear friends, I find that this southwestern corner of Vermont is the place that feeds my soul...I've lived here on and off for the past 12 years, and finally decided 2 years ago to move out here for good. Although my son and I have had a pretty good relationship since he was 14, and I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, since his marriage things have changed somewhat. I think it is because his wife is not very fond of me,due to some poor decisions I made in the past. She and my son have not been supportive of this process of the surgery (and she is a nurse-practitioner!) at all, which I find very sad. So a side benefit for me has been to prove them wrong - and show, in the process, how responsible I'm being with my future and my health. I have some friends here who have also be so supportive! Everyone finds it good news for me, except my son and his wife. And they had been after me for the past 5 years to lose weight - so I find a way to do so, and they still aren't supportive. I'M supportive though, and it feels great to take ahold of my life again...:-)
Do you mind my asking the general area where you are? You mentioned speaking French...might you be somewhere in Canada? Or are you in Europe? It's ok if you don't want to say. I'd enjoy writing to you via email if you would like; or you may find me on Facebook, my profile photo has me wearing glasses, short hair, and wearing pink and white top. The page photo is something with French language! I kid you not, I had posted it a few days ago, and now I 'meet' you, who speaks French! If you'd rather only share occasional contact via this page, that is ok...I sure don't want to put any MORE pressure on you. Bless you for what you are trying to do, to help yourself. You are right in that stress is AWFUL. With my bipolar thing, I'm to keep stress at an absolute minimum...doctors orders from over 20 years ago...Be well. Cindy Butler
Hey! Yeah, you definite understand about the stress thing, then!! How awful about your unsupportive family! I'm glad you have friends who are providing some of that, at least!!
I'm from Winnipeg, but have been living in Québec City for the past five years now. It's ALL French there, and while my French is pretty fluent, it's an added stress of daily life for sure. They're particularly not open to outsiders there, and I'm a white, blond North American, so all I can say is God help the refugees who get placed there. I'm moving back to Winnipeg in July and I can't wait!
I'd love to be facebook friends! I'll come and find you!
Update: Okay, I've found you, but there's no option to add you as a friend, just to follow you. So, I've followed you! I'm Sandra Bender, and have wavy chin-length blond hair and the cover photo has a huge red rose in it, if that helps? :)
Hi Sandra, yes, I see you found me and I didn't see a way to 'friend' you either - only to follow. Hmmm. Wonder why...I'll look into it. Glad we may at least 'follow' one another. I so admire you that you speak French! I only know a few words, that I've heard in movies...but don't ask me how to spell any of them! ha I lived in West Germany (yes, before the wall came down) from 1981-1983 as a young Army bride and while I could read German, I couldn't seem to speak it past basic phrases...and counting to 10! Really! I also learned a swear word or two (since husband - now my ex - was an American soldier). ha
I've never had a friend that was from/lived in Canada, so I'll have to check out the map of your country...always like to learn new things.
Hugs from across the border -
Cindy
Hi there,
I'm a newbie too and just in the process in Ontario. It takes a while. I was referred in Oct, had an orientation in December, and meet with the nurse in a few weeks.
They give you lots of info at the orientation. In Ontario they said that they most often do the RNY, unless there is a compelling reason for the sleeve and that only the surgeon can decide ultimately.
The Ontario forum folks who've been through it are all pretty helpful as well.
Goid luck, I have many of the same questions as you do I'll look to see your answers.
Redhead
Hmm, interesting! Nice to meet another newbie, too! Yay! So, here's a new complication to my issue: I currently live in Québec City, but I'm from Winnipeg and am moving back there in July. That's where I'd like to have the surgery done, but obviously I can't get started with the referral and such until I actually live there. Also, the one hospital in Winnipeg that does it for free requires you to have a BMI of 40-55. Mine is about five points too high, so basically that means I have six months to do everything I can to get my BMI down far enough to qualify, and my family doctor said he'll refer me then. I'll be curious to see which surgery they recommend in the program, but either way, it will be great to have that counselling and information!
Good luck to you, too!! Do you have any idea how long your wait will be? The hospital here (I'm still in Winnipeg on the tail end of Christmas holidays!) says it takes years... fun fun! I'll add you as a friend! I'd love to be kept posted about the details and everything. :)
Hi there,
You have had a lot of great responses so far. I am going to pick and choose what items I comment on (for brevity!) and also will post my milestone post links below, in case you find them useful. I just celebrated my four year surgiversary in December and you will notice I called my RNY "the best gift I ever gave myself" so you can see I am still exceedingly happy with my decision, and dare I say, it has changed the course of my life forever.
So here is my input, but as they say, opinions are like a**holes - everyone has one. So this is just my personal experience!
I was 36 when I had RNY, 351 lbs, 5'4" and "healthy". Or as healthy as a super morbidly obese person could be. I didn't have diabetes (yet), but my joints ached time to time. I felt "active" in the sense that I lived a very full life of socializing, dating, working, going to happy hours, traveling for fun and for work. I didn't realize how sedentary I was, and how I had to modify my life constantly. Making sure my hotel wasn't far from the convention center so I could walk it without tiring. Looking at restaurant website pictures to make sure the chairs weren't flimsy, or the booths too close together. Etc. Now, half the person I once was, I can easily walk 10 miles in a day - something that could have never happened at 350 lbs!
I know people think RNY is more "complex" than VSG. I dunno, I kind of thought they were six of one, half dozen of another. I mean, I chose to have my stomach stapled into a smaller pouch and reattached to my intestine further down. A VSG would mean removing 80% of my stomach out a hole in my skin, which sounds just as permanent to me. I never had GERD, but I opted for RNY so I could benefit from the malabsorption. Four years out, knowing what I know now, you can have equal success with both surgeries - it depends how you work your program. If you commit to weighing and measuring your food, and eating high protein and low carb, you will lose. RNY does require more of a vitamin regimen and I wasn't awesome at that for the last year or so, and I am getting my vitamin regimen to be more in line with my nutritional deficiencies now. So please know that it requires ongoing vigilance and there is a cost.
I didn't think I would need plastics. I'm not sure how I thought I would lose ~200 lbs and not have saggy skin, but hey, the mind is a funny thing. After losing my weight, I did opt to have a lower body lift and breast lift, and then ultimately later, an arm lift. None were medically necessary but they made me feel better and I found a way to pay for them. I would be absolutely fine had I not had them. And in fact I dated with saggy skin and no one recoiled in horror when I got naked ;) My before and after plastics pics are in my plastics post below.
As many have said, the head part of this is the tough part. It's hard to feel satiated from half of a chicken sausage MENTALLY, when you're used to massive quantities of food. I struggle with this daily, even now. So if you can do therapy, you may want to - many people swear by it for their success.
If you need to get your BMI lower in order to qualify for surgery, go for the high protein, low carb diet that you will have to follow after surgery. Eat chicken, turkey, fish, shrimp, steak...and then some veggie on the side. Skip the bread and the fries and the potatoes. You can easily get down to a safe weight for surgery doing that, in my opinion.
Also, there is a Canada discussion board here that seems pretty active so you may find some good mentors on there who have been through the process. Free WLS sounds like a dream - mine was $12k out of pocket with insurance (there was a maximum).
And my final piece of advice - come here and read. Ask questions. Participate in the what are you eating daily thread on the VSG and RNY boards (the RNY has more participation but both groups are great!) and get to know people. I have made some awesomely close friends on this site who get it. Your "normal" friends will not understand foamies, or constipation, or being full from a glass of water, or timing your drinking to be at least 30 minutes after eating and all the stuff that seems so new and weird after surgery. But soon your life is a new normal, and I can say that at four years out I eat similar sized meals to normal sized people sometimes. So don't worry about mourning food and not being able to go to restaurants. Instead, revel in the idea of waking up sans back pain, with more energy than you thought possible, wrapping a towel fully around your body, shopping in any store anywhere, crossing your legs, buckling an airplane seatbelt and having extra room...the list of joy goes on and on! Good luck!
100 lbs: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/5250347/Century-Club-i n-4-months-and-4-days-my-story/200 lbs: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/5275149/Down-201-lbs-b efore-and-after-pic/ Goal: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/5278769/I-made-goal-An d-now-the-hard-part-begins/
Plastics: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/plasticsurgery/5309071/X-p ost-Everything-I-wished-I-had-known-and-everything-I/
Two year surgiversary: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/5445401/My-two-year-su rgiversary-with-a-before-and-after-picture/
Three year surgiversary: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/6014459/Three-year-sur giversary-before-and-after-pics-included/#50165149
Two years post LBL:
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/plasticsurgery/6022374/Pic s-2-years-post-op-lower-body-lift-breast-lift-and-1-5/ Four year surgiversary: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/6028857/Four-years-gon e-by-and-RNY-is-still-the-best-gift-I-ever/
Greetings,
I just had my VSG on November 29th and have to say that I discerned whether to have the surgery for over 2 years. In that time, I participated in one-on-one counseling, as well as taking action like you are to lower your BMI. I think the biggest lesson I have learned in my journey is the importance of a comprehensive support program for this type of surgery. The process I went through, having experienced two years of preparation, has become vitally important to me, because there are times of doubt and fear that you will experience, but having support makes all the difference. I have friends that did not practice due diligence and have gained their weight back because their perceptions of the surgery were messed up. The surgery is not the solution, it is but a tool that you use to change your life and behavior. Not modifying your behavior, habits, and perceptions of food and how you socially interact with people, can result in a lot of struggle. This is a life long change that does not end. I will eventually be able to eat the same foods as other people, just not in the portion sizes because my stomach is very small. Do I have or have I had regrets for the surgery ... ABSOLUTELY NOT. But I feel that I was completely prepared for the lifestyle change because I spent the time learning about the behavior change and actually begin to live the lifestyle. My starting weight was 365 pounds one year ago. Before my surgery, I successfully began living the lifestyle and by the time of my surgery in November, by weight was down to 285 pounds. When I left the hospital on December 5th, I was 306 pounds, and I now weigh 254 pounds. I have severe arthritis (two artificial hips, 1 artificial knee, 1 artificial shoulder, and an artificial spinal disc) and have no felt this good in years. My blood pressure at the time of surgery (11/29/2017) was 164/87. As of 12/29/2018, it is 125/70. My whole life is changing in such an exciting way, but I was completely prepared for the entire program. To be successful, it requires much more than the surgery. Surgery is the tool. Two years down the road is when it will become more of a struggle because it will never go away. It is a way of life and if you are not ready to embrace and live the new life, it will be a struggle and there may be a lot of regret. As far as saggy skin, some of that will be eliminated the more I work out and build my muscle mass. Saggy skin is no reason not to have the surgery, not being properly prepared and partnering with your Bariatric professionals and embracing the new lifestyle is a reason not to move forward because you are correct, it is not a natural thing to have your stomach cut out of your body. So that you know, the reason they remove the portion of the stomach that they do, is to remove the portion of the stomach that produces the hormones that tell your brain to eat. If I do not consciously manage my eating schedule, I have zero desire to eat and I could very easily not eat for days so it is very important to look at this as a lifestyle change, not just a surgery.
As the others have mentioned, you may want to start looking into a weight loss program run by a hospital and start your journey there. Tell them that you are considering the weight loss surgery and they will guide you through it. I had monthly meetings with a Nurse Practitioner, including additional meetings with a nutritionist and other meetings and support groups before I made my decision.
If you choose to have the surgery, good luck! If you can do it with the diet they start you on, that is an option also. I lost 60 lbs with the pre-diet, but still decided to go through with the procedure because I wanted that extra tool. It is not an "easy way out", but a tool to use to keep yourself on the losing side!
Hey, thanks for responding! The trouble with a hospital plan for me is that I currently live in a city where they speak French, and while my French is pretty good, I would find it oppressive in a situation like this, to have one more thing to make it all the more difficult, you know? In six months I'll be moving back to my home city, so I'm thinking of going with the Mayo Clinic's diet for now and see what I can do with that!
Definitely not an "easy way out", I agree! Thanks again for your response. :)
