Getting to goal? Advice please!

Hey everyone! I need some help/advice

So my surgery is scheduled for December 1st (wooooo)

I've been thinking of my ultimate goals. I asked my surgeon and he said you'll have no problem getting to your ideal body weight. But that doesn't help haha

I am 5'7 1/2, I'm currently 259lbs. As my surgeon says "I carry it well" he was saying I don't have 100 lbs to lose but technically I do, and he agreed I'll get it off.

I don't want to choose a goal weight that I can't accomplish, but at the same time I wanna pu****

My first goals will be 180 or 170. What would you suggest be my ultimate 150 or 160? Technically for my height my weight should be between 120 and 160.

Please share your start and end with pictures if possible, especially if your around the same height!

Also my surgeon said to expect a minimum of 60-80lbs because of my age and activity level.

Thank you all!!!

I played around a lot with this tool while trying to figure out what my ideal weight is - http://halls.md/ideal-weight/body.htm (The thing I really like about this site is that it provides multiple different ideal weight calculation methods and explains the strengths and weaknesses of each.)

A lot of people here talk about ideal weight and goal weight as though they are synonymous, but they're completely different things. (Well, they can be unless you're someone who has a goal weight of your ideal weight, but that's rare.)

I set myself a lot of goals and then I've got an ultimate dream goal as well. For me, being 5'4" and starting at ~320, I had a lot of excess skin and that was also a factor in goal formation. (Well, it should have been originally but it wasn't until I got closer to that ultimate goal and realized that if I were to reach that ultimate goal, I would not be able to heal well from major surgery since my body would have no stores to draw on.)

So... I guess I'm saying - play around. Take things one goal at a time and reevaluate often. :)

I had surgery in August. My surgeon won't discuss goal weight this early, besides stating that average weight loss is 60% of excess weight. He did say that I would likely lose more than that because of my age and overall health. He told me to lose as much as possible, as fast as possible. I plan on getting down to a normal BMI, and then reassessing. I've set some smaller goals as well.

My surgeon did not set a goal weight for me. I did not set a goal weight for me. My surgery was August 23, 2016 - I'm 14 months out. I'm down 105-107 pounds (depends on the day) and have been decreasing my overall body fat percentage and increasing my muscle mass.

I know that I look like crap at what the tables call a normal BMI. I am a very busty 5'3". So when I get to 125, I look like Dolly Parton - not what I want to look like. Also, I have a very solid, athletic build - most people think I'm around 130 right now, even though I'm 30 pounds above that.

I'd like to get to around 150. I think. I'll see how I look when I get there.

Success, from statistical terms, is about percentage of excess weight lost. Even if I call 150 my "goal", I have lost 87% of my excess body weight. They have declared me enough of a success that they have asked that I speak to the pre-op support groups and newly post op support groups.

You may also find you get more active. I'm 56. I now fence (en garde) 4-5 hours a week. Do Pilates and Yoga another 2 hours a week. Strength and agility training another 2 hours a week. If you had told me two years ago I'd be doing that, I ask you what kind of drugs you were taking.

To be honest, I enjoy being active and don't like sitting still any more.

You'll know your goal when you get there.

There is the statistical likelihood of regaining 5%-30% of your total weight lost over 2-10 years after surgery (depending on the study). For me, that means I may fight a regain of up to 30lbs in the next few years and I want to make sure I never gain past a healthy BMI. At 5'4" my healthy BMI cutoff is 145 and I'm planning on maintaining for life at 120-124. I may try to lose down to 115 to give myself even more cushion for possible regain. I'm a little scared of losing that much, but I think the regain cushion is really important.

Keep in mind, age plays a factor as well. Depending on where you are age wise, you may never see "normal" on the BMI charts. As a woman who has had two children and is going through menopause, I know that I'll never see 125 again. Ever. But what I can do is increase muscle mass and decrease fat. So if I only lose another 10 pounds, but get my body fat down to about 26% (which is about 9 points lower than where I am right now and this is pre-plastics), I'll be very happy.

I'm 5'9" (used to be 5'10" LOL). I started at 306#. I'm 48.

I have been struggling with the whole "goal weight" thing myself. Here's my thought process (will probably be a long post, sorry...)

The BMI charts recommend 129-169#.

Looking back, I remember looking and feeling great (as an adult) somewhere in 175-185# in my mid 20-s. But that was also pre-baby.

The last time I was at 165# I was 19 and I had to run 2 miles a day and watch every single bite I put in my mouth. I also was starting to look way too thin. Again, pre-baby.

I decided to set my goal 175-185#. Everyone on my medical team was elated that I was under 200# at my 1-year surgiversary. I've surpassed my surgeon's expectations, my primary doc is elated with my progress, and my rheumy is equally as thrilled.

I've been in the 193-195# range for a couple of months now. I've had problems with my chronic illnesses, am finishing up grad school, and generally having a lot of stress. I'm not making the best food choices, but I'm able to maintain without much difficulty. I even drop a pound or two every month or so, still. But certainly am not losing fast enough to see goal anytime soon the way I'm going.

But I'm re-considering if that's the right goal for me. I did this entirely for health reasons. I started having friends and family tell me I was starting to look too skinny around 210#. I chalked it up to most of them either never having known me under 200# or (like for family) not having seen me under 200# for over 20 years. I know that if I got down to the "normal" BMI range, I'd look WAY too skinny, and to maintain that even when I was 19 and had teen pre-baby metabolism I was having to be too obsessive with diet/exercise. I cannot afford to put myself in that place again. So I will never have a normal BMI, and my medical team is 100% behind that. Medically speaking, there's not a whole lot of benefit for another 10-20# loss. There's a benefit to be sure, but it's slight compared to the benefit I've already seen with the 115# loss.

So for me, I am now in a place where I need to find the right balance between my weight, my chronic illnesses, and the stress it can impose trying to maintain a certain number on the scale. Stress increases all of my chronic conditions, so if there's no clear benefit for the last 20# but it will increase my stress levels, I'm better off 20# heavier than I originally thought I'd be, but finding a nice balance. I look great, other than my chronic conditions I feel awesome (and some of those conditions are in remission thanks to the weight loss). I can maintain OK at this weight. My "freak out" number is 200#. So there would be a mental benefit to having more room for "bounce" than the 5-7# I have now.

Ultimately, I've decided to give myself some breathing space. Work on figuring out what maintenance looks like through the holidays and winter. Lose a pound here or there if I can, but that's not the primary goal. Work on getting more active again. Then in the spring when I historically start feeling better, see if I can work more and get closer to my original goal. But generally, quit stressing about it unless the scale starts climbing.

You are the only person who will know when you've found the right place for your weight. Some people on the boards have done amazing things in changing their lifestyle and feel amazing at weights much lower than they originally thought they'd be able to accomplish. Others find that their original goal was right on target. Some of us find that our original goals were probably a little ambitious and are happier a little heavier. I personally believe it has to be a balance between how you feel, the numbers on the scale, and what kind of time and energy commitment it takes to maintain that number.

And remember, that the surgeons set their expectations based on averages. Those averages include the people who go well below their initial goal, as well as the people who don't make the changes they need and only lose a small part of their excess body weight. BMI was designed as a measure for population studies, it was not intended to be used the way it is on an individual level. The Met Life charts are insane for many people. (It tells me I should weigh 145# LOL.)

You and I are not statistics, we're people. The surgeon gives us a great tool, and it's up to us what we do with it. You can absolutely meet whatever goal you set, if you do the work to get there. Set a goal, make it an ambitious one. You can always re-think that goal when you get closer to it.

I think one of the challenges we face, mentally, is once we set a goal we consider it set it stone and changing it is a failure. Part of my brain is telling me that I only want to change my goal because I don't want to do the work to get there, and I'm giving up in sight of the goal line, and that's lazy and self indulgent. (Yes, I'm still in therapy... LOL) But the rational part of my brain recognizes that 115# lost is nowhere near a failure, and I'm giving a lot of thought to what's the best place for me to aim for maintenance (as evidenced by this novel of a post), so I'm not just willy-nilly giving up.

Part of life is learning to roll with the punches. My life right now isn't what my life will be in 6 months. What's right for now may change next year. I may learn that it's silly to put too much emotional weight on the number 200# and my happy place might be at 203#. (that thought gives me the willies) I may find that I just needed this little break, and I end up at the low end of my goal weight 6 months from now. But as long as I am doing all of this consciously, and don't end up back in my old eating patterns, I'll be doing well.

As is my usual disclaimer, this is my experience, take it for what it's worth to you.

Thank you for sharing! I'm just afraid of setting a goal too hard to reach and on the other side I'm afraid of not pushing myslef

How old are you? I assume you are young because you have twin toddlers.

I am 5'7". I had RNY when I was 42 (9 years ago). My highest weight was 340 and I maintain around 140. I chose 140 as my goal weight because that was what I weighed in my 20's and I remember feeling good at that weight.

I would shoot for a BMI under 25 and/or a certain bodyfat percentage. You can always readjust your goal as you get closer. Focus on following your plan and learning a new healthy lifestyle. No excuses. Losing the weight is the easy part. Maintaining is 100 times harder.

Thank you! I am young, I just turned 28. I figure I'll get to 150ish and decide my ultimate goal! Thank you for your input