Holidays and VSG

Holidays are on the way, I am 4 months out post VSG and down 50lbs. I am not looking forward to cooking thanksgiving dinner or Christmas dinner! In the past, my family has always had fun cooking together. Tasting everything as it is being made. We drink glass of wine or 3 and its always made the task so much more enjoyable. This year it will be very different for me.

It seem I avoid social situations that involve food or alcohol because I know its something I cant have.

Any suggestions how to get through the holidays with out feeling stress and not normal.

First of all, what fabulous progress, congrats!

I've found that for me events have shifted from being about food to being about people. I find that I know focus on people far more during them, and it's made me realize that in the past when I used to drink wine during the holidays, it was definitely sometimes done to not focus on people, ha.

Kidding aside, for me it's been an affirmation of how important people are in my life, and a return to focusing on human interaction vs. food. I cook all the time. If someone wants something I can't eat I still cook it. Is it hard? Sometimes, sure. However, I always have other stuff for myself and through practice (a lot of practice and counseling really because I had severe issues with food most people don't) I can generally tolerate being around food. Do I mess up sometimes and eat crap? Well, absolutely. I make sure to set up myself for success during holidays so I do not miss them, and also so I focus on what is truly important - memories and experiences rather than food and alcohol.

Rather than avoid them, why not bring food you can eat? You can make, say, low-carb cheesecake or cranberry fluff to have during dessert. There's low carb cheese cake and low-carb pumpkin pie, both of which taste good and are lower calorie. There's lots of ways to eat healthy but still enjoy things during the holidays. Turkey, ham, beef, lamb - all of those are healthy. Make dressing from veg primarily and you can eat it. You can drink other things rather than wine, and they have non-alcoholic wine. If you eat higher carbs (some WLS peeps do) there are even more options that aren't so different. If I have extra food after parties I can't eat my neighbors love me because I give it away.

The truth is that if the absence of food or alcohol causes an emotional loss, that should give all of us pause, no matter who we are. We should see why it's the case. In my case, it was because I was substituting it for human interaction and connection. Is that everyone's deal? Absolutely not! Most people mourn their old habits during ha*****ange.

However, it is possible to have fulfilling and happy holidays post-WLS, I promise. :)

I'm 4 weeks out and usually I'm the cook for the holidays and my home is the gathering place. Focus on family over food. I'm making a healthy turkey breast- great protein source, skipping the stuffing this year and having extra vegetable sides. We can still eat! Just differently.

I'm still baking Gingerbread cookies at Christmas with my 26 year old daughter who is now a lawyer! We've been doing this since she was 4 years old -every December. I don't care about eating the cookies, but I wouldn't miss this tradition and time with her.

My family has been so supportive and they are on board. It's more important to get together as a family than to have a ton of food. I'll still offer wine to my guests and I'll have fancy imported spring water for me. I don't feel deprived-I feel more empowered to make better decisions for my health. Yes, it's hard but try to remember why you decided to have this surgery. We can do this!

Well done on a great loss so far Cherrilo. I am also 4 months out

I think you bring up a really valid point with your concerns. Something that has also gone through my head but I have decided to tackle it with the mindset of - I am in a better place mentally and physically than I was this time last year. Christmas used to be a time I allowed myself to make all the excuses under the sun to overeat and drink. Its Christmas right ....... Just one day right ....... I gave myself permission to be frankly a piglet for a day.

I too love cooking and will be making our traditional meals for my family. I will be eating a small portion of mainly the protein parts - ham, turkey etc but I am also allowing myself a small spoonful of other things. I dont know about you but I have found in the past if I deny myself things - it snowballs in my mind - I feel like Im missing out and deprived and that has lead to binge or excessive eating behaviours. The words "everthing in moderation" really do ring true.

Personally I would focus on what you are sharing with your family - rather than the food but still do it. Its a reason for coming together and sharing laughs and making more memories. Dont avoid the things you used to love so much - everything can be modified so that you still can eat/enjoy it but to a level that you dont feel like you have to miss out.

Maybe look for a couple of Low Carb treats that you can make for yourself. When they are having nibbles - maybe make a batch of parmesan crisps and have those. Find a nice drink that you can chill and sip on whilst they have their wine. That way you are participating and it should help you to not feel like you are missing out or be the one sitting off to the side cause you are worried about not eating the right things. And you know what if you do have a little more of something you wouldnt normally (our tummies only have a small capacity) Its one day and you can restart the next day.

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas with your family. Be proud of how far you have come and enjoy this time. You are making new memories now. Imagine next Christmas and the one after that. This is a lifelong change - and one I think is amazing

Shirley

No reason you can't do the cooking - I made Thanksgiving for my family last year - I was about 3 months out. I tasted a bite of stuffing and a bite of mashed potatoes, but mostly had the turkey and green beans. We don't do pumpkin pie - so I made chocolate cake (it was what they wanted) which I could care less about. (My issue has never been sweets). I did have a bit of wine to toast with and I know there are others who will tar and feather me for saying that, but it was important to me and to our family. We played cards against humanity and had a blast after dinner.

I made all my usual dozens of Christmas cookies and gave them away as gifts. I found it pretty easy to ignore them because I knew how hard I had worked to get where I was.

I still love to cook! It's one of my favorite hobbies. I actually enjoy cooking feasts for my family and friends. I can eat only a small fraction of what I used to, but it's still so much fun to have small tastes of everything and see my guests enjoy my creations. And I actually am relieved not to be able to eat as much as I used to, so the small portions I see as a blessing rather than something that sets me apart from my guests. There's no reason you can't enjoy the holiday just as much as you used to.

Make it foremost about spending time with your loved ones and sharing an experience and secondarily about eating.

I have been researching low carb stuffing and a few other things, I figure I will do the traditional stuff for the family, but at the same time trying something new just for me. I think I will miss the wine the most. LOL My son and I learned a few years ago that all that work is not so bad if you can drink wine. LOL And you are all right about the focus is family. also things are not as difficult to do with that extra 50 lbs off my body. I can do this and I will still enjoy all it brings. Thank you all for the support!!

I was just having a phone conversation with mother today about this very same topic. I'm a little bummed about having to cook for the holidays when I'm still in the liquid phase. I've been told that this is one of the hardest adjustments (filling the void where food used to be). Food was a crutch, a friend, a way to celebrate, and a way to socialize. It will no doubt be a challenge getting used to life without relying on it so much. I'll be peaking back in to see the feedback. This question hits home for me right now. Wishing you the best over the holidays!

I guess a lot of us are in the same boat on this. How do we keep tradition yet learn to develop new habits that are not focused on eating and drinking. I think I will put more focus decorating, the entertainment, music, games. I am only 5 weeks out but feeling pretty good about not getting to eat my favorites. I am very motivated to keep losing. I do plan on having turkey and sugar free jello for desert and go for a walk afterwards.

So many things to say to all the comments here.

First - you do NOT have to cook. Seriously. It's okay if you don't cook for this holiday. The world will not end. Someone else can do it. You can order food. If cooking is something that you can't do safely right now - don't. Your health matters more than your holiday traditions.

Second - make new traditions that don't revolve around food! My holidays used to be spent eating and planning what would be eaten next. This doesn't need to be the way things are! Play games, watch movies, go for walks. Start new non-food traditions. It's okay!

Third - chances are, these changes that are healthier for you will be healthier for your family as well. While you're working hard to make good decisions for yourself, do you really want to be enabling them to make poor decisions for themselves?

Your first holidays will feel stressful and not normal - change is hard. But it's worth it. It gets easier with every holiday as you and yours learn how to make new traditions together. You might find you like those new traditions even better than the old ones. My family certainly has :)