What surprised you the most after you had your VSG surgery?

Ugh, yes. I was laid up with shin split/plantar fasciitis a few weeks ago and it was the worst. And then I remember that this was life all the time when I was SMO. Good motivation to never want to go back there since the pain of just existing was miserable.

These "little" things are so longed for! I'm so happy for you and I thank you for the encouragement! I was just thinking the other day, "Maybe, must maybe, one day I won't even want this dang recliner around anymore!" I feel like I'm almost stuck to it. :(

Hi Dcgirl,

It's so interesting to hear you say this. I keep worrying that the surgery/keeping the weight off after is going to be hard that I discount the day-to-day hard of having this weight on my body now.

Paige

I will answer two-fold:

I like your questions because they give me a chance to explore my feels!

For roughly a month after the surgery I was surprised how hard-core I mourned food. I felt lightweight obsessed; dreaming about it, thinking about it, crying over it. All of that while I couldn't have eaten a bite without extreme pain and I had no hunger at all. It provided me a very clear vision of what I already knew: that my "hunger" was primarily in my mind, not my body.

Six-Seven months after surgery I found myself surprised that I was overwhelmed by shopping. I had been plus-sized for so many years and was used to shopping simply hoping to find something that fit. The plus size stores or sections were relatively small and homogeneous. All of a sudden I felt like I was in a sea of clothes that could fit. I couldn't figure out my "size" because the variation was so great. And there were endless choices! But I was overwhelmed and had a hard time figuring out what looked good on me or what I liked.

Currently (almost 1 year post-op) I am surprised at my vulnerability. I feel strangely exposed. I am not 100% sure of myself because I'm relearning who I am in this kind of body. I don't have the jokes I used to because I can't berate myself the way I used to. I don't have my coping mechanism of choice which makes stress management different. And, yes, people do treat me differently. Sometimes better and in some ways worse. I'm just rolling with it all deciding what to do with that too.

Hi Notaboutperfect,

Were you ever able to get to the bottom of what was causing your mind hunger? I'm working with my therapist on that now pre-WLS. Basically, I know that food is how I have been coping with all of my emotions, particularly anxiety and boredom. I'm working on dealing with my anxiety and boredom in new ways but am not there yet.

That totally makes sense about shopping to clothe a completely different body. There actually should be a site or something for WLS patients to help us figure out our body types after surgery and what kinds of things would look good on us post-op.

People are treating you worse? Have you noticed that a lot of your relationships have changed? Do people seem jealous of you after your surgery?

Thanks for your response - I really appreciate it!

Paige

I think everyone has a complex story that leads to what I consider an outward expression of pain (obesity). I know there is a size "movement" right now that basically tells people to love themselves at any size and I support that in part. But, I wont get into my thoughts on that-or this post will be a book!

I started psychotherapy two years prior to WLS. I didn't start because of weight or eating issues, but rather severe depression and PTSD. I didn't take care of myself when I was younger and was overweight, but eating was not totally out of control. I was then what I would call an emotional and mindless eater. I ate with every emotion and I didn't care how much or what. Continuing on that path could have eventually led me to WLS. But, when I was 27 I entered into a relationship that led to living a dangerous and destructive life. At 36 I escaped that life (with my baby). (yay) But by that time I was depressed, suffering PTSD, and had developed BED. In therapy we addressed depression and PTSD and along the way she detected and diagnosed my BED. I was hiding it even from my therapist for quite a while. My suggestion for working through eating issues is to be completely open with your therapist. I actually gave her my real food journal and cried so much because I had to admit about my binges. I was so embarrassed and afraid she would "take" them away from me. Yup--didn't want to give them up. I had to elevate my mental health. BED came later when I felt stronger in other ways. Everyone is so different that it's impossible for me to tell you a magic thing that will make the change. I was always looking for a switch that I could flip to make me do better. You're in the right place with your therapist. But, even with therapy, I choose everyday how I will relate to food, and I suspect I'll have to consciously make that choice for the rest of my life.

As far as how people treat me.... I'm still interpreting this. My close relationships have not changed. I'm in a supervisory role and I've found people are more respectful and listen more. I've also found they help me more. In general, people are more responsive--let me through the door first, give me their place in line, look at me. All of these are nice things, but make me feel sad for the me before (and the still overweight folks). The non-nice is a little less obvious. I feel a disdain from the women who knew me before, they don't talk to me as much. Not overtly, but I notice. People try to push food on me and they comment on my body all the time. I understand that to a certain degree. I guess what I miss, is that when I was bigger (fat) people approached me so easily. They treated me as a confidante almost instantly. I felt invisible, but comfortably part of the majority.

As you can see, I am still working some of it out in my mind---please don't think for a second that I regret my newfound health. This has been the best thing and I'm quite happy to work through the collateral effects.

I'm surprised that:

1. I enjoy food just as much, if not more than I did before surgery. But, it's a totally different kind of enjoyment related to the quality and nutrition of food rather than the quantity.
2. I'm surprised that I love to exercise. And I mean that in a totally serious way. My body craves it. Sometimes I'll be walking down the street and just want to break out in a run.
3. I'm surprised by how much my tastes have changed since surgery. I love a lot of new foods that I never liked before (olives, smoked salmon, different veggies).
4. I'm surprised that I not only got to a normal BMI but to 'ideal weight' and then 10lbs below that. Even if only for awhile until I have some regain.

You lost me at olives ;)

Hey, I made it to the middle of #3!

Hi Erin,

That's a fantastic list! Did you exercise a lot before surgery? What about exercise makes you crave it now do you think?

Paige